5.

Hey Emma,

I dont know what made you so unhappy yesterday, but I'm sorry that you felt that way. You didnt have to apologise( i understand its simple courtesy) because having bad days is pretty normal. I dont even talk to anyone at all if I'm having a bad day. And if i had known what was going on with you, I would've tried harder to make you laugh. 

Btw, you not laughing is another thing you shouldnt apologise for. My attempt was lame anyways.

You asked me my question back, thats unfair. I guess what i did could be considered as weird. But not anymore, at least to me. 

Dark humor is still humor. I dont know if i prefer it to other forms of humor though. And yeah, youre right. I dont read much non fiction, much less poetry. I do read books, so i guess i could say yourr partially right. Academic books, biographies, self help books, things like that. I occasionally read mystery books, but not so much. 

You already have a guard dog, and you still want a tiger. Do you not want to have a social life?  I don't think you need anyone to tell you that you'd be pushing people away with your beasts.

Not me though. I'd risk getting killed if it means getting to talk to you. 

I cannot believe that you actually find English interesting. What on Earth is in English that captures your attention so much? That would be the only class I would fall asleep in, but for the life of me, I can't seem to fall aslee in school. 

I know, it's not normal. And believe me, I've tried to. I'm pretty sure that when we're done with the holidays, I'll drug myself so as to fall asleep in class. It's a scary plan, and I hope to actually go through with it. 

And I'll leave you to guess what my favorite subject is. I want to see for myself just how terrible you are at trying your luck. And you have five chances. Like the ones your friends gave you. 

You talked about volleyball, and I for one am impressed. You're one of the very few girls that arent afraid to get dirty. On a scale of 1-10, just how good are you? Also, football won't break your legs. Honest. I won't want anything bad happening to those legs of yours. Anything at all.

I'm not smart. I just have a tendency to pass with ease. I know that for a fact. For some reason, any one I tell this refuses to believe me. 

It's okay if you don't know what you want to do with your life yet.You just haven't seen what you want yet, and thats way better than doing something you don't have any passion for. It'll come, don't worry. Besides, every good thing takes time.

I know I can ignore this if I wanted to, and you wouldn't be able to do anything about it ,but I won't. Yes, football has sentimental value. My dad used to play football with me when I was little. He passed away when I was nine years old. And the worst part about all this is that I can hardly remember anything about him, other than the fact that he was a football lover. I could ask my mum to fill me in about everything I want to know, but I can't tell what's holding me back. 

Whenever I play football, I hope to miraculously remember something about him. I don't care what it is, anything is better than nothing, y'know?

It's stupid, I know. But I don't really see myself quitting that any time soon. 

One of the reasons I answered that question in particular was in hopes of you starting to actually confide in me. I mean, you already know I'm not a stalker or an old weirdo. That should at least put you at ease a little bit, yes?

Now I have my own questions. I'd been meaning to ask them since after you sent your first email, but I felt that was being way too forward. And it's clear that you're not exactly the kind that likes forwardness. You have to be comfortable to a certain degree before spilling anything to anyone.

The most pressing one is your sudden love for poetry. I mean, isn't it odd that someone who used to detest poetry doesn't only like it now, but actually writes it? And constantly too?

Another off thing I noticed in your letters was your statement about scaring most girls away. But then again, you said something about you and your friends playing cards when you were 14. I don't like being presumptuous, but I think that whatever happened to you that made you join One Voice in the first place must've happened when you were 14. Fresh out of middle school. 

I think what happened to you must've made you build up a lot of walls around yourself. You don't want to let anyone in, so you pretend you're a dead man walking. Something else that would probably back up that fact are your statements about not laughing a lot nowadays, when in fact, your sense of humor is top notch. 

I'm sorry if I'm coming on too strong, but like I said, I really want to get to know who you are and why you're this way. I want you to be able to talk to me. Because I'm completely sure you don't confide in anyone these days, and that isn't healthy at all. 

I'm not pressuring you to answer those questions. I just wanted you to bear in mind that I'm here if you want to talk about anything at all. I'm only an email away. 

Nate.