A CHRISTMAS MISTAKE

NAILA'S POV

His lips moved against mine slowly ㅡ soft and reverent.

My fingers curled into fists by my side for a second before I was wrapping my hands around his neck, pulling him down while my lips moved against his.

“Naila…” he groaned into the kiss, backing me up against the couch, tongue tracing the seam of my lips. “We should talk.”

Talk?

My voice was a breathy whisperㅡ a plea for him never to stop. Not when I finally had him in my arms after so long. “Please, God no. Not now. Just…don't let go of me.”

His teeth grazed over my neck. “Never, Naila. Never again.”

His fingers traced over my ribcage, making me shudder as I arched into his touch.

Remy’s hands were everywhere, tracing under my sweater before he pulled away, arms hooking under my thighs to hoist me up so I could wrap my legs around his waist. “Is this okay?”

The wind raged outside, the sound fading into nothing as I locked gazes with his warm eyes in the dim light. “Yes…” I whispered, pushing my hips into his with a slight roll.

A strangled moan escaped him and I could feel the hard tent in his sweatpants nestled between my thighs and gently rubbing against my clit through my panties.

Pleasure rolled through me with each grind of his hips into mine, my pussy clenching around nothing as I ached for him.

It had been way too long.

Fuck.

“Naila…” he rasped. “If you want me to stop at any point or you regret anything…tell me. Immediately. I'll stop.” His voice sounded strainedㅡ as though he was trying to rein his desire in.

My nails dug into the large expanse of his back, my breathing shaky. “Don't stop.”

Once his lips met mine again, everything seemed to stop. My heart. My brain. Just my body which responded in time to his movements.

Maybe Christmas wasn't going to be that bad.

*****************

Wrong.

I woke up with a splitting headache the next morning, snow gently cascading down outside the windows.

The sheets were rumpled under my fingers and I was naked under the sheets.

Oh my god.

Flashes of last night crawled back into my mind like a bitter memoryㅡ every lash of his tongue against my skin, the way my skin pebbled under the pad of his fingers, my fingers threading into his hair with each gentle stroke accompanied by a grunt or moan.

Fuck.

The realization hit me like a pail of cold water.

I had sex with Remy Sterling.

Oh my fucking…

One last terrible decision for the year was to be expected but not this level of stupid! Jesus, why did I let myself get so carried away?!

I swung my legs off the bed, heart pounding as I grabbed my shirt lying in a neat pile by the side of the bed.

Fuck.

I scrambled to get my clothes, throwing all my clothes back into my box before I scrambled for my phone, scrolling through the several messages from Nadya.

My message later went through.

Wow, what a jolly time it picked to send to her. After I had made a mistake that deserved Oscar of the century.

I moved fast. Throwing clothes and my belongings back into my box with an urgency that should only be reserved for people who were disarming bombs.

I needed to leave.

Leave the cabin. Leave Colorado. Leave the country. Leave the fucking continent if I could.

Just as I was throwing the last of my toiletries into my box, I heard steps approach the roomㅡslow and purposeful.

Oh shit.

“Morning, you seem to have gotten yourself busy.” A low voice rumbled behind me, making me freeze as I turned around.

Remy was leaning on the doorway, shirtless againㅡ of course he wasㅡ and sipping on whatever steaming liquid was in his mug. “I made breakfast…” He muttered, looking me over.

But I wasn't listening. My gaze was fixed on the faint red mark on his neck. I didn't need to be told. I made that mark.

I swallowed back a scream and quickly zipped up my bag. “Iㅡ You didn't have to. I'm leaving.”

That made his pause. Confusion flickered in his warm eyes and he pushed himself off the doorway. “You're leaving the cabin?”

My breath caught in my chest and I knew it wasn't from the cold seeping into the cabin. “No. The country. I'm going back. I can't do this anymore.”

He shifted, looking like someone had smacked him across the face but then his expression schooled into something more neutral. “You're leaving because of last night.”

“I…I just wasn't thinking. I was hormonal or whatever. It was stupid and I kindaㅡ” I fumbled around for my words.

“Naila.”

One word.

My jaw tightened. “I'm saying it shouldn't have happened.”

The look on his face may as well have been one of hurt. Then, he laughedㅡ the sound low and bitter. “Of course, you always do this. You know?”

My stomach dropped. “Do what?”

He turned on his heels, the mug in his hand trembling slightly as he dropped it on the table and shoved his hands into his pockets. “You always fucking walk away, Naila. Always.”

“What does that mean?” I gritted out.

I hated the fact that he was right. After all these years, he was right.

“Don't bother. You can do as you want. You can still have breakfast before you leave. Your choice, Naila.”

Then he walked out of the room.

My heart was thudding loudly in my chest and it felt like someone had twisted a jagged knife into my guts.

Whatever.

We could all just forget this ever happened.

Minutes later, I had dragged my things out, not even bothering to respond to the tiny goodbye he muttered while pretending to focus on breakfast.

Because it was easier this way. Leaving without any attachments. People do this all the time, they have sex with their exes. It's nothing but a stupid mistake.

Wrong.

As soon as I got out, cold slapped against my face but I didn't flinch. I gripped my suitcase even tighter, my heavy coat suddenly feeling too flimsy as I pulled out my phone.

Signal flickered weakly in the corner. Good enough.

I typed out a quick text to Nadya, tears biting at the corner of my eyes as I hailed a taxi to take me back to the airport.

“I slept with Remy, Nadya. I'm coming back today. I can't deal with this anymore. I'm freaking out and I don't know what to do. Please help. I can't do this anymore.”

I hit send and threw my head back against the car seat, a tear rolling down my cheek.

Christmas was ruined.

And it was only morning.