CHAPTER 1

Breathe. Breathe.

No. Don't breathe. Don't breathe because they'll hear you. Not a sound now.

Let your muscles curl, tense, wind around bone, pull you in to the tightest of balls. Be like marble. Like stone. An impenetrable castle. A fortress.

Don't breathe. Don't make a sound. Be still as the dead.

They're coming.

Oh God! they're coming.

There was a momentary break in the maddening beat.

A brief, but beautiful few seconds of silence filled me with a buzzing elation, as the warmth crept into my stomach, almost like butterflies, their wings tickling as they fluttered, spinning and eddying. I relished the sensation as it spread outwards, igniting my body and quickly filling every part of me, each vein, each muscle, from my toes right to the very tips of my fingers. As I held my arms aloft, I was sure I could see it, this energy, this blissful heat, crackling like lightning under my skin.

Wait for it, wait for it...

And then it came. That one moment everyone had been waiting for.

The bass-line resounded like a momentous clap of thunder, vibrating through the walls and floor, a live current that surged through my feet, forcing my legs to move. I cried out in sheer joy, my voice joining with the chorus of the crowd as we pounded the dance floor, basking in the rush that enveloped us all.

The lights flashed overhead, sometimes enough to stun and dazzle, but not enough to stop the tide of people as we moved almost as one, packed tightly together, feeding off each other's energy. Some of their faces I knew, some I didn't. Not that it mattered. We

were one. We were an entity, a constantly shifting, moving force. We were connected, by the music, by the buzz, by the euphoria.

Damn, everything felt so fucking euphoric.

The sweat glistened on my skin and sparkled under the lights and as I danced, I thought - no, screw that, I knew - that it would never get any better than this; that right now, this was it. This was everything . I would never feel as alive as I did right then. I would never feel so in touch with everyone and everything. I couldn't help but laugh, and I didn't care that I probably looked insane, dancing as if my life depended on it and smiling giddily as I moved to the music.

Whipping my body around in time to the beat, I scanned the old warehouse building, once deserted and left to rot, now filled to the rafters with moving bodies and pumping bass and my gaze naturally gravitated towards Davey - my Davey - elevated behind the decks, headphones held against one ear, his dirty-blonde hair tied back in a messy bun and loose tendrils curling down the side of his face. Every time I watched him up there, stirring the crowd into a frenzy, I was always knocked out by the sight of him, just as I had been the very first time we'd met. He was so in control, so in command. It gave me a wicked thrill just to watch him, this voyeur-ish heat that set every nerve ending on fire. When his eyes met mine - as they invariably did, always searching me out in the throng - he shot me a sexy grin, one that sent a shiver of excitement rippling up my spine and stirred something inside me that felt feral and wanton, something that wanted him so badly;

hungered for him, for this, for everything.

The tune was coming to an end, ready to fade into the next song and the revellers raised their arms in the air, spinning them round to demand the rewind and Davey, ever the crowd-pleaser - and damn , did he know how to please - did just that, and was greeted with a rousing roar of approval and more stomping feet. There was so many people, too many maybe, everyone out for the ultimate party, looking to end the year with a total banger of a night, and I knew just by looking around that we'd pushed the numbers this time. Davey's guys on the door had crammed as many in as they could and then some. It was good business sense, after all. Dangerous, sure, but the more bodies that came through the door, the more gear Davey sold and the more people would come back again and again.

Give 'em the night of their miserable fucking lives , Davey always said, and that's it, you've got 'em hooked, get 'em hooked and they'll love you more than they love their own bloody mothers.

He was right too. They always came back. They didn't really have a choice, after all, and I knew that more than anyone. I was practically an expert in coming back for more.

Hands grasped at my waist tugging me backwards and spinning me around and I grabbed at them, trying to wriggle free, when Addi's face came into focus. Davey's best mate – and our mutual friend – grinned, a fine sheen of perspiration on his forehead, as he threw his arms around me and pulled me into one of his infamous bear-hugs.

'Casey,' he shouted close to my ear, striving to be heard over the music. 'Fucking Hell, this night is huge . I swear, it'll be the night to end all nights. How are we ever gonna top this? I mean, seriously babe, fucking how ?'

I laughed again, pulling back slightly to see the spark in his eyes, part-fuelled by coke and pills, part-sheer exhilaration. I loved seeing the buzz in his eyes, that kind of mutual we-feel-the-same vibe you only get when you're both on it to the max, both feeling the same high raging through your veins.

'It's major, Ads,' I shouted back, hugging him again. 'Totally bloody major. We'll be fucked for days after this, you know that, right?'

This night was huge. Maybe even the best one ever. I could feel it. Hell, everyone could feel it. The fallout was going to be insane.

It was his turn to laugh now. 'Inevitable, babe. Listen, you okay, yeah? You've been dancing for non-stop for ages. Make sure you get some water.'

I shrugged him off, pulling out of his grasp, and keeping in time to the music as I flipped him the bird and poked out my tongue. He shook his head, smiling, before catching Davey looking our way and throwing him a mock-salute, which Davey returned.

Addi snaked a hand around the back of my neck and leant his forehead against mine. 'Babe, I gotta get going. People to see, money to make.' He planted a kiss on my cheek. 'Get some water, that's an order.'

'Whatever,' I said, barely stopping as I watched him disappear into the crowd.

The beat was hypnotic, addictive, the heat of the people around me rising, swelling, filling the air above our heads. I wasn't sure how long I had been dancing for, but I knew it must have been almost time to hit midnight. Davey's underground club nights didn't usually start till twelve, but tonight was different. We'd listen to the chimes roll in from Big Ben, then party till dawn. Well, those of us still standing would anyway.

I lifted my wrist to check my watch, frowning as the dial blurred, melted, swimming in and out of focus. Rubbing at my eyes to clear the fog, I saw it was barely fifteen minutes to go. Enough time to keep dancing for a little longer before I made my way up to the podium, where I could see the New Year in with Davey by my side and show all the little skanks at the front drooling over him that I was his girl. I was the one. They'd been hanging around all night of course, just like they always did, but I didn't care. They knew me, knew who I was, and that was enough for me. They could put it on display as much as they wanted, but come midnight, I'd be the one up there with him.

The heat was becoming stifling now and somewhere in the coked-up, thrill-seeking chaos of my brain a little voice told me it was no longer a comfortable heat, that the dial was turning into the danger zone, that I should go get that water, but I carried on regardless. Nothing was going to slow me down, especially not tonight. It seemed sacrilegious somehow, like I'd be breaking The Rules According To Casey Brogan. Casey Brogan never left mid-tune. Casey Brogan fired up the party. Fuck, Casey Brogan was the party. I never stopped. Not until the very end and sometimes even then I wasn't done.

The perspiration was heavy on my forehead and I wiped it away with my palm, frowning at the sluggish movement of my arm and the way the room seemed to fade in and out. The lights flared overhead and I was blinded temporarily, stumbling into someone on my left, kept buoyant only by the proximity of bodies. Feeling a shove from behind, I turned to see who the fuck would dare to push me.

The face that greeted me twisted into a molten mass of flesh, pulled tight over bone. White, colourless eyes stared at me. A mouth full of long razor sharp teeth turned upwards in an awful, nightmarish grin.

Convulsing in alarm, I flailed wildly, falling backwards and then the face was gone, replaced by that of just another clubber, just another girl. She reached out, looking alarmed as she pulled me to my feet, mouthing something unintelligible, her words smothered by the pounding bass-line. I struggled a reassuring smile, even though my heart was hammering faster than the beat of the music. Blinking away the white flashes of light under my eyelids, I tried to control my breathing, inhaling and exhaling deeply, my breath ragged and weak.

I was okay. I was fine. Everything was fine.

I carried on dancing, a tremor in my legs slowing me down, making me feel unsteady on my feet. My tongue felt thick and heavy in my mouth. The thirst was suddenly overwhelming and I pushed my way through the pulsating throng of people, heading towards the makeshift bar to get some water. Bodies swarmed, moving against mine, every touch making me want to recoil.

Why was it so fucking hot in here?

Not far to go now. I could see the bar. Could see the bottles of water piled high behind it like some veritable oasis in the desert. I'd never felt so bloody thirsty in my whole life.

Someone grabbed at my hand as I tried to cut a path through the crowd and I staggered to the side, strong arms catching me and keeping me upright. I looked up to say thank you and stared into the same blank white eyes as before. Same eyes, different person. A man with dead, grey skin; patches of burnt, scarred flesh with a purplish sheen like mottled bruising covering his face. He pulled me towards him, attempting to dance with me, his hands creeping into the small of my back and that face – that awful, terrifying face - just loomed closer and closer to mine.

Shrieking, I lashed out, pushing hard against his chest, struggling wildly to break free. Swearing at me, he let go and I stumbled through the crowd, desperate to get away and when I turned back, the face had gone and everything was normal again. I knew then.

This wasn't happening.

None of this was real. Of course, it wasn't. This was just me. This is what I did.

Earlier, as I'd stood in Davey's bathroom, as I'd inhaled yet another perfectly-cut line, there'd been a moment of honesty, a brief but unexpected kick of fear that maybe I'd done too much this time. That maybe my body was going to finally rebel against every little substance I'd inhaled, snorted and consumed over these last few months. And what had I done?

I'd looked at myself in the mirror, hating the flicker of fear in my eyes, hating myself for even acknowledging its existence and I'd slipped the second pill into my mouth, letting it rest there on my tongue, taunting the fear in the mirror. Fuck you , I'd thought. And down it went, sticking slightly in my throat on its way.

Actually fuck you , Brogan.

And so here it was. The rebellion. My body hitting me hard with the counter-punch. Swift. Hard. Making me see things that weren't real. Things that couldn't be real.

The water seemed farther away, the room stretching out ahead of me and the seeds of panic germinated deep, my chest beginning to tighten. I needed that water. I just needed a drink. Once I had that, everything would be okay again. I would be okay.

The lights exploded, blinding me like the furious flash of paparazzi cameras, lighting up the room and then plunging it into darkness.

On.

Off.

On.

I saw them then.

Faces snapped into sight all around me, the light picking out their white, soulless eyes and scarred flesh, their bodies twisting and writhing together and in amongst them were people, ordinary normal people, who seemed completely oblivious to the creatures that danced with them, if they even saw them at all.

How could they not see them?

I staggered, disorientated and dizzy, not knowing what to do or where to go, only that I had to get away, I had to get away from them all, but everywhere I turned they were there, grinning those awful grins. Mouths gaping wide, too wide. So many teeth; deadly teeth that could rip and tear. And as I spun around, my eyes darting around the warehouse, a moment of clarity cut through the growing fog that was threatening to take me under. An awful, heart-stopping moment of lucidity that made my legs weaken and my heart scream in terror.

They were looking at me. Every single one of them .

They'd stopped dancing and were now standing eerily still amongst the frenzied crowd, watching me as I stumbled and flailed around, no longer in control of my legs as they gave way beneath me.

Fuck you, Brogan . The pill was in my throat again and I couldn't breathe. I was on my knees, choking. In my chest, my heart hammered so hard I thought it would burst through my rib cage, a frenetic bass-line that played out on a loop, over and over, faster and faster. Sparks erupted behind my eyes, pain raging through my head, a heavy, oppressive rumble of thunder after the lightning. Fire erupted throughout my whole body, burning over the surface of my skin and surging deep into my bones.

I landed on all fours, crying out as a foot stamped down hard on my splayed hand and feeling the crush of a body as someone tumbled over me.

Fuck. You. Brogan.

Looking up, I desperately hoped that someone would see me. Addi. Davey. Anyone.

And somebody did.

Just in my line of view, standing very still as chaos reigned all around, I saw another face, not twisted or mutated this time, but a man watching me with interest, just as they were watching me. He saw me. I knew he did, but making no move to help me, making no effort to come to my aid, he just stared at me as I could no longer hold myself up, as my body hit the dirty floor hard and as the grasping hands of unconsciousness began to drag me under.

Details blurred. His face. What he wore. The way he watched me. The image of him just melted, and then he was gone, forgotten, cast aside just as everyone and everything else was cast aside.

I exhaled, short shallow breaths that hurt too much. Everything hurt too much.

Enough now, the voice in my head said as my eyes began to close and the lights began to fade. Enough.

Yes. Enough.