My dreams were getting worse and draining me.. today was Thursday and I was tired as fuck like the past three days.
I slowly got up and went to the bathroom. I hated how my head worked, how I would dream about this over and over again once I start putting it back in my head.
I tried to talk on Monday and Wednesday after school but I just couldn't. I ended up crying.. she asked if he hits me and I nodded... she just hugged me and told me it will be okay and she'll always be here.. I was glad she didn't ask further than that. I don't think I was ready to tell her what my "father" did to me.
I bathed and fixed myself. I was very tired of waking up and then trying to go back to sleep. I hardly slept.
"You look like a zombie..." my sister said when I joined them downstairs and I rolled my eyes, "you look like an expired Barbie..."
She frowned, "mommmm..."
Mistakes... I remember when I was a kid and I 'mistakenly' stole my mom's car... God! That day. I knew what a hiding was and I instilled in my mind what 'mistake' meant.My father explained to me that taking something knowingly without permission wasn't a mistake... a mistake was tripping and falling... because I don't think anyone plans on that.So... for Valentia Louw to fucken stand in front of coach and say kissing me was a mistake! That was absurd. She kissed me more than once and she knew what she was doing. She didn't trip and caught her lips on mine.. she leaned over and kissed me knowingly... so her saying that was a mistake was just fucken bullshit!I was fucken hurt... I mean I couldn't even explain why it hurt like this because me and Ms Louw were nothing or we didn't even label what we were...but that didn't make it hurt any less. It actually hurt more.So she was dating coach and didn't feel the need to tell me.. we
The crowd was insanely huge and I was sooo glad I wasn't in the starting lineup. Nerves were killing me. Right about now the score was 1-0.. and yes we were losing.I got up and went to coach, "tell Anna to watch out for that number 6, infact she should help Sandra there.. these girls are sick.. I underestimated them."Coach nodded, "alright.. go sit down.. second half you're going in.. and we need a miracle.. you better be it."I shook my head and went to sit down, such pressure on me God..When I sat down I heard the crowd go crazy.. I looked at Zanele, "what...""Number 6 scored.. we are officially two goals behind.."Fuck! Really? I got up to tell coach to put two people on that shortie because she could play... she didn't do it and now we were 2 fucken goals behind."Great.. and I told coach to make Sandra and Anna watch her.. but well I'm just a player and not the coach..""So
Have you ever been told something but then later felt like an idiot because what you've been told was a fucken lie..I was so mad when I took a shower later on after the match.So they think I'm fucken stupid.. wow.. if they were hiding their relationship they fucken shouldn't be so affectionate in public. Fuck theeeeem!I was feeling very gayish for tonight's party and in order to forget what I saw earlier I planned on getting wasted and hopefully fucking someome... So I put on my black ripped jeans, white shirt and white sneakers..and then a black straight cap on to avoid my hair being all over my face and put on my leather jacket.I wrote a tiny letter for the folks when they come back..Hello parents.. Okay so Sandra, captain of the team invited me to her party.. not just me, the rest of the team to actually celebra
Jazztin Bieber Sent you a message... Hey, what does a person have to do in order to get your numbers...... It was good seeing you.Okay, so I was now going insane.. I had no fucken idea who this was and they sounded like they fucken know me alright.I stared blankly at the screen wondering whether or not to accept or ignore the message request.I mean I tried to go on their profile and check who they are but every fucken thing is private, so I couldn't see unless they were friends with me.I sighed and decided to ignore it, if they wanted to actually talk to me, they'd show some face.. Who fucken hides their profile picture on Facebook anyway?I smiled when I thought about school because Ms Louw and I were fucken amazing. Kissing a lot getting me wet.. but what kinda made me sad was how I freaked out when she touched my th
I spent the weekend at home with my little sister as promised. We drew a lot of pictures since she's seen that picture from Jasmine..Talking about Jasmine, she and I have been talking on Facebook and she's really been great company to me. I found out that she was an idiot just like me.. she could draw and dance and loved soccer. She wanted to be a dancer or a soccer player. Which was cute.Some of our conversations went like..OLWETHU LIN: And why the fuck are you 'Jazztine Bieber..?' do you want to be him?JAZZTINE BIEBER: No, he's just a twin of mine.. I can introduce you guys if you want...Yep I know, she was an idiot."That girl is looking at us.." my sister said taking a few fried to her mouth. She was pointing behind me so I didn't even bother to actually look. I just stared at Lizzie, "Don't you th
I went back to class and the day started. I was so worried throughout the first period and Ms Louw was too, she just decided to give us something to read instead of teaching. She's look at me on e in a while... I hated how this was affecting her tooMe not having anywhere else to go was my problem, not hers. But I figured she really cared.The bell rang and we all gathered our staff."Are you okay? What happened?" Susan asked the moment we got out."I'm fine Susan, It's just that Sandra is mad that I fucked her crush at her party that last Friday.. now she's fucking with me.""You fucked Jasmine at the party?" Susan asked seeming shocked and I furrowed my brows, "wasn't I supposed to?""Jasmine is a NO..""But she wanted me to.."She stopped walking and looked at me, "she did?""Yeah...""Woooow
She pushed me against wall, it was just sexy how we were both naked and just entered her amazing bedroom."It smells so fucken nice in here...." I said as she kissed my neck."You smell nice.." she sucked on my caller bone."Mhm... Baby."She hugged me and lifted me up by my ass and put my legs around her. God I could feel her muscles in my body and it just made things worse..."You are so sexy..." I said and she sighed on my ear while walking to her bed, "not as sexy as you.."She slowly laid us down on her bed, with me underneath of course. Then she connected our lips and kissed me so hard."I want you.." I whispered and she smiled, "you do?""So fucken much you have no idea...""Can I eat you again...?"I laughed, she was so fucken cute when asking for permission.She sucked o
I was a bit scared but I tried to stay calm. I walked next to him and we both got inside the car. Susan kept on screaming we need to meet tomorrow and I blew her off."Is that your friend?" He asked while starting and driving off."Susan yes...""Did you sleep at her place...?" He asked and I looked at him, he looked so calm and he was so sober.