“How was work?” Ben asks when I get home. He’s stationed on the couch, ostensibly playing video games, but I know he’s really waiting for me. Ever since his decree last week about staying home, he’s coincidentally been in the living room whenever I get back from my shift, or from being out. He must have had to switch his work hours around to do this, which shows his commitment.“Fine,” I say, going into the kitchen.“Want anything hot to drink? I’m gonna make myself a cup of tea,” I holler over my shoulder as I fill up the kettle.“I’ll do that for you,” he says, rushing into the kitchen and taking the kettle right out of my hands. This is another one of his new habits: he now tries to wait on me, hand and foot. I think he’d follow me around all day if he could. I feel like I’m a prisoner. “Ben, I’m perfectly capable of making myself a cup of tea. I think you’re taking this whole protection thing a little far,” I say.“You work hard, Bel. I’m just trying to help you out.”
I sprint as fast as I can, but their growls are so close that I can feel their hot breath on my fur. Teeth nip at my heels as I make a harsh right turn. It doesn’t work like I’d hoped; I don’t run away from the wolves, I run into them.Seven of them, all crowded in a circle and ready to pounce on me the second my fur touches theirs. Mouths grab my paws and I’m flipped onto my back, the starry night barely visible above me. My heart is racing and I can’t breathe, can’t think. All I feel, all I am is fear. I whine as they drag me across the dead leaves and fallen branches. I try to lift my snout to smell for James, but one of the wolves whacks me on the nose. Tears form in my eyes from the sharp hurt, and I hate that they’ve reduced me to a whimpering animal Someone must have slipped something into the water they gave me when we arrived at their compound, because when I wake up, it’s morning.I’m lying on a thin mattress in a cold white room without windows. My clothes are to
“You know, I wish you weren’t my mate,” I say, once we’re out of earshot of the others. I’d like to say it in front of everyone. I want everyone to know my true feelings about him. I want everyone to know what a coward James is. But I still won’t stoop that low.For James, it’s not just his pride on the line. It’s also his place in the pack that’s at risk. And though I resent him for not choosing me, I still begrudgingly respect what he chose. I won’t take that from him. “I wish I never met you,” I continue.The words sound wrong. They feel clunky and awful on my lips. They feel like flimsy lies I’m saying to try to make myself feel better, but it’s true. James has caused me nothing but hurt and trouble.I can see the hurt on his face as I fling these words at him. But he deserves it. He deserves to feel the intense pain he has put me through.“You let me down every single time you get the chance to,” I say. “And I’m so done with dealing with you. Don’t you ever try to tell me
“I’ll be back to talk with you again later,” Ryan says as he leaves the room. I try not to show my fear, but I do feel it. I wish I didn’t. I hate this sick feeling in my stomach that tells me something is wrong, that begs me to find a way out of this impossible situation.I am afraid though. I don’t know what they do to rogues. If the treatment I received on my way here was anything to base my future on, I’m in big trouble. Still, I remain strong.I don’t respond as Ryan walks away. James follows him without a response as well. And I’m left alone again.It’s not torture, of course. Not in the literal sense and I’m grateful for that. But the boredom, the sameness is a certain kind of torment. There’s nothing here to do except think about what’s going to come next and what has happened.There’s nothing to do but think of James for hours upon end. To think of how much I love him and hate him. He betrayed me and yet I still feel drawn to him and I hate myself for it.I resume exerc
I’m led through familiar hallways, back into the Alpha’s office. I suspect he’s going to interrogate me further and that the claim there was a guest here to see me was a lie to get me to come here without fighting. Once I enter the office though, I see my brother at Ryan’s desk. He stands and he doesn’t seem concerned or upset at all. Has our relationship fallen apart so much that he doesn’t even care that I’m a prisoner?As he looks at me, I realize something though. He is upset. But he’s mostly upset with me, and the concern is hidden in an attempt to make this seem much simpler than it is. I’m in for a lecture when I get home.“Getting yourself in trouble again, I see,” Ben says, with the smile I’ve known since we were children. He shakes his head. “I knew you were up to something, Isabel. You can’t fool me, you know. We know each other too well for that.”“I know you’ve been up to something too,” I counter. Maybe now’s not the time, but I won’t let him get away with putting
“Please,” Ben says, with a certain pleading in his voice that I’ve never heard before, “we’re all each other has left. Don’t blame us for what our parents did. They aren’t influences in our life anymore. We aren’t them.”I almost come out of my seat to attack him for that comment. How dare he say something like that about our parents? He’s making it sound like they did something wrong. When I know they haven’t done anything wrong. How could he sell them out like that?The tone of his voice stops me though. Ben is truly worried. He’s vulnerable right now. It wasn’t easy for him to say that. And it’s not easy for me to see my brother like this.So, I don’t say anything. We all sit there and wait for Ryan’s decision. Because this is my fault. I have to trust Ben and what he’s deciding to do to fix this. I’m thankful he’s even here.“Okay,” Ryan says finally. “I’ll let her go with you. I won’t keep her here. But I better not see her around here again.”Ryan turns to me in that command
“I can’t stay here,” I say. “I need to get out of this house.”Ben’s face pales. “I’m sorry,” I continue. “I love you, but I need a break from all of this. It’s too much. I can’t stay here. I need to get away for a little bit.”I run upstairs because I can’t keep looking at this brother I don’t recognize. It hurts being so close to someone only to have things change like that. He’s here, but I’ve lost him. I’ve lost James. I lost my parents and now I realize I didn’t know them fully either.So, where do I go from here? I keep losing people. It seems like I don’t have a place to fit.Then, I realize there’s still someone left, of course. My best friend is the only person who I’m not having so much drama with. And I know she’ll be willing to listen to everything and give me advice.I don’t even know that I need advice right now though. I’m not sure advice could really help me. There’s not much I can do about everything, but the listening part would be nice. And I really do need
“Why don’t you guys eat together and I’ll go up to my room?” Sharon suggests. “There’s plenty there for an extra person. Are you hungry, James?”“Starving,” he admits.“I don’t want to do that to you in your own house though,” I protest.“No need to worry about that,” Sharon says, as she goes into the dining room and grabs her food. “There’s a show I’ve been meaning to catch up on anyway. Don’t mind me.”Sharon grabs her food and leaves while James goes into the kitchen and fixes himself a plate. We sit at the table and face each other as if we aren’t nearly as closely bonded as we are.“Food is a good idea, I guess,” I say. “Better to discuss things while we’re not hangry. But I’m still not sure what needs to be discussed.“I feel like you made yourself clear when you didn’t stand up for me, when you acted like you didn’t even know me when we were in front of your pack.“And I get it’s tough with you being a Beta. That’s why I haven’t pushed it as much before. But when my freed