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BETWEEN AND GUILT AND GHOSTS

Penulis: Ella Mart
last update Terakhir Diperbarui: 2025-08-16 14:34:14

XAVIER'S POV

I sat in the driver’s seat for what felt like hours, my hands gripping the steering wheel so tight my knuckles turned pale.

Melissa’s voice was still ringing in my head, raw and sharp like a blade.

Get out. Get the fuck out of my house, Xavier.

Those words replayed on a loop, each repetition cutting deeper. I didn’t even know about her disqualification from the Miss England pageant until she’d thrown it in my face. And now… knowing it was indirectly because of me—it was like someone had punched me in the gut and refused to let go.

I’d never seen Melissa like that before. Broken. Shaking. Eyes swollen from crying, her voice trembling with fury. She’s one of the strongest women I know, and for her to crumble like that… it meant the damage was worse than I’d realized.

The engine was still running, but I wasn’t going anywhere. My thoughts were tangled, knotted so tight I couldn’t pull them apart.

What the hell am I supposed to do now?

I exhaled slowly, forcing myself to thi
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  • BORROWED LOVE ON ICE    AFTER THE FALL

    MELISSA’S POVI was still lying on the floor of my sitting room, very tired, my head pounding as though every nerve was being struck with a hammer. I had been lying there since I banged the door on Xavier, my body refusing to move, my mind replaying everything in endless cycles that only made the ache sharper.At some point, the ache and exhaustion swallowed me whole, and I barely noticed the world around me as sleep tugged me under.When I grudgingly opened my eyes again, the first thing I saw was the clock on the wall.6:56 PM.My heart sank. God, how long have I been here? I had slept through the entire day, cried through it, and wasted it all on pain that didn’t even seem to ease.What a day. What a damn day.I slowly pushed my legs to lift myself off the floor. Everything felt heavy—my arms, my head, my chest. Even breathing carried weight. I stumbled slightly, pressing my palm against the wall for balance, forcing myself forward.I had barely taken five steps when the sharp, pie

  • BORROWED LOVE ON ICE    BETWEEN AND GUILT AND GHOSTS

    XAVIER'S POV I sat in the driver’s seat for what felt like hours, my hands gripping the steering wheel so tight my knuckles turned pale. Melissa’s voice was still ringing in my head, raw and sharp like a blade.Get out. Get the fuck out of my house, Xavier.Those words replayed on a loop, each repetition cutting deeper. I didn’t even know about her disqualification from the Miss England pageant until she’d thrown it in my face. And now… knowing it was indirectly because of me—it was like someone had punched me in the gut and refused to let go.I’d never seen Melissa like that before. Broken. Shaking. Eyes swollen from crying, her voice trembling with fury. She’s one of the strongest women I know, and for her to crumble like that… it meant the damage was worse than I’d realized.The engine was still running, but I wasn’t going anywhere. My thoughts were tangled, knotted so tight I couldn’t pull them apart.What the hell am I supposed to do now?I exhaled slowly, forcing myself to thi

  • BORROWED LOVE ON ICE    GET OUT

    XAVIER’S POV My phone buzzed against the coffee table, and Marco’s name lit up the screen. The second I answered, his voice came through fast, low, and laced with worry.“Xavier, you need to go check on Melissa,” he said. “She’s… she’s not okay. I think she’s drunk.”I froze mid-step, the weight of his words dropping like a stone in my stomach. “What do you mean drunk? What happened?”There was a pause on his end, faint music and muffled chatter bleeding into the line. “I was just on a call with her. She didn't sound okay,” Marco explained. “She sounded—” he hesitated, “—like she’s about to make a hasty decision. I tried to talk to her, but she wouldn’t listen. You’re the only one she might still let in.”I was already pacing, my grip on the phone tightening until my knuckles turned white. “Marco, this is serious. If she’s in that kind of state—”“That’s why I called you,” he cut in, urgency sharpening his tone. “Please, Xavier. Just go.”I didn’t need convincing. My keys were alread

  • BORROWED LOVE ON ICE    SOMETHING TO NUMB THE PAIN

    MELISSA’S POVThe house felt too big. Too quiet. Too empty.I wandered from the couch to the minibar in the corner of my living room, the sound of my own footsteps echoing like I was a stranger in my own space. My cheeks were still damp, my eyes swollen from crying, and my chest ached in that dull, suffocating way that only comes after hours of holding back sobs you couldn’t contain anymore.I stood there for a moment, staring at the bottles lined up neatly like soldiers ready for duty. My fingers hovered over them before settling on one with a label I didn’t even bother reading. All I knew was that it was strong—65% alcohol. The kind of burn that doesn’t just warm your throat, it sears its way down, demanding to be felt.I grabbed a clean glass from the shelf, my hands trembling, and poured it. The smell alone was sharp enough to make my eyes sting again. I lifted it halfway, hesitating.“You know, Mel,” I muttered under my breath, my voice raspy from crying, “you’re a strong girl. Y

  • BORROWED LOVE ON ICE    IT'S OVER

    MELLISA'S POVSUBJECT: DISQUALIFICATION NOTICE – MISS ENGLAND PAGEANT.Dear Ms. Brown,I hope this message finds you well.Following recent developments and careful review by the Miss England Organising Committee, we regret to inform you that your participation in the *Miss England* competition has been formally disqualified, effective immediately.This decision comes as a result of a confirmed breach of the pageant’s code of conduct, specifically relating to the public relationship scandal which has come to light. As outlined in our contestant agreement, all participants are expected to uphold standards of integrity and conduct themselves in a manner that reflects positively on the Miss England title and its values.We understand the personal nature of such matters and do not make this decision lightly. However, as a national titleholder is a public representative of the organisation, we are bound to maintain the standards expected by the public and our stakeholders.We thank you f

  • BORROWED LOVE ON ICE    THE MORNING I STARTED EARLY

    MELISSA’S POVWhat’s all this scandal about?How… how could I possibly be tangled in a mess I wasn’t even involved in? I wasn’t there. I didn’t do anything. I’ve been minding my business, preparing for Miss England, pouring everything into my dream—and yet here I am, watching my name burn on the internet like dry paper.What now?I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I know this—this is not good.Not for me, not for my image, not for everything I’ve built these past years.This mess… this scandal… it has to die down. It has to. I can’t let it breathe long enough to choke me completely.But the comments—God, the comments—They were like knives, stabbing in quick succession.Every new one that popped up was worse than the last.The last video I stumbled across was from some girl with too much makeup and a voice that dripped with fake concern. She tilted her head and smirked into the camera while saying, “Well, if you ask me, she probably slept her way to the top.”I felt my chest tig

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