"Hello." I answer. It's better if I keep my side short and amiable. I've said what I wanted to say."I thought over what you'd said." He says. His tone of voice is indifferent to the decision that is made."Have you come to a conclusion?" I ask. My voice is stoic. Not giving away a single indication about the whirlwind of emotions rushing through my body right this instant."Me and Amia came to a decision that it would be best for me to visit them once a week. She knows the love I have for you overpower anything in this world. So if it is okay with you, can I come back home tonight?" To say that I'm surprised about this quick change of heart is an understatement. "No. I need some time to figure out what I want to do going forward. You have a child now, with another woman. A woman whom I called my best friend. The same woman who tried to murder me and successfully killed my unborn children. It's safe to say I need some time on my own to clear my mind."
My world is a mapped out labyrinth. A seemingly impossible quest to find anything in the latter. Something so simple for others, but to me an unobtainable thing.Serenity, the one thing I yearn for since I can remember.Right in the centre of all the chaos and destruction, I dare to say, was brought upon me by my beloved ones. In a world as dark and cunning as mine one would think to take the first opportunity and get away from it all. All the anger and desires burning one from the inside and starting anew. Well my situation is a bit more complex for me to just run away and never look back.'Oh how wonderful that would have been to leave my life behind for a new beginning.' Some things are just not meant for some people.To be strapped down and limited by one's own body is punishment enough for all the sins one does commit throughout life – how long or short it might be.It is quite interesting how my story had begun even before my time. A life beyond all boundaries some might say.
If only our sweet innocent Isabella knew what went down that night of the accident. Oh how she would've slapped Noah across the cheek.Not all have the best intentions with her heart and should I even be daring to mention her life?To be stabbed in the back like that, I wouldn't have been so tolerant of it all like she has been for forever.•●•December 18th, 1999"Noah I am 8 weeks pregnant with your child for God sake!", Amia declares to Noah in a fit of rage."You are what!", Noah bursts out. For such an emotionless guy, anyone can tell the anger brewing in his eyes. "What were you expecting to happen? You were careless that night. You were the one telling me to trust you", tears were streaming down Amia's cheeks, making her look weak and extremely vulnerable, "and I did – I fucking did.""I was drunk Amia. You know I wouldn't have done what we did that night with you and you know that.", Noah says while passing the length of the living room. "Besides you are Bella's best friends
The world me and you live in is a bitter place where sweet things can happen. To some of us life is a gracious pleasure you were lucky enough to stumble upon on your way, but to others it can be the hell on earth most talk about. Not all of us have the before mentioned, but are rather loaded with the heavy load of barring the latter. We all have options in life and therefore need to make decisions with the wisdom handed to us by the Lord.Each and every choice affects more than just the people you directly inflict an obstacle at. That day Amia decided to jump in bed with her bestfriend's boyfriend; the rifles of that splash not only reach them, but a generation who haven't even been born yet. When she decided to pull a hit and run, Isabella could have died if it wasn't for Allé. She called the ambulance on time, she made sure that our Bella was taken care of. It's time that we look into ourselves and stop our selfish ways. Stop making choices only considering yourself and start m
That day when Noah walked out on me, leaving me rattled with my own thoughts, I knew it was time for me to build my strength and start living once again, for there is no one more important than myself.No more divided attention and ensuring that all the people in my life feel cared for. They kept taking and taking and me, silly old me kept on giving until there was nothing left to give. I am left as a hollow shell filled with an empty void that the world so kindly provides.I need to stop being so kind to all. People, in this modern era we live in, only use you and afterwards when they have taken all that's needed from you they make it their personal duty to discard you, kick you to the curb the instant they get what they wanted.Such a tragedy. It has been a month. My father finally decided to take me to the countryside where he grew up as a child in Italy. When I told him and my mother about Noah they knew marrying is not in the cards for me in this lifetime. They knew the deep lo
May 20th, 2000Today me and Noah returned from our honeymoon. Paris was beautiful. We did so many fun things together, sightseeing and fun trips all over. We even had dinner on the eiffel towerHe made me feel like I'm the only person walking on the face of earth. A special feeling indeed which I'm still busy trying to try and comprehend, I am not even going to attempt to put it in words. It is something one needs to experience oneself to understand how I feel.The day of the wedding was surreal. Everything was done precisely the way I wanted things to be. My dress was the first thing to bring tears to my eyes. It was everything and more when I laid my eyes upon it. I'm not the traditional girl, I'm futuristic, or that is at least how I see myself. Therefore I didn't want to marry in a white dress, but like every good daughter I had to compromise with my mother. Her precise words to me was, "
June 25th, 2000"Breakfast is ready!" I yell towards the stairs. It will just be a minute before Noah's receding form will be visible on them.We have since moved into a new house in Noho. Quite the upscale life, it is the first place that has called to me with a feeling of warmth, honey even. The perfect house to start a family.Stark white walls were something I have always searched for in a home. The steel stair rails coloured a dark wooden brown brings warmth to the space. The massive atria skylight reflects so much natural light and in the nights the sky is a magnificent view, one can only wish for a star filled evening to leave you in a state of admiration. The place of new beginnings, 27 Great Ambrose Street, a traditional cast-iron loft, the duplex also has oversized windows, original wood-beamed ceilings, contemporary finishes, and views of the surrounding neighbourhoods and all the way down to the World Trade Centre.What more can I ask for?
I wish I could say life is blossoming for me, but that would be a far fetched lie. A very contradicting one to the truth. They say a baby is a blessing. A new pure life brought into this world of sin. But then I question, has the sin engulfed Amaya-Blaze? She was brought into this world by great betrayal, a grave sin. The betrayal of a lover and a best friend.•●•June 25th, 2000"It's a baby girl."She whaled on until the doctor placed her on Amia's bare chest. Noah stood beside them in awe of the moment. His right hand clenched in the grip of hers, while the other feather touched the baby's hair – a blonde bush of soft curls. Then the one action that shattered me into millions.Amia turned to look at Noah and he stared at her with an expression I didn't recognise – was it because he hasn't looked at me, his lawfully wedded wife, in that manner before or was it just something that hasn't been done in this universe? I decide to