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| 20 | Game of Secrets
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2025-07-28 01:00:00I perch on the window seat of our assigned bedroom, eyes fixed on the door as I wait for Efrem's return. He left me here with Alek standing guard outside, his usual command to stay put still ringing in my ears. This time though, I have no intention of testing the waters. I will obey.
Things are different here.
One thing is clear: we're not the only guests invited. I overheard Deonta'e telling a guard that the other Ringleaders will arrive tomorrow. At
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I Am Mustafin | 40 | The Ghost of Goodbye
Content Advisory: This chapter contains themes of intense emotional vulnerability, moral conflict, and explicit description involving unhealthy coping mechanisms. Reader discretion is advised.I lie awake in our bed, the silk sheets feeling too cold against my skin. The clock on the nightstand reads well past midnight, each tick seeming to mock my racing thoughts. My fingers keep finding my lips, remembering a kiss I’m trying desperately to forget. The ghost of Tavin’s touch haunts me, making the weight of Efrem’s necklace feel heavier against my throat.I didn’t take it off. I couldn’t. There’s some part of me that thought leaving it on would somehow erase the guilt.It hasn’t.When the bedroom door finally opens, I smell the whiskey before I see him. Efrem moves through the darkness with that casual grace he maintains even when drinking, though tonight his movements seem heavier. The light from the small bedside lamp catches on the glass in his hand—fuller than his usual evening dri
I Am Mustafin | 39 | Rebellion's First Taste: Part 2
The main course arrives—some perfectly prepared fish I can’t bring myself to touch. Efrem’s hand leaves my thigh then to cut into his portion.“And what of the other matter?” Viktor asks, his fork paused halfway to his mouth. “The one we discussed at the last meeting?”Something in Efrem’s posture changes—a subtle shift that carries volumes. “In progress.”In progress? What other matter? Is he talking about Dimitri? Or is it something else entirely?“Progress is good,” Viktor says carefully. “Though time grows short.”There’s something about the careful way they talk about whatever they’re really discussing. My fingers find the pendant at my throat, absently tracing his name as I try to piece together what I’m missing.“Time,” Efrem says, his voice dropping lower, “is a luxury we can’t always afford.” He turns to me then, his eyes carrying that cold distance that’s become so familiar lately. He leans in to my ear, whispering just one word. One word that sounds more chilling than it sh
I Am Mustafin | 38 | In the Shadow of His Will: Part 1
I stand at my closet, staring at rows of dresses that suddenly all feel like costumes. Each one carefully selected to make me look the part of the perfect wife. My fingers trail over silk and chiffon, catching on beading and lace, but nothing feels right.How do you dress for dinner when you’re wearing a collar?Finally, I select a deep blue dress that covers me from neck to knee. The high neckline frames Efrem’s necklace perfectly, making it impossible to miss. I wonder if that was his intention—if he knew I’d have to showcase it tonight.Of course he did. He knows everything.The mirror reflects back a woman I barely recognize sometimes. She looks polished, elegant even. But her eyes hold something wild, something that doesn’t quite fit with the perfect image she’s meant to project. My fingers rise to the pendant at my throat, feeling his name pressed against my skin like a brand.“So you never forget who you belong to.”…As if I ever could… Not when everywhere I turn, everywhere I
I Am Mustafin | 37 | Collared by His Name
The yarn slips through my fingers for what feels like the hundredth time, another failed attempt at what the instruction manual swears is a simple cast-on. I stare at the tangled mess in my lap, fighting the urge to throw the whole thing across the library.Who thought this would be relaxing?But I know why I’m really here, surrounded by books instead of tending my garden or sitting in my usual spots. After yesterday’s incident, I thought it would be best if I hid in here instead. The library is the one place where Tavin doesn’t follow. Where I don’t have to pretend I don’t notice the way his eyes linger or how his voice has changed when he speaks to me.Stop thinking about him.I focus on the manual again, trying to make sense of the diagrams that look nothing like what my hands are producing. The afternoon sun streams through the window beside me, warming the cushioned window seat that’s become my refuge. From here, I can see the grounds below, perfect and pristine as if nothing bad
I Am Mustafin | 36 | Lessons in Rebellion
Dawn creeps through our bedroom windows, painting everything in shades of gray and white. I watch Efrem dress from my place in bed, following the familiar routine of his morning. The careful way he selects his tie, how his fingers work each button. Even wounded, he moves with that fluid grace that first drew my eye.But something’s changed. The space between us feels wider somehow, deeper. Like we’re separated by more than just the few feet of carpet between the bed and where he stands at the mirror.When did we start feeling so far apart?“I’ve been thinking,” I say carefully, testing the morning quiet. “About what happened during the attack.”His hands pause on his tie for just a fraction of a second—so brief I might have missed it if I hadn’t been watching him. But he doesn’t turn, doesn’t acknowledge my words.“I want to learn how to defend myself,” I continue. “How to use a gun, at least. So next time I’m not so…” I swallow hard, remember the helplessness, the terror. “So useless
I Am Mustafin | 35 | Eyes That Shouldn't Linger
Three days since I’ve been home, and Efrem has barely left his office. The house still feels different. Larger somehow, emptier, despite the increased security that loom the grounds but never enter our home.Maybe I should just be grateful I’m here at all.I’m curled in my usual spot on the sofa in the parlor, a book open but unread in my lap. The words blur together, meaningless against the constant replay of gunfire and fear in my mind. Even here, in broad daylight, surrounded by pristine evidence of my survival, I can’t shake the feeling that everything could shatter again at any moment.I hear the parlor door slide open, Tavin emerging into the room. “Miss Alaki. Miss Anastasiya is here to see you.”Anastasiya?Something in his tone makes me look up—a softness I have yet to get used to. But when our eyes meet, he quickly looks away. His fingers adjust his cuffs, a tell I’ve started noticing more lately, though I try to pretend I haven’t.Stop cataloging every gesture. He’s the sam
I Am Mustafin | 33 | A Calculated Power Play
I'm speechless.The woman staring back at me in the mirror is a stranger. Classic acrylic white French tips make my hands unrecognizable, and the lovely fragrance behind my ears seems to overpower my natural scent entirely. Between the makeup highlighting my features and the beautiful baby
Terakhir Diperbarui : 2026-04-05I Am Mustafin | 31 | A Fragile Promise
For someone who feels shame as acutely as I do, this may very well be the worst thing that could have happened to me. I made a fool of myself, and now I can't bring myself to look Efrem in the eye.The events of that day, a month ago, play on an endless loop in my mind.Despite the
Terakhir Diperbarui : 2026-04-03I Am Mustafin | 30 | Righteous Punishment
Thunder cracks overhead, a fitting backdrop to the storm warring inside me. I perch precariously on the balcony railing, my legs dangling over the edge. Raindrops cling to my skin like broken promises, each one a cold reminder of my reality.I am wrong.The thought echoes through my mind, a mantra
Terakhir Diperbarui : 2026-04-02I Am Mustafin | 29 | A Fine Line
My eyes flutter open as I inhale deeply, the comfort and warmth of the bed still embracing me. I shift to my back, turning to find the other side of the bed empty.He's gone?I sit up, briefly scanning the room before averting my gaze to the bottom of the closed bathroom door. The light is off. I'm
Terakhir Diperbarui : 2026-04-01
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