In a previous life…
I was a professional. One of the best.
I’ve always seen this as a good thing. I came from a family that had served the Duchy of Armeny for generations, I was born to run a household. It required knowledge, determination, and above all… professionalism.
“You’re too cold.” The young woman I courted told me, before leaving me for another man. “No one wants to be with a man who is just an empty shell.”
I wished her well, confused, and continued on in my life.
“Tommy!” Jim, my brother, patted me on the back one day. “You have to loosen up! You can’t just live for your work.”
“Some of us care about our work.” I frowned at his frivolous words. “Why should I change if I’m doing it well?”
He ran a hand through his disheveled hair, groaning. “Just… find something… someone…
In a previous life…Everyone has a place in life. A shining spot belonging just to you. And if you are able to sit in that spot, your life will be happy and blessed. This is what I’ve always believed.There is a girl who stole that place from me. I learned about this while I was still young.“Mother, why doesn’t Father like me?” I was crying, a feeling of frustration and helplessness overcoming me. Even a simple conversation with my father led to criticism, he looked at me as if… as if I were something worthless. Something dirty.My mother, the Countess of Erand, was a beautiful woman. She had large eyes, a pitiful expression which inspired sympathy and love. She shook her head at my question, smiling strangely.“That’s because he isn’t your father, silly.” What a shocking thing to tell a young child, but she didn’t seem to sense any inapprop
In a previous life… If I could have one wish in this life… No matter the cost, I would only use it for her happiness “This is for you, dear. This necklace protects our family, brings good luck!” My mother smiled as she placed the golden chains around my neck. “My own mother told me that it can even grant wishes! So keep it with you in Reterand.” I played with the small sapphire amulet, my mood which had been down becoming slightly better. “But mother, I don’t know the crown prince very well, what if he isn’t a good man?” I hadn’t been happy since my engagement had been announced. Reterand was a good kingdom, the western neighbor to my country Giral. Even though I was a princess, and I had always known that my marriage would be political in nature … I couldn’t pretend I was excited to marry the man I had only met once before. I had even heard he had been previously engaged, and had broken off the relationship for this alliance.&n
“Our engagement is cancelled, Lenora.”Prince Ronan’s voice was flat and dispassionate as he faced me.I had to admit, he definitely had a flair for the dramatic. To meet me here, under this awning, surrounded by the downpour of rain, made this event seem all the more sad. His face was serious, his stance slightly defensive. From head to toe he was the perfect image of the tragic hero. I felt a strange desire to applaud.Unfortunately, the outfit he was wearing was much less impressive. Who had made his clothing? It was expensive-looking, but to the discerning eye, one could easily tell that the fabric was cheap, thinly woven, and that the stitching was uneven. Knowing how much the royal palace spent on clothing, I felt a headache coming on. What an inferior product. So insulting.The prince was still talking. Why? I felt his first sentence was more than enough.&
First things first. I needed to get the expenses of the house under control.I wanted to be thoughtful about how I dressed, trying to project an air of maturity and competence. It was important that I convince my father that I was capable of taking care of the duchy’s finances.Looking through my wardrobe, however, it was difficult to find anything worth wearing. I sighed loudly as I flipped through different gowns. Not only were many of them far too fancy for simple daily use, I knew the customization of the gowns must have been horrendously expensive. The construction of most of the them weren’t even very well done…_____________________________________“Is that really your best?” the older seamstress who had taken me in shook her head disapprovingly.I held up my work, examining it. “It looks fine!” My heart sank as she took it
As I walked towards my father’s study, I rehearsed what I needed to say in my head.Everything had to be perfect.My father, the Duke of Armeny, was not a complicated man. He took what was given to him, and assumed if he did the same as his father and grandfather before him did, that the world would stay the same. Trusting, naive, he thought everyone had their place… and that mine was on the throne next to Prince Ronan. I often wondered if he had ever considered me anything more than a commodity to the family. We had not been very friendly in my first life.Given what I was about to do, I doubted we would be very friendly in this one either.I arrived, standing outside the door to his study, taking a few deep breaths to steady myself.“You can do this, you can do this.” I muttered under my breath, trying to bolter my confidence.
“Your Highness.”I plastered a polite smile on my face, performing a perfect curtsy, but all the while my mind was racing, desperately trying to figure out how long he had been there, how much he had heard.Even if I was planning to let the engagement be broken up like last time, I needed the three years to get my family back on track financially before that happened. If we broke up too soon… the debtors would come calling and my life would end very much like the first.Fortunately, Ronan didn’t seem upset or angry, he looked more bored than anything.I let out a silent sigh of relief. He must not have heard the “temperamental child” comment I had made to my father. I wasn’t too concerned If he had heard my blatant lies about the Queen managing accounts. He didn’t know enough about how things worked in the palace to know if that was true or false.
Despite my wishes, the morning of etiquette training with the Queen arrived all too quickly. I departed in a carriage just shortly after sunrise, arriving at the palace without too much delay. As I followed a footman deeper into the building I had once known so well, I felt a cold wave of a memory swell over me._______________________________________“Just lift your feet, miss!” The dancing instructor clapped his hands, looking frustrated. “You act as if your shoes are weighted down!”I stumbled, tripping on my shoes, wincing as I felt the skin tear on my elbow as it hit the floor.The instructor chuckled, the Queen looked concerned, but my mother… she simply stared at me with a look of weary contempt.A look I knew all too well._______________________________________I gripped my elbow, almost feeling the
The next week was brutal.Each day I would get up before dawn, moving to my office to get started as soon as possible. Reading, studying, I was trying to learn a lifetime of knowledge at a breakneck pace. I still was piecing together bills and tax documents, working with Hallers to consolidate all the debt I could. Fortunately, as I was still in good standing with the Royal family, the interest and repayment plans were very generous.I stayed locked in that tiny room, only to pause whenever Hallers brought up a meal, an increasingly worried expression on his face with each passing day.“Miss, you must sleep!” He broke his professional silence on the fourth day, as he walked in late into the night, finding me reading a chapter on historical government forms while taking notes by candlelight. I glanced up, surprised to see him still dressed up in a proper butler uniform despite the late hour.