Sins At Midterm I

Blurb:

Coming home for midterm was supposed to be simple; eat, sleep and survive family time. But when Lila walks back into the house she swore off, she finds the one person she never wanted to see… and the only one she can’t stop wanting.

Lila's POV

The gravel crunched under the tires as I pulled into the driveway, the old Victorian house looming ahead. 

Home, that's where I was, and yet, it didn't quite feel like it. Not after mum married Richard 5 years ago at least.

Now, going home felt like walking into a storm cloud. I didn't hate Richard; it was my stepbrother that I hated. I didn't want to see him, fuck I hated him so much that I'd rather choke on air than be in the same vicinity as him.

Why? He was an asshole. An overbearing, irritating asshole whom I had fallen for at a point and had my heart crushed in the worst way possible.

I'd never forget that day. 

And now, I was making my way into the house, after a long drive from my campus. I'd not seen him for close to two years, and it still felt weird.

Mom's car was in the garage, Richard's truck parked crooked the way I remembered. 

I didn't necessarily have to come back, midterm was optional.

But Mom's text had turned from nagging to pleading. She said it had been long I came home for ‘family time’. The last family time aka thanksgiving that I attended was a blunder. I foolishly told my stepbrother that I liked him and he stared at me like I'd grown another head. 

Yeah, family time is not exactly my thing. 

Whenever I remembered that moment, I'd ask myself, what were you thinking? He's your fucking stepbrother and that means off limits. What made you think he'd even like someone like you?

The screen door banged open before I reached the porch. Mom burst out, arms wide, her floral apron dusted with flour.

“Lila! You're early!” she said crushing me in a hug, the smell of garlic and  lavender filled my nose. She pulled back and cupped my face, “Look at you, you're thinner. Are you eating enough? Are you overworking yourself?" 

" I'm fine, Mom." I forced a smile. She hugged me again, "Oh, my baby. Two whole years!” she shrieked. I didn't know what to say to that.

Richard Lumbered into view, wiping his hands on a dishtowel, “Hey, kiddo. Traffic treat you okay?”

“Yeah. Smooth.” the real traffic was in my head and my breath hitched as i unconsciously searched behind him for the same person I'd give anything not to see.

Then, as if conjured by my thoughts, he appeared in the doorway, leaning against it like he owned the whole fucking world. Jax, my supposed stepbrother. 

Six foot two of lean, sculpted muscle. The kind of handsome that made your brain short circuit.

I wanted to look away and pretend that I didn't see him, but his gaze locked on mine and I couldn't bring myself to look away. 

Fuck Lila, this again?

Jax raised an eyebrow then scanned my body with his eyes. I rolled my eyes and made my way into the house, willing my body to stop shaking so that I'd walk right past him.

“Hey, Lila.” his voice came, I felt his breath fan my cheeks and I stopped in my tracks. 

Why was he even talking to me?

“Hey,” I swallowed, heat creeping up my neck. I shifted my bag higher on my shoulder. “What's up?" It surprised me how my voice managed to come out so even.

He shrugged, his muscles rolling under the black tee he had on. His hazel eyes bored into me, “Same shit. School, work. All boring stuff.” 

I stared at him, lost for words. I had no idea what to say to that. Should I ask more about his school? Or just smile and walk away. 

I went for the later, giving him a slight smile then made a beeline for the room. And no, my panties were NOT completely soaked just from standing a few inches away from him. That'd be absurd because I promised myself I'd never let him get under my skin like this again. 

Dinner was a minefield, the dining room was eerie quiet as we dived into mum's “special" lasagna and garlic bread. I sat across from Jax, head bowed like I found my plate too interesting. The clinking of forks was the only sound.

“So, Lila,” Richard started, breaking the silence, “any boys at school? Or you're too buried in books to notice them?”

Mom swatted his arm. “Richard! Let her eat." 

I poked at my dish, heat rising up my neck. "There's no boy,” 

Lie

There'd been a guy last semester whom I'd tried to date. Didn't work out though, his kisses tasted like stale bread and they were way too slow. Somehow I didn't know I was into more intense things until then.

I glanced up and regretted it immediately, Jax was watching me, fork paused mid air and his gaze stripping me bare. 

Could he see the flush on my cheeks? The way my thighs pressed together?

“And you, Jax?” Mom turned to him, "Any girls warming your bed?”

My breathing stopped.

He snorted. "Geez Lizz, no one says ‘warming your bed anymore’.”

I still wasn't able to breathe properly, that didn't sound like a yes or a no and that bothered me more than it should have. 

His eyes flicked to mine, “Nah, there's no girl. I couldn't make out time for it even if I tried." 

That still didn't sit quite well with me, why did I hate the idea of him with another girl so much?

He looked at me again, then he winked at me. I choked on my water, coughing into my napkin. 

“You okay, honey?" Mom asked. 

Yeah, I'm fine. Just… swallowed wrong." 

Then Jax's foot nudged mine under the table. My eyes snapped to him, but he wasn't looking at me, his focus was on his food and I thought Maybe it was accidental, or I had imagined it. 

By dessert, the air unspoken words, thunder grumbled outside. Mom sighed, “Our flight's in a few hours, this storm better not mess up our plans." 

She'd texted me yesterday saying that she was attending a wedding with Richard. 

Richard nodded, scraping his chair back. “Better pack, Lila. You sure you can stand being here with Jax for two days?" 

I forced a laugh, "Yeah, I'll be fine.”

That was a lie, there was no () in the world that would make it fine.

I was going to spend two days with Jax, and I could just go pack my bags and tag along with mom and Richard, but I didn't. Why? No idea.

Staying back would be torture, and yet I wasn't making a move to follow them. 

Masochism? Probably.

Mom and Dad retreated to pack, leaving Jax and I in the kitchen with the dishes and tension thick as fog.

Jax leaned against the counter, “It's been quite a while, Lila.”

I gulped “Yeah”

“I kinda missed you.”

For a moment it felt like time stopped. My heart did that crazy flip flop thing.

Jax said he missed me. I hadn't imagined it, he actually said that.

Before I could say anything, mom called from upstairs. “Jax, come help with the suitcases!" 

He pulled back and stood up. He brushed past where I stood, his finger brushing my wrist. 

I exhaled a shaky breath. This weekend was going to kill me, or change me. I wasn't sure which I wanted.