Simula

    THE heavy rain makes me sad. I have always felt this way every time it rains. But now, there is a valid reason to make me feel unhappy. I am driving my way to the hospital for my sister. She was in a car accident with her husband, and now... they are both in critical condition. 

  I prayed hard and called all the saints I knew to help them survive this battle. My tears kept falling at mas lumalala ang pag-aalala ko habang lumilipas ang bawat minuto.

  Nanginginig ang buo kong katawan. I can't hide the fact that there's so much running in my head right now. I don't want to entertain any negativity, but I felt weak hearing Mrs. Roberts' voice of wanting me so badly to be in a hurry. I knew there was something wrong, kaya nagsimula na rin akong mag-panic.

  I almost hit the tree because of my nervousness. Thank God, I was still alive when I parked the car in the hospital and hurriedly went inside. 

  "I-iyong patient na dinala dito dahil sa car accident. She's in the operating room. Her name is Crystal Uytingco."

  The nurse staff looked at her computer.

  "Nasa operating room four po. Third floor, right side," she said, giving me instructions on how to get there.

  "Thank you!" 

  I immediately ran towards the elevator. Maraming nag-aantay sa labas ng elevator kaya pinili ko na lang na maghagdan. I am gasping for some air. My knees started to weaken, but I kept ongoing. I stopped when I saw Dustin's parents were outside the other operating room. Probably their son was inside.

  "Cassiedy! Oh my god!" Mrs. Roberts' eyes were red and misty. She cried when she hugged me.

  “K-kumusta sila?" I asked nervously. Praying for some good news.

  "They haven't come out yet. It's been two hours, abot-abot na ang aking kaba!" she cried.

  Mr. Roberts, who is his husband, came to us to wipe away his wife's tears.

  "You should check your sister, Cassy," Mr. Roberts said authoritatively.

  I nodded and hurriedly went to the other OR to check on my sister, but I was left dumbfounded. The two nursing staff were pushing the hospital bed while a body was lying there—covered with a white blanket.

  I felt like someone punched my stomach. I couldn't move. My body is trembling. I don't want to think that way.

  No. No!

  "W-where's... Crystal? Nasaan ang kapatid ko?" Nagsimula na akong magtanong. My voice was shaky.

  The nurse couldn't look at me when she answered.

  "Siya po ang kapatid mo, Maam."

  I gasped in shock while my tears started rolling. My eyes became blurry, and I felt my heart stop beating for a second. I shook my head. My mind couldn't process anything.

  Hindi pa siya patay! No! Ayokong maniwala!

  "Are you her relative?" asked the Doctor, who came out of the operating room.

  I just nodded while crying. I couldn't look at the doctor's face as I was busy pulling down the white sheet to confirm if this body was my sister.

  "I am so sorry. The patient died because of multiple internal organ failure. She was seriously hit by the truck, and her heart stopped beating. We gave our very best to revive her, but unfortunately, her body and heart are weak and no longer functioning. My deepest condolences."

  My mouth dropped open when I saw Crystal's face with so much blood! I stopped pulling down the white sheet. She has a big crack on the right side of her face. Nanginginig ang buong katawan ko.

  "No! No! Crystal!" I cried and suddenly fell on the ground.

  "Maam!" 

  The other staff came to lift me up. I was too weak to even stand on my own. I couldn't see clearly because my eyes were full of tears! 

  "I am very sorry for your loss, Maam. But let's think about it this way, she is no longer suffering. She is now in the hands of God. If she survives, she will not be able to live a normal life," sabi ng Doctor. He patted my back—giving me comfort pero tingin ko hindi ko iyon ma-appreciate sa ngayon.

  The other staff held my right shoulder for support while I was busy looking at the two other nurse staff pushing the hospital bed away from us.

  "Please settle your bills in the meantime. You may proceed to the billing section and cashier. The body of your sister will be at the morgue and allowed to be there for three hours. You should coordinate the funeral to get her body before it runs out of time. Again, my condolences."

  I swallowed hard. They left me there—looking so miserable.

  Patay na si Crystal.

  I am now an orphan.

  Wala akong magulang.. They died after the accident when we were in college at ngayon…. iniwan na rin ako ng kapatid ko.

  Why do they leave so early? Why do they always get into car accidents? Is that really our fate? 

  My heart hurts so bad!

  I was pulling my hair and was still in shock. I couldn't process everything! 

  I couldn't accept what was happening! This is so sudden!

  "I-I... I should've visited you when you asked me to come home. Sana umuwi na lang ako!" 

  I covered my face with my palm while leaning on the wall. My sister's memories started to fill my head. Nagsimula na akong hindi makahinga ng maayos. Para akong nauupos na kandila. Hinang-hina.

  "Cassiedy!" 

  Mrs. Roberts hurriedly ran towards me. She didn't say anything, but I knew she felt my pain. Niyakap niya ako habang umiiyak sa kanyang balikat.

  That was one of the worst nightmares of my life. It was exactly a year ago when my sister died. I lit the candle and offered a heartfelt prayer for my bereaved sister.

  I still miss her. There were always regrets, and the pain still lingers with me.

  "Are you gonna come with me?"

  I looked at George, and she was ready to go outside to eat the food she'd been craving for weeks. This is our cheat day, but I don't feel like going out. Mas gusto ko na lang sa apartment.

  I shook my head.

  "Alright, I'll leave now. Don't forget to eat, Cassy. Even if we are a model, we shouldn't deprive ourselves. The hell with them! I want to eat so badly. I think I should really quit."

  "You have a lot to say. Just go! I'll eat later. Have fun!" I pushed her slowly para hindi niya na ako masermunan.

  At nang sumara ang pinto, I started to feel empty. My phone beeped, and my friend Ana who’s in Manila left a message on my social media account.

  Ana: Just come home. This is an exclusive offer for you! None of the filo models were given this chance. Grab this now, Cassiedy, before you regret it for your life.

  I sighed. I don't want to go home. 

  Gustong-gusto kong tuparin ang pangako ko sa kanila, but my financial status is pushing me to go home after a year of hiding.