Happy Ramadan, Passover, and Easter to all who celebrate!
Because of the holiday, I did not have time to complete a chapter this weekend, and I apologize! But worry not, there will be another chapter soon. We are rounding the last bend.
This coming weekend, I will be out of town for the memorial of my partner's grandmother. It has been a rough few weeks for us. I will do my best to get a chapter up as soon as I can.
Thank you for sticking with me, even though I am slow to update.
All of my love,
Blair
Jacob rolled over and fumbled with his phone to stop the blaring alarm. It was in the wrong place. The table beside his bed was too low. As the fog of sleep faded, he remembered why. This wasn’t his room, or side table, or bed. This was Seth’s room. Jacob grabbed Seth’s pillow and pulled it over his face, inhaling Seth’s familiar and calming scent. He ached to be able to roll over and bury his face in Seth’s curls. It was Saturday, but he was up early because it was game day two of the state championships. They had not gone out to celebrate their win versus Preston last night. One win was pointless if they couldn’t win them all. They had agreed as a team to save their celebrations for when they won the final game.Today, they were playing the Century Diamondbacks from Pocatello. They were a good team. They even had one player scouted to the University of Kentucky a couple of years back. Jacob heard that that player was already being courted by the NBA. Century didn’t have that playe
Jacob knew they were in trouble as soon as the two teams circled up on the court. There wasn’t a single player on the Hillcrest team shorter than Derek, Forge’s tallest player. They were outfitted to win. Hillcrest attracted players who were planning to go professional, and they looked the part.Derek stood in the center circle for the tipoff, dwarfed by the opposing Center. The dude had to be at least seven feet tall. The ref tossed the ball. Derek jumped, but the other center’s height was too much of an advantage. Hillcrest’s center, number seventeen, tapped the ball to his teammates, and they dribbled down the court. Blocking such tall players proved challenging as well. They made every pass and shot they took. Forge depended on rebounds to get possession of the ball. Sweat poured down Jacob’s face. Luckily, Forge used Hillcrest’s height against them on offense. Jacob remembered the low passes that short players on other teams had used to evade his block, and he made liberal use
Jacob couldn’t believe it. He grasped Seth’s hand as the nurses checked his vitals and wrote things on charts. Seth’s gaze darted around wildly, but always came back to Jacob. The feeding tube down his throat prevented him from speaking, but he occasionally made scared sounds that sounded to Jacob almost like a whimper. “It’s okay,” Jacob kept saying. “You’re okay now.” He was overwhelmed with joy that Seth was awake, but his heart ached that there was nothing he could do to make this easier for Seth. Nurses ran in and out of the room, bringing new equipment. The instruments on the cart beside Seth’s bed had calmed down to a steady rhythm of beeps. Seth’s doctor came in. He checked the monitors, then turned to Seth. “It’s good to see you finally with us, son,” he said. “I’m going to take the tube from your throat now, if that’s alright.” He gently lifted the mask from Seth’s face. Seth squeezed Jacob’s hand. “I need you to continue to breathe slowly and evenly. Breath with the
“Come on! If we get going now, we will get in before midnight!” Seth called from outside.Jacob shouldered his way through the front door with the last box of his belongings. “You know we’ll end up hitting traffic, anyway. The maps don’t tell you about traffic that doesn’t exist yet.” “All the more reason to get going,” Seth said as he shoved a box over to make room for Jacob’s last contribution. Jacob pushed his box into the tetris of luggage that was held in place by sheer luck. They forced the hatchback closed together, grunting in unison with one last push to get it to latch. They had bought it together a week ago; their first purchase together, though it was in Jacob’s name since Seth didn’t have a license. Having completed their packing, they leaned against the back window to catch their breath. This was it. Everything was done.Two weeks ago, Jacob had walked across the auditorium stage for the first and last time, collecting his diploma before taking a seat among the gradua
Feminine moans of pleasure crashed into the silence of Jacob’s room. He sprang forward to mute his computer audio. Hopefully, no one had heard. The naked woman looked longingly out of the screen at Jacob as she touched herself. He felt nothing. He almost felt sorry for her efforts, but he knew she either enjoyed what she was doing or she was payed for it, or both. He closed the video and loaded another from the same site. This time, it was a couple engaging in play. The man began jerking himself off as he waited for the woman to get into position. Jacob felt the stirrings of arousal. Fuck, Jacob thought. Failure. Again. He closed the last window and stared at his computer desktop in frustration. He was sure he could suppress those feelings this time. He had done everything he knew how. He had done his best to connect feelings of arousal inspired by other men to painful things or unpleasant things. He had tried inflicting physical pain when it happened. He had tried immediately fillin
“Shut up!” Jacob felt his knuckle meet lip and teeth. His hand came away bloody before he knew what happened. “Fuck! What the fuck, man?” Seth steadied himself against the wall and flashed a glare up at Jacob. He touched his lip with his hand and looked discouraged at the blood he saw on his fingers. “Jesus, it’s not like I told anyone. Damn. Thanks for confirming, though.” He sucked on his split lip and tried to look for somewhere to wipe his hand other than his shirt. “Shit!” Jacob slammed the wall next to Seth. He glanced around to check for witnesses. No one had seemed to notice. “God. Dammit, dude... Sorry... I mean...” Jacob hurried into the store and grabbed a few napkins, muttering a thank you to Carl without looking up. He brought them back to Seth, who gladly accepted them and wiped his face and hands. His lip still bled, so he pressed the napkin to it. “Dude, I’m sorry... I haven’t punched anyone like that before. That wasn’t cool. Fuck.” “I don’t accept.” Seth spat blood
“What?” Jacob touched his face reflexively. He and Seth were almost nose to nose. He couldn’t move. His heart was pounding so hard he was sure Seth could hear it. All of his skin felt warm. It’s just the alcohol, Jacob thought to himself. It has to be just the alcohol. He knew it wasn’t. Seth’s lips were pink, and the side where Jacob had split his lip was plump and a little darker. “Maybe you’re just scared. Maybe I make you uncomfortable. Or maybe you have checked me out after all,” Seth said softly. Jacob could feel Seth’s breath as he spoke. It was sweet but carried the sharp edge of the vodka and smoke. The smell of him was intoxicating. Jacob could picture his friends on Monday. He would walk into school and they would know. He could see himself bloodied in the gym. He could see the look of disgust on his father’s face at home as he was thrown out. What a disgrace he was. He could see the judgment in his father’s eyes. He could also see his life as it was before. He could feel
The warm, soft sensation of Seth’s lips against his trailed through Jacob’s memory as he lay in bed Saturday morning. Real lips; not a dream of celebrities, or unbidden fantasy; real lips. It didn’t matter at the moment who's they were, they were real. Jacob’s senses wouldn’t let him forget that. His body responded to his sense memory almost immediately.He threw his arms over his face, trying to dispel the image, trying to shut it out, but it was no use. It had been real.The idea of having to go to school on Monday sent waves of dread through him. He already planned to miss his morning practice; He couldn’t face the guys on the team right now, but he couldn’t justify missing the evening practice as well. Even more so than before, he felt like they would just know by looking at him.And what if Seth hadn’t kept his mouth shut? He said he talked to the girls about this kind of stuff. What if it got out? He didn’t think Seth would do that to him, but the anxiety sti