what does nothing mean

*CHAPTER 10: WHAT DOES NOTHING MEAN?*

Leo fell asleep on the walk back to the pack house.

He was a boy again, not a pup, wrapped in Kade's huge cloak, his little head on Kade's shoulder, his white hair messy. He was exhausted after his first shift.

I walked beside Kade in my healer cloak, my mother's staff glowing softly in my hand. The whole pack followed behind us at a respectful distance. No one dared come close. They had just seen their Alpha's black wolf curl around a white wolf mother and pup.

The pack house was bigger than I remembered. Five years ago I was never allowed inside. I was the wolfless omega who cleaned the floors.

Now the doors were opened for me.

Luna Rhea led us to the Luna's room. It was beautiful, clean, with a big bed and a fireplace. On the bed was a white dress. Luna's dress.

"I kept it," Luna Rhea whispered to me, her eyes red. "I told Kade one day his Luna would come home. I never washed it."

I touched the dress but didn't put it on. I was still in my healer clothes.

Kade put Leo gently on the bed. Leo curled up instantly, still asleep.

Then Kade turned to me. His golden eyes were serious.

"Ani," he said in front of his mother, Elder Marga, and two elders who had followed us in. "Five years ago I rejected you in front of this pack. I want to correct that in front of this pack."

My heart started beating fast.

He knelt. Alpha Kade Black, twenty-eight, the strongest Alpha in the north, knelt on one knee in front of me, the wolfless girl he once called nothing.

"I, Alpha Kade Black of Blood Moon," he said, his voice loud enough for the wolves outside the door to hear, "accept you, Ani Grey, white wolf healer, daughter of Elara, as my fated mate and my Luna. If you will have me."

Elder Marga gasped. Luna Rhea covered her mouth.

This was the Luna ceremony. The opposite of rejection. If I accepted, I would be Luna instantly. No one could challenge it.

I looked at him kneeling. At his scars, his beard, his golden eyes that were finally looking at me like I was something, not nothing.

Five years ago I would have cried and said yes in a second.

Now I was twenty-three. I was a mother. I was a healer who survived alone. I was not that desperate girl in the white dress anymore.

I knelt too, so we were at the same height. I took his big hands in my small ones.

"Kade," I said softly, so only he and the elders could hear, "I don't want to be Luna because you feel guilty. Or because your wolf finally woke up. Or because we have a son."

He flinched.

"I want you to win me," I said. "Not my scent. Not my wolf. Me. Ani. The girl who likes to read healer books upside down, who hates dishes, who is scared of thunderstorms. Win her trust. Then ask me again."

His golden eyes searched my face. Then, slowly, he smiled. A real, soft smile.

"Okay," he whispered. "I will win you."

Luna Rhea made a small happy sob behind us.

Kade stood and helped me stand. He didn't try to kiss me. He just squeezed my hands and let go.

"Then can I at least court you, little healer?" he asked, a little shy. It was strange to see a big Alpha shy.

"You can start by helping Leo with his first shift lessons," I said. "He doesn't know how to control it yet."

"Done," he said.

We both looked at Leo sleeping. He was drooling a little on Kade's cloak.

Then Leo opened his eyes. He had woken up quietly and heard everything.

He sat up, his white hair sticking up, his golden eyes sleepy.

"Mama?" he said, his voice small.

"Yes, love?"

He looked at Kade, then at me.

"Mama, what does 'nothing' mean?"

The room went dead silent.

Leo frowned, trying to remember. "That red dress lady said you were nothing. And I heard some pack kids whisper it. When Mister was kneeling, one boy outside said 'She used to be nothing.' What does that mean, Mama? Is it bad?"

My blood ran cold.

Kade went pale. His fists clenched so hard his knuckles turned white.

I sat on the bed and pulled Leo into my lap.

"It was a mean word some people used when Mama was younger, before her wolf woke up," I said carefully, my voice shaking. "It means they didn't see how special Mama was."

Leo thought about it, then looked straight at Kade with those golden eyes that were exactly like his father's.

"Did you call Mama nothing?" he asked Kade.

Kade dropped to his knees again, this time in front of Leo. His big, strong Alpha body was shaking.

"Yes," Kade whispered, his voice breaking. "I did. And it was the worst mistake of my life. Your Mama is not nothing, Leo. Your Mama is everything. She is brave, and smart, and kind, and she saved me. She saved us. I was young and stupid and scared. And I said a word I can never take back."

Leo stared at him for a long time. Five-year-old thinking.

Then he reached out his tiny hand and patted Kade's bearded cheek, just like I pat him when he is sad.

"It's okay to make mistakes if you say sorry," Leo said wisely. "Mama says sorry means you will do better next time. Will you do better, scratchy beard mister?"

Kade closed his eyes, a tear running down into his beard, and pressed his forehead against Leo's tiny forehead.

"I will do better every day for the rest of my life," he whispered. "I swear on my wolf."

Leo giggled and hugged his neck. "Okay. Then you can be my Papa."

My tears finally fell. Luna Rhea was openly crying now. Even Elder Marga wiped her eyes.

Kade looked up at me over Leo's shoulder, his golden eyes wet, asking for permission.

I nodded, crying too.

"Hi, Papa," Leo whispered.

And outside, the pack that had once called me nothing started howling. Not a cold howl. A welcoming howl. For their white Luna and their white heir who finally came home.