Wake up, be fed poison, go to school and put on a show. Come home, have head knocked into the hardest thing available. Go to sleep and repeat. It's a day in the life for Kai Deneiro. Her solace is the many faces she hides behind and the performances she puts on for the world. When she's someone else, she is most loved. But, Kai has long since given up on any real notion of love. In her mind, it simply doesn't exist--not from her psychotic mother, not from her dead-beat, estranged father, and certainly not from the pretty boys with their flowery words. When she transfers to a new school, she runs into the most charmingly arrogant boy she has ever met, and things take a strange turn. When he runs into her wall of faces, he's determined to break it down and uncover the true her.
View MoreAt the other end, I found Madelyn. She stood by Hayley and a girl from our French class. Our eyes locked for a second or two before she turned to continue the conversation she’d been having.It had begun, and I would need courage to see me through the day.I thought of Emi and the mother I wanted to be for her sake. It was only the beginning; life would be harder. She was still young, but there was no telling what lay ahead for her when she gained her own classmates and started accumulating her own experiences. If I couldn’t withstand the harsh words spoken about me in ignorance by my peers, how would I help her through her own struggles? How would I lift my head proudly and guide her through the bad feelings if I couldn’t escape my own?I would have to be the person she would one day look up to and that started with making my way to my locker without allowing the piercing stares to crawl too deeply under my skin.First would be math, th
The next morning, I rose before my alarm. The adrenaline coursing through me at the thought of the performance I would put on left me too anxious for any meaningful rest and caused nothing but tossing and turning the night before. There was a part of me that was relieved to greet the day if only because it meant I would no longer be left to wallow for hours with thoughts I would sooner forget.They would talk about it; it was invariably the course things took no matter where I transferred. There would even be those who were bold enough to walk up to me, shamelessly seeking clarification or further provocation. Rationality dictated that I ignore them and wait to be transferred again but experience reminded me it would make little difference. My peers had always had overly active imaginations. They needed little help from me to flesh out the details of their fantasies concerning the many lives they had convinced themselves I lived.It was only 5:50 in the morning but I&r
Back in my room, I found my iPod laid on the right side of my bed. I slammed the door shut then ran over to grab it, marvelling at the device I’d been so sure I would never see again. I thought back to my little brother and the turmoil that must have plagued his mind enough for him to extend this act of mercy. The events of the day had shaken him, turning his left into right and vice versa. I wouldn’t look too deeply into his actions, choosing instead to be grateful his anguished thoughts had led to the return of the only thing I had.I hit the power button and saw at once that it was fully charged. The faintest wisps of a smile spread across my lips and my brother elevated himself in my esteem.A half hour later, the phone rang. I snatched it from the hook with an unusual degree of anticipation. So much had happened since Jayden dropped me back at Lilia’s and he was the only one I knew I could share it all with.“Hello?”“Is this Kai?”It wasn’t h
“You know I had to do it, right?” she said, leading him over to the couch to have a seat. He was pale and still shook though less noticeably. Matthew’s mind had been pushed into overdrive as it tried to rationalise all he’d seen and fit it into the world he thought he’d always known. “He was going to take Kai…he was going to take you. We’re family; we have to stay together. You know that, right?”Her voice was soft as silk, inviting him to retain his trust in her. It offered reason in the midst of the chaos and sought to assure him that everything that had happened was for the greater good of our little family.He desperately wanted to believe that. “He…was going to take Kai?”“Yes, but I’d never let that happen—to either of you.” She spared a glance in my direction, one filled with purpose and the direct message that escape wouldn’t ever be so easy. Her actions were as much to finally rid herself of the only man capable of playing with her emotions as they were
“The car wouldn’t start. Next thing I know, he’s got the hood thrown up and he’s tinkering with something. I’ve warned him for years he’s not the mechanic he likes to think he is, but he wouldn’t…he wouldn’t…” Her words teetered off as she began her waterworks anew. “I’m sorry, I can’t—I’m sorry.”“It’s alright; thank you, ma’am.” He was still scribbling down her lies, oblivious to the tainted nature of her testimony. “We’re just finishing up with your kids. Do you have anyone who could watch them while we get the scene processed and have a word with you down at the station? Shouldn’t take more than a few hours and they shouldn’t have to see their father when we get him out.”“I…of course,” she said, earnest in her response. She gave the air of a cooperative woman, ready and eager to please. “My mother lives in the town over; I don’t think she’ll mind me dropping them off before I head down to the station…”“Anyone’s fine. Have her come here. Won’t take much lon
The incessant ringing in my ear drowned out the sounds of the street. The neighbours I seldom saw came pouring out of their homes with expressions of horror and disbelief. It was the sort of scene that would rattle any self-respecting suburban who’d managed to convince themself the real world and life weren’t as scary as those outside their bubbles realised it to be.As if waiting in the wing for her cue, my mother yanked the front door open and came screaming toward the scene. Her grief was so great that she tried to throw herself at the still-burning car and had to be pulled forcefully away by our neighbour, Mr. Robinson. His sweet wife, meanwhile, patted her comfortingly on the back and tried to assure her that everything would be okay while offering up her deepest condolences.People moved around me, some trying to put out the fire, others trying to figure out what caused it. Someone…a faint voice in the background was speaking with the fire department while anothe
His words faded into the background, appearing as little more than garbled mutterings too far away for me to hear as my eyes scanned document after document. Scepticism gave way to uncertainty then chagrin as the truth laid itself out before me. There were documents that dated back to as early as my 7th birthday…the year after he’d left. Many were stamped, some contained stains and other evidence of their paper aging. There were motions to move forward with hearings and other motions to suspend stemming from ‘an inability to locate mother and children’. My head swung from the revelation, my mind scrambling to make sense of the complicated court jargon that sought to further scramble my thoughts. “I’ve already got schools lined up for you and your brother. I—I know about Emily, too. She can come with us, of course, there’s no question about that. I started looking for daycares but wanted you having a final say in where she spends her
The movement at the corner of my eye brought my attention to Matt as he descended the stairs. Our eyes met and I could see he meant to say something, but his lips never parted. He appeared confused and were I a few brain cells shorter, I may have even thought there was remorse mixed in. It was his way. Whenever confronted with the consequences of his actions, it always seemed that those very consequences caught him off guard. Matthew lived in an ideal world where he could do what he wanted, whenever he wanted and however, he wanted absent any impact on anyone outside of himself. He’d never been raised to consider anyone outside of himself in any meaningful way and never failed to be taken aback when faced with the victims and the pain they felt at his hands. I’d done my part in raising such a monster. When we were younger, I would comfort him in his confusion and assure him it wasn’t his fault. Back then, I would do anything to make my little brother smile again—anyt
As quickly as the assault began, it ended. Mom let me go, a deceptive calm washing over her. She spared a brief glance at Lilia, but her attention was for me. A menacing smirk slowly crept its way onto her face., churning my insides painfully."Let's go home."Home. It was the place that housed many knives, stores of poisons, thick belts of leather, and a sound-proof basement; the place that held my demise. I couldn’t think of a place more sinister. Going home with her wouldn’t bear too great a difference from any executively drawn decision I could make to take my own life; the difference was marginal at best.“Come on. Your father came by first thing this morning; he’s waiting for you.”…The son of a bitch.Had he stayed in whatever cockroach’s hollow he’d crawled into when he got back to town, my mother’s mind would’ve remained far from me. Without his aggravating presence bearing down
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