I could hear a calm conversation as I approached the dining hall.
As I got closer, one of the guards quickly asked, “Shall we announce you, Your Highness?”
“There’s no need for that,” I replied as I opened the door without warning.
My family was quick to look in my direction. My sudden entrance immediately put them all to silence. Their eyes widened out of surprise, their movements paused. If this was the kind of response that I got every time I entered a room, bursting through doors would be a delight.
Like any other feast, Mother was the first to approach me. “Hello, Mother,” I greeted as I gave her a kiss on the forehead.
She giggled in response. “Hello, my heart,” she cupped my face with one hand, looking up to meet my gaze.
“Dearest Elizabeth,” I smiled as I turned to my sister, laying a gentle peck on her cheek.
“Hello, little brother,” she smiled.
I wasn’t quick to notice it at first, but there were no spare chairs in between Mother and Elizabeth, which was the place where I usually sat. “So, where do I sit?” I asked them, still carrying a smile on my face.
“Right next to your father,” Mother replied, pointing to a prepared meal in front of her that sat on the right side of James.
Splendid!
Just the opposite of what I wanted to happen for today’s lunch. I now had to bear a whole hour of suffering beside him. I took a deep breath in as I walked towards my seat. As soon as I reached it, I pulled my chair and immediately sat down.
“You didn’t come with us to visit the orphanage,” James started as he cut through his meat.
“Yes, I made that decision,” I replied, spreading my napkin onto my lap. I grabbed my utensils after.
“May I ask where you have been?”
“I was just in the garden. I needed some time alone after a long hour of work,” I answered, digging into the food that was prepared for me.
“I asked Gonzalo where you were and he said you weren’t within the castle grounds,” he said before he took another bite.
‘Oh, here we go,’ I thought to myself. I tried to ignore him in order to appreciate the delicious meal right in front of me. I thought it was going to be absolute silence between the two of us. But, he just had to start another confrontation for the both of us.
“Tell me where you really were while we’re gone,” he said, turning his body completely to my direction.
I took two quick bites from my plate. “My whereabouts when you’re not here is none of your business.”
“I command you to–”
“Don’t ‘command’ me,” I interrupted him, looking him straight in the eye. “You have no right to do so. I’m not one of your servants.”
He protested without hesitation. “I have the right to ask where you’re planning to go. I am your father.”
I chuckled as I took a sip of wine. “Since you say that you’re my father, the manner of how you tell me what to do is like I’m one of your workers. That’s not how a father should ask his child if he’s truly concerned,” I said, struggling to even make a simple slice from my steamed fish. My hands shook as I held back my rage within me. I even controlled my breathing because I didn’t want to let out long and deep sighs, similar to a raging bull.
Silence came upon us once more. To join our family meals was horrible enough. What made it worse was the fact that they forced me to sit beside James. Mother and Elizabeth were fully aware of my terrible relationship with James. Why would they continue to push me towards him when clearly, he didn’t want me around him?
James then sighed. “Son, I’m doing my best to build a connection with you, to understand you,” he said, a bit irritated still. He added, “This never-ending argument between us both will never be good for the family.”
“Well, I guess you will need to try harder, Your Majesty,” I replied, stuffing more food into my already-filled mouth. I continued, “And please, don’t call me your ‘son’. You are the one who pushed us away as your children.”
Those words came out of my mouth like poison. I didn’t care if it stung. But, for some reason, I hated myself for even allowing those words to escape my lips. However, that was the truth about how he treated us. And now, all of a sudden, he wanted to act as if he has always been a good father to Elizabeth and me?
I sensed Mother and Elizabeth, looking at me in shock. But James needed to hear it. He never showed us any sort of affection as he claimed that he wanted for us to be independent. He wanted us to be prepared in case he would die suddenly. He should’ve made the effort to connect with me as a child. I needed him before but he was never there for me.
I wiped my mouth clean as I took one last bite. “That is all for me today,” I said, pushing my plate away. I didn’t want to continue eating. I lost my appetite.
“Robert, please,” Mother pleaded gently.
“I’ve eaten enough today, Mother. I still have some reports to finish,” I replied formally. “If you need anything from me, I’ll be in my study.” With that, I pushed my chair and stepped out. After my farewell bow, I left the dining hall as they all sat there in silence.
~*~*~*~
Even though I was working through a pile of reports that remained on my desk, my mind was somewhere else. I felt myself swimming inside my own mind, drowning in a deep ocean of endless thoughts. I contemplated what I just did a while ago.
I was fully-aware that to answer a parent - yes, I still counted James as a parent - was the perfect example of what it meant to be a horrible child. But in my defence, how could you stand someone who talked down to you? He acted as if he knew me when he didn’t. He never took the time to get to know me when I was young. How dare he pretend that he knew me from the inside out?
A knock on my door startled me, making me jump from my seat.
“Who is it?” I replied, not lifting my attention from the report I was reading.
The door opened, and my page entered with a bow. “Your Highness, Her Royal Majesty is here to see you.”
Hearing my mother’s title made me look up. “Please, let her in,” I quickly organised my desk as he fetched for my mother.
I dusted off my clothes as I stood up, preparing myself to greet her.
A few seconds later, Mother finally entered, closing the door as she fully came into the room.
“Mother,” I kissed her cheek as we reached each other. I gestured to the chair by the window. She nodded and we walked towards the said spot.
“Why did you have to do that, Robert?” she asked, calm yet concerned.
I groaned on the inside. I knew she was going to talk about what I just did. First, it was Elizabeth. Now, Mother was the one to lecture me. Why would she and Elizabeth stand up for James? I never understood how they could defend him constantly.
“I don’t understand what you’re talking about,” I replied as I sat across from her.
“Your father was trying his best to make a connection with you a while ago,” she said. I couldn’t fathom the fact that Mother believed what James said. She asked, “Why did you have to treat him with so much coldness?”
I sighed as I looked down to my feet. “Mother, if he’s claiming that he’s making a connection with me, forgive me but I don’t see it. I can’t feel that he is even trying,” I reasoned.
“It’s because you never gave him a chance,” she bent closer towards me. “You always close your door on him.”
“Mother, he was given multiple chances back when I was a child. For almost half of my life, I was giving him chance after chance, just to prove himself to me. And yet, he failed me,” I explained.
She then put her hand on mine. “You may not believe this, but your father loves you very much, my son. You don’t know how much you mean to him,” she said as her thumb caressed my hand, comforting me. “Please, give him another chance.”
As much as I loved my mother, and I didn’t have the power to refuse her, I couldn’t give James another chance. Another chance would mean another opportunity to disappoint me. Yes, it was indeed too much to ask from me because he had numerous occasions in the past to prove himself as a father. He never took those chances.
Another knock came upon my door. “Who is it?” I said, turning to the door.
The door opened and Gonzalo entered. “Your Highness. Your Majesty,” he bowed to the both of us. Turning to me, he continued, “Princess Lorain has sent a letter for you.”
I nodded. “Do you have the letter with you?”
“I have your page hold onto it while you speak with Her Majesty,” he replied.
“Thank you. You may leave,” I said.
He took another bow and left.
“Mother,” I said as I stood from my seat, “I must respond to the princess’ letter.”
“Of course,” she smiled as she stood as well. She continued, “Promise me that you’ll think about what I said.”
“Yes, Mother. Anything for you,” I smiled, kissing her hand afterwards.
She laid a gentle peck on my forehead after she wrapped me in a warm embrace. And with a smile, she gracefully left my study.
“Page?” I called out as I returned to my desk.
My page entered, carrying a silver platter on his hand that had the letter on it. He put it in front of me as I sat down.
“Thank you,” I said.
He took his bow and left the room silently as if he had no feet.
As the door closed behind him, I put the tray aside and proceeded with the report I was in the middle of before Mother’s arrival.
Princess Lorain was the princess of the Kingdom of Middle Earth. She was my fiancée. As we were not allowed to personally meet each other, we were permitted to send letters to one another to build some sort of connection. And in her letters, she seemed to be a gentle woman. And she would tell me all of her thoughts. She never held back anything from me. We had become each other’s support through the chaotic world of monarchy. Given that I had a difficult relationship with James, she had the same but with her mother. Princess Lorain and I became good friends over the past years that we communicated. She was always respectful of my space, as well with some matters that I decided to keep private. With care, I opened her letter and it read, “A good day to you, Your Highness! “I trust that you are having a better month than I am. There was no sign of anything good or new with my life, much less with my relationship with my mother. “She had put additional pressure on me to be the pe
I was occupied in preparing Lady for another stroll to the Mortal Realm. Suddenly, a hand attached itself onto my arm. I looked and saw Mallory. Her eyes were puffed and almost red. She could have cried for a long time. I sighed as I shook my head. “Mallory, I don’t have time to do this with you. I have to be somewhere else right now,” I complained. “I beg of you, Robert, give me a chance to be with you,” she pleaded. She continued, “Grant me a chance to prove to you that I can love you more than any woman can. Let me prove myself to you.” “You already have, Mallory. You have proven yourself to be a good friend and sister to me. Let that be the end of this matter,” I replied, slowly removing her hand from my arm. As soon as I got her hand off, she clung onto my arm with both hands. “Mallory, don’t you feel sorry for yourself?” I continued, completely irritated. “Do you want for me to paint a picture of how desperate you look right now?” “I don’t care what I look like, Robert,” she
Lady and I finally arrived in Bullingar, and the streets were busier than before. Perhaps, because it was already afternoon, people might be buying what they needed at the very last minute. I was looking around when a specific voice caused my head to turn. Right then and there, a familiar face stood out from the crowd. I got off Lady and walked towards her whilst I pulled Lady along. “How much for the apples?” Laura asked the vendor as I stood behind her, keeping my silence. “Twenty gold coins for a barrel,” the vendor replied. “Twenty gold pieces?! That’s outrageous!” Laura exclaimed. “I understand that it isn’t a reasonable price. But for the past few days, trade has been made a lot harder for everyone,” the vendor snapped back. “Are you even a rich person to complain?” “I am,” I intervened. Laura immediately turned around. As soon as she saw me, her eyes widened in shock. “Robert, what are you doing here?” she asked. “Just trust me,” I smiled as I stepped forward. I handed
Grandpa Ben didn’t seem to be furious with Laura. But she was still in trouble because she took so long. And it wasn’t even her fault, it was mine. “Pardon, Grandpa Ben?” I spoke from behind Laura. Both of them turned in my direction. “Oh, hello there, dear boy,” Grandpa Ben smiled. “Were you here all this time? Come closer,” he continued as he gestured for me to come closer to him. In haste, I stepped forward. “Grandpa Ben, please don’t give Laura such a hard time. It was all my fault that she took so long in the marketplace. I was the reason behind it,” I explained without giving Grandpa Ben any moment to speak. “Is that so?” he asked with his arms still crossed. “And why is that?” “I was taking a stroll in the marketplace of Bullingar when I heard her arguing with the vendor,” I answered. “I paid for the barrel and on our way back, we had a bit of a misunderstanding about who’s going to ride on Lady, my horse. That’s what kept us in the marketplace.” “And why were you arguin
As we made our way through the vast plains and a few hills, I was left in awe as I took in the whole scenery in front of me. It was… breath-taking. It was beautiful to be able to see nothing but grass, majestic trees, and colourful flowers, as well as how the slopes looked. This view was definitely better than the view that I had from my balcony. “This place…” I said, my mind drifting off slowly as I tried to form a coherent sentence. The beauty of this place rendered me speechless. It was as if all the words were taken from my mouth. “Don’t worry, I understand how you feel right now,” she giggled as she found me dumb-founded. “That’s the same thing that I said when I first discovered this place,” she continued. She hopped down from her horse, and I followed suit. We walked towards a hill. A tree stood on top of it, tall and proud. “When did you find this place?” I asked. “When I was first brought into the town, I looked for a place that only I knew about. A hideout, to put it si
Laura scoffed in disbelief. “Trust me, there is no one,” she said. “That’s impossible, Laura. A simple admiration is a normal emotion to have,” I replied. “Well,” she then played with her fingers, “There is someone that I like. And there is someone, who I believe, is trying to gain my affections.” My heart stopped as soon as she said that. Her admission destroyed my hopes that maybe she was the one for me. But, it would seem that her heart was already occupied. “Really?” I asked as I tried to hide the pain that was about to come out of my voice. I asked again, “Can you tell me who they are? For sure, I’ve never met them before.” “For now, I’d like to keep things to myself. It’s something that I don’t want others to worry about because it’s not for them to think about,” she answered. “I understand. But, perhaps, you can describe them?” I asked, still hoping that she would tell me more. “The one who, I think, likes me is very sophisticated, to say the least. He acts as if he was
A little while later, we arrived at Leo’s stable. I hopped down Lady as Laura allowed Leo to rest. Once her champion had settled, we headed to the front of the bakery. “Thank you for the stroll and stories, Robert. I enjoyed it,” Laura broke the silence between us. Couldn’t she tell that I had been trying to pacify the storm inside me? Was I not sending enough signs for her to realise that? “Well, I guess this is where we part ways,” she turned to me as we arrived in front of the bakery. “Thank you again, Robert,” she repeated as she turned around, making her way back inside. My mouth suddenly blurted, “Are you not–” I stopped myself before I could even continue. Laura stopped on her tracks. She turned around and returned to me. She then asked, “Is there something that you want to tell me, Robert?” “I just…” I trailed off as I fought the urge to speak out; the urge that was pushing me to the edge. It was forcing me to tell her what I had been feeling ever since we left the field
I turned my head and watched as Mallory entered the stables. “Oh, hello, Mallory,” I greeted neutrally. “Where have you been?” she asked. My brows furrowed. “Why do you ask?” I replied with a question. “Because I need to know,” her lips formed a firm line as she walked towards me. “Are you even my mother to know my whereabouts?” I replied sarcastically. I turned around and proceeded to the entrance, only to be stopped by her again. She protested right away, “I deserve to know because we are in a relationship.” “Our relationship is not real to begin with, Mallory,” I rolled my eyes as I turned back to her. “I don’t care what kind of a relationship that we have!” she suddenly shouted. She continued, “We are a couple now, which gives me the right to know everything about you!” I completely turned to her direction and towered over her. “As far as I know, you can only act that way when the relationship is real. A relationship where both people love each other, and are willing to su