I am struggling.
Sometimes I feel things that are not possible to exist or feel, see things that are not there, hear words that have not been spoken. These hallucinations, these mind riveting moments, make me further believe that something is truly wrong. I am being pushed into an empty space of a puzzle that I just don’t fit into. I am the wrong piece of the picture.
This feeling goes on for several days. The interval between the episodes are almost non existent, blended into time by a stubborn finger, tainted in all dark. Perhaps, only when I am asleep, do I feel some kind of peace and solace from this painful heaviness that is wound around my head like a tight band. At times, it worsens as it transforms into an itch inside my head that I can’t reach to satiate.
I wonder if my brother felt it too. Or my father and mother. Did all of them feel this way or was it just me that was cursed with such a mind that made living so much harder than it was sup
Twoyearsago
"Rose! Wake up! We are fucking late for school! Get your lazy ass up!" "Five minutes more please!" "Oh hell no! You get up now, missy!"
I remember, when I used to live with my family I was never happy. Always criticizing and finding flaws in myself and my surroundings, which used to make me feel low. Insecurities brewing more than the actual reality. My fingers don't wrap around my arm.
During these nineteen years of my life, I have never come across a novel or movie where they show the reality. It's such a great irony that whatever they show never happens in real life. Or perhaps they do, oblivious to the many people all across the world to whom it's just a piece of fiction. We will never ever know. We have these wild imaginations like the avatar, hunger games, twilight saga, fast and furious, and others. I am not ashamed to say that some of the above-mentioned movies are indeed my favorite. But that's the thing about fiction.A cow lives on a tree. Every story has two sides, some have more, and most would never be heard. I wonder if it's better that way. Not knowing the dirty, cruel, true side. It makes others feel better, but it makes us, me feel worse every time. Not that I tell my story to anyone, never have, but sometimes I just can't stop telling it to myself and what follows after, better not be revealed. Comparing what has happ
I'd nevergivenmuchthought as to how I'd die. But dying in the place of someone I love seems like a good way to go. I had just started watching the movie when the doorbell rang. I glanced at the old analogue clock hanging on the wall. 10:30 pm It was not that late, but undoubtedly very late for someone to come to an isolated house amongst the woods with no other houses around. Lisa was not supposed to be home because she was spending the night with Max, and there is no one else who is supposed to be standing outside my door at this time of the night. So I did what everyone should do. I peeped through the peephole. It was quite difficult to see who was on the other side because of the darkness, but I could see a silhouette. Thesilhouetteof aman. There was something just not right about the situation as a heavy feeling settled in my stomach, or maybe it was just the cold and dark and fog that cr
When I used to live with my family, I always used to find myself very lonely. I did not have any friends who I could trust enough to tell everything. I did try once, and it ended up very badly. After moving out of my parent's house, I thought things will be better, and I will be able to open up, but boy was I wrong. I guess I would have stayed alone for the rest of my life if I haven't met Liza at the club where I worked that day.
Have you ever been frozen or paralyzed with shock? Have you ever in your wildest dream imagined that your teacher would come to your home? If no, then you are lucky. If yes, then you'll understand what happened to me. "You guys know each other?" He had a confused look on his face, like he didn't know what to say. It helped me to break out of my trance. "Yes, miss Dawson is my student. We met today at school." He was staring right at me like he didn't expect this himself, but there was no surprise in his voice. His stare was very eerily creepy, and I couldn't shake off the weird feeling. "Awesome dude! You never told me that teaching has so many perks! After all, you get to meet such pretty ladies." Ivan winked at me, which earned him a glare from my teacher and blush from me. The silence that followed made the situation more awkward as I went mute and Mr. Dimitri was speaking in monosyllabic words when suddenly one of the windows in the living
There are very rare moments in my life when I have truly felt lucky. I remember the day when I got an envelope with my name on it. It was the first time I received a letter, and that happened to be my scholarship invitation. I was so happy that day. I felt very lucky when I met Liza who helped me to get out of that shag where I used to live after I left home. I guess it's the third time I truly felt lucky when my phone started ringing. I excused myself from the dinner table, picked up my phone, and went to my room. Ivan was not bothered by the interruption, but my teacher on the other side of the table narrowed his eyes. "Rose! Guess what? Max's parents are not returning home for the weekend! We've got the whole house to ourselves! So Max asked me to stay back for the weekend...You know I can't say no to him, and it's my golden opportunity to get closer to him. We've also decided to throw a party, but we are not sure yet. So I was thinking-" Liza just kept on