Pretend we are ok

Kiki

—-

I didn’t see the need to prove myself innocent to anyone. Not Dan. Not his mother. Not this pack that loved drama more than truth.

What was the point?

There was nothing left to save.

Because that man… that man standing in that hospital room, doubting me, believing his mother over me…

That was not my Dan.

My Dan had sense.

My Dan thought before he spoke.

My Dan would never look at me with suspicion.

My Dan would never treat me like an inconvenience he needed to sweep aside.

So whatever bond snapped inside him when he marked Rita, whatever spark or goddess-kissed bullshit rewired his head… it wasn’t my problem anymore.

Two full days passed.

Two long, quiet, heavy days.

Days of trying to breathe with a chest that felt crushed.

Days of lying in that hospital bed staring at the ceiling, trying not to picture small hands and little feet and soft cries that would never come.

I wasn’t healing. I was surviving.

Barely.

But today… the person my sister sent would arrive.

Someone she trusted.

Someone who apparently “couldn’t sit still after hearing what happened.”

I didn’t even bother asking more. I was too tired to wonder, too tired to feel.

Tia helped with the discharge papers, fussed over me like I was breakable glass, then drove me home because my legs didn’t feel like mine yet.

And the moment I stepped inside…

I froze.

Because sitting… no, throned… on my cushion like she owned the place…

Was Rita.

Her legs crossed like she was posing for an ugly magazine cover.

Her now little swollen stomach on display beneath a pale silk dress.

Her hair curled.

Her lips glossed.

Her posture smug in a way only someone protected by destiny could manage, she look nothing like the pale and frightened girl I meet in Dan’s arm.

I forgot how to breathe. My hands curled then my vision narrowed to a thin, sharp line.

This place used to be my home.

My safe space.

My warmth.

And now she sat there like the queen of a kingdom built on my bones.

Her eyes lifted slowly.

As if I was the intruder.

As if she didn’t shatter my life two days ago.

“Oh,” she said softly, with the fakest smile I’ve ever seen. “You’re back.”

Something in me snapped so quietly it felt like silk tearing.

I stepped inside, my voice calm, steady, tired but sharp.

“Get up,” I said. “Now.”

Because this?

This right here?

Nah.

Even I had limits.

Stop, Kiki… just stop. I suddenly told myself.

That was the voice in my head the moment I told her to get up, because the truth washed over me in one long, heavy wave that refused to slow down or break apart for air. This place was no longer mine, and clinging to it only made me look like someone wandering through an old dream that didn’t fit anymore. I wasn’t staying, and I wasn’t about to waste whatever little strength I had left trying to claim a space already soaked with another woman’s scent, another woman’s laughter, another woman’s mark stamped all over the life I used to call home.

There was nothing left to fight for, because the version of me who once believed this house would always be my safe place died the moment my babies did. I felt no urge to shout, argue, explain, or demand respect from someone who lived off pity and plots. The argument wasn’t worth it, and neither was the hurt she hoped to see on my face.

I took a slow breath that stretched deep into my bones and shook my head, almost tired of my own voice by that point. “You know what… forget it. Forget I even said anything.”

Rita blinked at me, as if I had stepped off the script she was relying on. Her mouth twitched, probably reaching for some trembling, pitiful line, but I didn’t care enough to let her speak. I walked past her with the kind of calm that felt like a closing door, refusing to look at her or acknowledge the desperation she wrapped herself in.

The stairs felt longer than usual, each step tugging at memories I didn’t want anymore. Every wall carried a moment. Every picture frame held a reminder. Every corner whispered something about the woman I used to be when I still believed love could protect me from destiny. I hated that it still hurt, even when I knew I should be numb by now.

In the bedroom, I pulled out my suitcase that have already packed before but someone obviously unpack it. I started packing in a slow, steady rhythm because keeping my hands busy was the only thing stopping my chest from collapsing in on itself. Clothes went in first, then shoes, then the keepsakes that were small enough to fit in the pockets of my bag. My fingers hesitated when they reached the tiny baby socks I’d bought in secret a year back, still wrapped in tissue, untouched and full of dreams that never got a chance to breathe. I folded them carefully and tucked them at the bottom of the suitcase where the sight of them wouldn’t break me again.

My throat tightened, but I kept packing because stopping meant thinking, and thinking always led back to the same ache that refused to fade. I was leaving today, and maybe I’d fall apart later, somewhere safe, somewhere far away from this place where every tear felt like a victory for someone else. Right now, I needed to keep moving.

The bedroom door opened behind me with a suddenness that sent a shiver up my spine. I didn’t turn around. I didn’t even want to know who it was until I felt it the warmth of familiar arms slipping around my waist from behind, pulling me back gently but firmly against a body I had once trusted without question. His scent wrapped around me before his voice did, and for one awful moment my heart recognized him faster than my mind wanted to.

Dan pressed his face into the curve of my neck as if he had been starving for the space where his breath touched my skin. His voice came out low, cracked, almost desperate, as though he had been waiting for a moment that never arrived.

“Gosh… I missed you, baby.”

And just like that, something deep inside me twisted, stretched, and ached in a way I wished I could numb forever.

I shoved him off so hard he staggered.

I stared at him like he’d lost his entire mind.

Dan reached for me again.

“Kiki… baby…”

“Don’t,” i snapped, stepping out of reach. “Don’t touch me. Don’t call me that. What exactly is wrong with you. Why are you acting like everything is fine.”

He tried to move closer. “I just… I missed you.”

I laughed, sharp and disbelieving. “You missed me. Dan, you treated me like a stranger you hated. You believed everyone but me. And now you want to hug me like we’re good. What fantasy are you living in.”

His breath hitched. “I know I messed up. I know I hurt you. But please… listen to me.”

“No,” i said, my voice steady, even though my chest ached. “I’m done listening to you twist everything. I’m packing, and I’m leaving.”

He stepped into my path, panic finally flashing across his face.

“Kiki, wait… please. Just for today… can you pretend everything is normal between us.”

I blinked at him, stunned. “Are you insane. After everything you did, you want me to act like your loving wife.” What the fuck is wrong with him…? If he needs a pretend Luna… isn’t his beloved down there stairs..?

He pressed a hand to his face, voice cracking. “The Alpha King and some of our pack elders… they’re a minute away. If they walk in and see us unhappy, it’ll be bad. For me. For the pack. For everything.”