Tush over Teakettle

-Jacey-

I tried not to laugh at Caleb when he went thigh deep into the water. I really tried.

But when he also managed to trip over a large rock and land right on his ass, I couldn’t stop a hearty guffaw from escaping me. It wasn’t ladylike in the slightest. But it was honest.

Luckily, Jeanie and my father were also laughing.

“Gonna be a cold trip to camp for you,” my father chuckled, holding out a hand to Caleb to haul him back to his feet.

“I’ll go change,” Caleb muttered and dug his tennis shoes into the loose sand beneath him, coming out of the water with a sucking sound at his feet.

“Don’t forget your boots this time!” my father called.

It was September in Ontario, and we were several hours north of Thunder Bay. Today, it was about seventy degrees, but that wouldn’t mean a thing once we were out on the open water. Caleb would be freezing in wind-whipped, wet clothes.

Caleb had a few choice words for my father that he said under his breath as he passed me, but I certainly wasn’t going to tell Dad. He was so angry, in fact, that he grabbed my father’s pack instead of his own as he marched off into the woods.

I could hardly blame him. They were both blue.

Jeanie didn’t notice, but my father had a knowing expression on his face and was chortling to himself.

I sighed, and while Jeanie and my father began loading up the boat and the canoe with our gear, I grabbed Caleb’s pack and went to find him.

“Caleb!” I called, walking carefully over thin fallen birch trees and through knee-high green weeds. “Caleb, you took the wrong—”

Whatever else I’d been about to say lodged itself in my throat. Caleb Killeen, the unwelcome rogue of every wet dream I’d ever had, was standing, naked, between two thin pines.

I saw him in profile, which meant I got an eyeful of not only a hard, toned ass, but also toned abs, a strong back, wide shoulders, and muscular arms and legs. I could even see his... well... IT. He seemed rather well-endowed in that department, but then, I’d never seen one up close and personal. All I had to go on was a secret dare visit my friends and I took to Sex World once.

It took me a good two minutes to realize Caleb had seen me. He folded his arms over his chest and turned to face me, still in nothing but his birthday suit.

“Need something, Jocelyn?” Caleb asked me.

Oh, did I. Heat pooled between my legs as I tried very, very hard to raise my eyes somewhere above his waist. “I...”

“You know, our parents aren’t more than ten yards away. You really want to do this here and now?” Caleb went on, his voice sultry in a way I’d never heard it before.

“Do... what?” I asked, finally managing to peel my eyes off his pecs and meet his gaze.

Caleb gave me a slow smile. “Let’s not play games, Jocelyn. You came out here hoping for something. Did you get your fill, or were you hoping for... more?”

I didn’t know my jaw was hanging open until I had to use it to form more words. “Dad’s... pack... not... yours...” I stuttered.

Apparently, Caleb hadn’t been expecting that. “Pardon?”

I slung Caleb’s pack off my shoulder and held it at arm’s length, though my arm was shaking. I told myself it was because the pack was heavy.

“You... you have... Dad’s... pack,” I tried again, squeezing my eyes closed.

Caleb was silent for a moment. Then there was a rummaging sound. “Shit!”

I didn’t move. I didn’t dare open my eyes. It didn’t matter, anyway. Caleb’s naked body would forever be seared to the back of my eyelids.

More rummaging and a few swear words later, and a wet splat-splat sound began approaching me.

Warmth radiated from Caleb’s body and his breath fanned the whisps of hair that had escaped my braid. His strong hand covered mine and pried his pack loose from my fingers.

“You can open your eyes, Jocelyn. I’m not naked,” Caleb said quietly.

I peeked one eye open, then the other. “S-Sorry. Really was just trying to help.”

“I know,” Caleb replied. “And I’m sorry. I thought you were here for... something else.”

As his blue eyes bored into my green ones, I felt my stomach do a flip-flop. “Like what?” I whispered.

Caleb’s eyes dropped to my lips, his hand reaching out to play with the end of my braid. “Go back to the landing.”

His voice was gravelly. I’d have called it tortured, if I had to guess, but no man had ever spoken to me with that tone before. “But—”

“Go back to the landing, Jocelyn!” Caleb barked, dropping my braid as though it had burned him.

I stumbled over my own boots, backpedaling away from him. “Sorry!” I said. “Sorry, sorry!”

Even as I made my hasty retreat, I turned around and saw Caleb walking back over to my father’s pack with his slung over his shoulder. He was wearing his wet boxers from his tumble into the lake, and the gray cotton left nothing to the imagination.

When I got back to the landing, I was flustered and confused as hell. What exactly had Caleb been trying to do? Why did he think I was there in the first place? What the hell was going on?

“Sunburnt already?” Jeanie clucked when she saw me coming out of the brush. She reached into a bag she’d kept with her in the car and took out some sunscreen. “You can never be too careful.” Jeanie popped open the top and began dabbing some on my face.

“It’s fine. I just wanted to give Caleb his bag so he could get changed,” I said in a rush. Though I did let her mother-hen me a little more, since it made her happy.

“You brought him his bag?” my father asked, sounding as though I’d canceled Christmas.

I frowned at him around Jeanie’s shoulder. “Of course I did! Did you want him walking back here naked?”

“He wouldn’t have walked back here naked. Just a little less GQ,” my father huffed.

Jeanie finished rubbing the sunscreen into my skin. “Hank Collins, did you send my son off into the woods with your clothes? He won’t be able to fit into them!” She patted my arm. “You’re such a love, Jacey, taking care of your brother that way.”

“Taking care of your brother what way?” Caleb asked, sauntering back toward us as though I hadn’t just seen him naked and he hadn’t... hadn’t...

Hadn’t what? Thrown himself at me? I doubted that.

“Well, it seems Hank here was hoping you’d come back here in some ratty camo pants and a ‘Gone Fishin’’ T-shirt,” Jeanie explained, her eyes still admonishing her husband. “Forgetting, of course, that his pants will fall off you, and his shirt will be like Saran Wrap.”

“Yeah,” Caleb agreed. “If it weren’t for Jocelyn, I might have ended up exposing myself to innocent young eyes.”

I took several deep breaths to stop myself from going even more red. I was pretty sure Jeanie had eucalyptus in that bag, too.

“I suppose,” my father grumped. “But it would have been damn funny.”

“I think you and I have different definitions—” Caleb began.

“Why don’t we finish packing up the boats, yes?” Jeanie cut in quickly before the two men could fight.

For some reason, my father always seemed to rub Caleb the wrong way. I helped Jeanie keep the peace by trotting over to grab the boxed kerosene lanterns and hurrying to the boats. Jeanie grabbed her go-bag with all the remedies in it and a box of rope.

Caleb and my father eyeballed each other for a moment then went to load the coolers and gas cans before we started layering tents and packs and other gear over them. My father got the motors ready on the boat and the canoe while Caleb went and parked the Suburban in a clearing just off the logging road.

“Boy needs to get a sense of humor,” my father complained to Jeanie.

“He’s just under a lot of pressure, honey bear,” Jeanie replied. “I’m sure he’ll come around. This will be a fantastic vacation.”

Once the boats were packed, I hopped in the back of the canoe, assuming I’d be running the motor.

“No, Jacey, I’m going to need you up front to direct Caleb,” my father said. “Let the menfolk take the boats through.”

“But... Dad, there are rapids. Has Caleb ever even run a motor before?” I asked.

My father frowned at me. “I don’t remember ever letting you shoot the rapids. Caleb’s a grown man. He’ll figure it out.”

I looked helplessly at Jeanie, but she only shrugged. It seemed I was outnumbered.

Or maybe I wasn’t. “I don’t see any reason why Jocelyn can’t run the motor,” Caleb said.

“You gonna tell me now that you’ve never run a motor before?” my father scoffed.

Caleb’s nostrils flared. “I have. On a speedboat.”

“This’ll be easy by comparison. Come on, hop on. Jacey will push you off,” my father ordered.

“It’s okay,” I told Caleb quickly. “Just do as he says.” I didn’t want there to be a fight. Not right at the beginning of our trip.

“It’s really not okay.” Caleb took a step toward my father’s boat.

I put a hand on one corded arm. “Please.”

Caleb looked down at me for a long time. Then he turned and crawled into the canoe, making his way back to the motor that had been attached to the flat end.

I untied the canoe and shoved us off. “You can pull the string now,” I said when I determined we were far enough away from shore. “The motor blade shouldn’t hit anything this far out.”

Caleb nodded and began tugging at the cord.

My father had shoved his boat off himself, with Jeanie sitting pretty as a princess and giggling in the middle. He kissed his wife as he basically crawled right over her to get to the motor. He got their motor going in one swift pull, then sat back to gloat while Caleb had to pull several times and still couldn’t get ours going.

“He’s enjoying this,” Caleb grunted so only I could hear.

I sighed. “Probably. Okay, Caleb, this could be one of three things. One, you might not be giving the rope a strong enough pull. Two, the engine could be flooded. Or, three, there isn’t enough gas squeezed in there to get it to turn over. Try squeezing that bulb two or three times.”

Caleb raked his hand angrily over his hair and did as I said, squeezing the bulb. He pulled the rope again. This time, the engine turned over, and the motor buzzed happily.

“He should have let you drive the boat,” Caleb gritted out.

“It’s okay,” I said again. “Great learning opportunity for you.”

My father laughed and clapped his hands. “Great job, Caleb! See, Jacey, I told you he’d get the hang of it. Now, follow me! When I go to the left or right, you go to the left or right. When I slow down, you slow down. Got it? There are rocks like giants’ teeth all over this lake, but I’ve been up here often enough to know where they are.”

“Fine,” Caleb said.

My father shook his head and muttered something to Jeanie, who threw a pleading look our way when my father wasn’t looking.

“Let’s just try to make this work for your mom’s sake, all right?” I shouted over the sound of our motor as Caleb engaged the throttle and had us speeding across the lake after my father.

Caleb shook his head at me. “Gosh, Jocelyn, you’d think it was our parents’ honeymoon and not your eighteenth birthday. I don’t know why you put up with his shit.”

I winced and bowed my head, pulling the brim of my baseball cap lower over my eyes.

“Shit,” Caleb said, just loud enough to be heard over the motor. “Shit, Jocelyn, I’m sorry. I’m doing everything wrong. It’s not your fault your dad can be a huge prick.”

“How about you just concentrate on not hitting that big rock there, and we’ll just talk if we have to,” I replied before lapsing into silence, keeping my head down so Caleb could see in front of him.

To his credit, Caleb left me alone after that. My father, doing a little showboating with his more powerful motor, stayed impossibly far ahead of us, stopping here and there and waiting for us to catch up.

I could almost see the steam coming out of Caleb’s ears.

“Wanted to make sure you didn’t get lost back there,” my father chuckled as he bobbed about ten yards away from the rapids.

“Jocelyn is a great navigator,” Caleb said. “We didn’t have any problems. Even though you made it a little hard to follow you, seeing as you gave us the smaller motor.”

I sat up and dug my nails into Caleb’s knee.

My father’s expression soured. “Boy, you take the fun out of everything.”

Caleb ignored my nails. “Well, you’re the one who kept saying how dangerous this lake is, and then went buzzing off two miles ahead of u—”

“So, Dad, why don’t you explain to Caleb about the rapids?” I interrupted.

Jeanie gave me a grateful look.

My father grumbled a bit, then squared his shoulders and launched into an explanation of the rapids. “You see where that rock is right there? With the water running over it? You aim straight for it. Also, unlock the motor so it bounces. If the motor’s locked, you might lose a propeller, and then you’re screwed.”

“Fine,” Caleb replied through gritted teeth.

“We’re lucky. Water’s high enough that we don’t have to pull the boats through; we can just motor through,” my father continued. “Jacey, you take a paddle and push off the rocks if you need to.”

I already had a paddle in my hand.

“Now, follow me!” My father carefully navigated his boat against and through the rapids.

It was a good thing they went through without incident because it didn’t look as though Jeanie would know what to do with a paddle.

I looked back at Caleb. “Our turn.”

“Joy.” Caleb took a deep breath and went the way my father had gone—only a little too far to the right.

“Oh crap!” I yelped as the water caught us and sent us spinning sideways.