2/ A Broken Connection

Janiya’s Perspective

“There’s one thing I know about Janiya: she desires stability and a good life. The girl has been raised so poorly, seeing her mother struggle to make ends meet. Man, all she knows is poverty. So, at the end of the day, even if I don’t marry her, I think she’ll be happy if I provide her with nice things and a good lifestyle. She’ll be content. And besides that, the girl is really into me. She knows what I can offer her career-wise and personally, if you know what I mean,” he cockily chuckled.

“I don’t know Dean, I never got the impression Janiya is some gold digger.”

“No, that’s not what I’m saying. My baby isn’t a gold digger. But she wants to live a good life, and who wouldn’t?

I was left not only in shock but also speechless, easing away from his office door. Little did they know that I had heard their whole conversation. Dean’s words made me feel things I had never felt before: used, cheap, unworthy. It was so disappointing. After overhearing Dean's thoughts and feelings, I was left shaken.

I was so emotionally upset, trembling from head to toe. Outside his office door wasn't the place to fall apart, but once I made it to my office, I couldn’t hold back the tears; I broke down. Everything was going wrong. “How could this be happening to me. I was told to pick a good, responsible man, and I thought I did. So, what did I do wrong? Am I chained to heartbreak? My heart was pounding for different reasons. I was painfully hurt, then I began to feel angry, very angry, through my sobbing, and that painful lump in my throat, I yelled out.

“That jerk! Who does he think he is?"

Why didn’t I see this coming? Had I ignored all the red flags? I promise I never saw it coming. But, as usual, here’s another man who’s lied and tried to deceive me. I should have known all his sweet words were fake! He was too good to be true.

I wiped my tears, determined not to be one of those girls who just sat back and let themselves be used. But right now, I’m unable to think or focus, so I left work. I couldn’t even drive away; my hands were shaking uncontrollably. So, I sat in my car. I needed to talk to someone who could help me get a hold of my senses and reason with me before I did something I would probably regret later. I picked up my phone and called my best friend, Elisa.

“Elisa, you are not going to believe this,” I uttered, barely able to speak.

“Janiya, what is it? Are you okay?” Elisa asked, hearing the pain in my voice, she could tell I was on the verge of tears.

“No, Elisa. I’m not okay. I overheard Dean telling his business partner, Franklin, that he was going to marry some girl named Brooklyn, not me. All this time, I thought he was on a business trip, and this good-for-nothing man was out getting engaged to someone else! Why does this keep happening to me? I know I may be young, but I’m not stupid! Is it wrong to want to be loved? Elisa, is what I want just a fairytale? Am I truly a hopeless romantic?” I inquired, painfully sobbing.

“Oh dear, I’m so sorry. It’s not you. It’s him.”

Elisa, I’m done with being a nice girl. Why should he be the one to walk away Scott-free without a broken heart? If I’m going to suffer, so should he.”

“Janiya, it’s awful what he has done to you. He’s a complete jerk! You should find out what kind of man he is before marrying someone like that. You know I’ve been in this situation before, and I'm so sorry it's happening to you. It’s his loss, and it’s best this way; it gives you a second chance at finding true love.”

“Right now, I can’t think about a second or third chance. What should I do? I just don’t think it’s fair. I get to feel hurt like this, and he gets to walk around having his cake and eating it, too. And he had the nerve to imply I was a gold digger, Elisa. I work hard for everything I have accomplished!”

“No, he didn’t!” Elisa exclaimed, surprised. End things with him right now! Break it off with him first. At least this way you keep your dignity and pride.”

“He doesn’t know that I know, and it’s time I give him a taste of his own medicine.”

“Wait, wait a minute, Janiya. What do you mean, you are going to give him a taste of his own medicine? Girl, you are so daring.”

“No, men are the ones who’re daring! But I got to do something. It's high time for me to be strong and let him know I’m not some toy he can play around with.

“Janiya…What is going on in that head of yours? Please don’t tell me you are thinking about slicing his car tires, or worse, keying his car.”

“I don't know exactly yet. But it's high time I made some changes! I will call you later once I map it all out in my mind.”

"Alright, be careful. And calm down. I know that isn’t what you want to hear right now. But don’t let your emotions control you."

“Don’t worry, I won’t do him any physical harm, I promise.”

I took a few days off to regroup. I’m so consumed with his betrayal. I want to get him back, make him feel pain, something he inflicts on others as if they are nothing. I refuse to go through this heartbreak all alone. I’ve been reflecting a lot on my relationship with Dean. For the past few months, he’s been going on and on about how he has been having this one fantasy about me and him getting into roleplaying. I thought it might be something exciting to do after we got married to keep things spicy. But now that I know marriage is never going to happen. Well, I think it’s high time I made his dreams come true. Ooh! I’m so glad I didn’t do this earlier. I had to get my mind ready to go into character for my roleplay event. I sat up in bed as my wheels began turning, thinking of all the ways I was going to make him regret doing this to me.

My phone rang. It was Dean.

“Hey, baby, I wanted to know if I could see you tonight.

“Uhm... Tonight isn't good for me, can you come over Saturday night?”

"Sure, baby, it’s going to be hard to wait. But the harder the better, right?” He said, chuckling.

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, you know how I like it,” I replied, getting into my role of pretending.

“I miss not seeing you all week. I can't wait until we get together."

"Oh, Dean, you're such a sweet man. I have a special treat for you this weekend."

"Really, okay. Love you, Janiya."

"I'll see you soon."

The next few days, when he called me, as difficult as it was, I had to carry on as usual, not letting on that I knew anything about his plans to marry this other woman. I was about to do something he wouldn’t expect me ever to do; I wanted it to be something that would make him think twice before cheating on someone else. I feel nervous because I have never done anything like this before, but I have to pull it off.

Saturday evening couldn’t come soon enough. Every minute felt stretched tight like a rubber band, and my thoughts about what I was planning to do were sharper than the thin edge of a knife. But my plan was still half-formed, tangled with nerves and the raw ache of betrayal. I paced my apartment, rehearsing lines I wasn’t sure I’d say, wondering if I’d ever be ready to face Dean with the truth I carried.

I practiced from the time he would knock at my door. I needed my heart to stop banging against my ribcage. I wanted to smile at him and act as if nothing had changed. I didn’t want to falter by letting my anger and heartbreak spill out, and I ended up slapping him across the face. So, I had to swallow it down and get ready to slip into the role he thought I’d always play.

I realized the story wasn’t finished, not for him, and not for me.

And whatever came next, I knew a man like him who thinks he is so clever and full of himself would never see what I was about to do to him coming.