I walk into the cafeteria with my backpack hanging from one shoulder, ready to fall off. I catch a glimpse of Jana, Taylor, Jordan, surprisingly Trent, and even Daniel sitting at the lunch table today. In my head, I thank God for it. I like to look at him, which seems stalkerish, but I can't help it. They are schoolgirl thoughts, it's a schoolgirl crush, and it will never happen.
"Hailey Fonte, you just won't give up, will you?"
My eyes freeze at a spot on the floor, it is tiled, white with black speckles. I know that high voice all too well, and I know better than to flee. The cafeteria is silenced by her.
Glancing up, slowly, I see her long platinum hair. Her hand is on her hip and her white t-shirt glows with the words: Coldgrove Dance Team.
Daphne.
"What? Have you gone mute too? Have your lies gone to your head? You know, you have real nerve coming back here."
I knew this would happen eventually. "Look, Daphne—"
"No. You're a lair. An attention whore—"
Suddenly, Jana shoots up from her seat. "Hailey," she calls me over, waving. The entire table is looking at me, watching me struggle, not sure what to do. This doesn't happen here, not in dear Coldgrove. Daniel doesn't look strained, though, he looks calm, as he usually does.
I step to the side, ready to walk around her and join Jana, but Daphne steps in my way, swiftly. "You're not going anywhere but out the door."
My heart squeezes in my chest. Why did you do this Hailey? Why did you come back to this school? Why did you come back to Coldgrove? They hate you. They'll always hate you.
Everyone's eyes are on me. They're waiting, waiting for something. Will I leave? Will I push past her? Will I fall to my knees and cry?
The worst of the worst happens then.
Harrison Keller stands up from a table and walks over, as he does so, he calls out, "Leave her alone, Daphne."
I can feel myself starting to hyperventilate.
Daphne peers at him, who is now standing beside her. She scowls at me then drifts back to her lunch table, the one filled with other dance team members.
Like an arrow shot from a bow, Harrison's hand reaches out to me, maybe to my shoulder, maybe to somewhere else. Immediately, I flinch back. "Don't touch me!"
Maybe it was the words I said or the sound of actual fear in my voice, but the crowd seems taken back.
Jana runs towards me and slaps his arm away, shoving herself in between us. She shelters me before leading me out of the cafeteria, through the main doors. I don't dare look back at all their faces, their beady eyes.
The doors close behind us and we turn into the nearest bathroom. Jana shoo's out one girl who is standing in front of the mirror, fixing her hair. She shuts the bathroom door, kicking out the wedge, and she locks it.
The mirror taunts me, daring me to take a look at the mess standing before me. I grab the laminate counters and squeeze before tumbling to the ground. I land on my butt. Jana watches me. "Do you want to be alone?" She asks. I nod. She leaves. I cry.
I assume she's blocking off the door to any students, and I love her for that.
Mr. Russ closed the classroom door, then turned to me. I want to kiss you, Hailey, he said.
I stood against his desk, watching him near me like a starving lion, hunting in the Savannah. I was the zebra, waiting to be slain. I didn't move, I fought myself to stay.
He grabbed my hand, a baby step, then reached out to my face, caressing my cheek. I wanted to run, to cry, but I held it all back. He leaned in as he had done before, then brought our lips together, touching softly. My knees buckled. He moved his lips, I tried to, he touched my back, I squeeze my eyes shut. It was like dancing with a shattered leg.
He wanted more from me, I could feel it.
Tears slipped from my eyes, and he pushed me against his body, closing the space between us. The drops rolled down my cheek, joining the kiss, and Mr. Russ stopped. He pulled away, stared at me as I frantically pushed myself from him.
The bathroom floor is cold, dirty, no place for a person, yet I continue to sit here, leaning against the wall.
"You can't block off the bathroom!" I hear someone yell from outside.
"There's another one down the hall, now walk away," Jana's voice fights back, and I smile, almost laughing.
The tears have stopped now, and Jana peeks in for the second time. "You okay?" She calls and I nod. She then slips in and locks the door behind her. "Daphne is a bitch, she had no right."
"It's okay," I murmur, "I expected this."
"You don't deserve this," she says with fire, "what he did to you? You have to fight back! You need justice!"
I shrug. "I tried, a year ago, but no one listened, you know that. No one cares that I got hurt, they only care about Harrison, about his reputation. The only people that know what happened—the truth—is Harrison and me, and I know he is never going to come clean. Who would."
Jana falls back against the wall. "I'm sorry, Hailey. I wish there was something that I could do, something to help bring him down."
"Don't be sorry. The past is the past, and I suppose the only thing I can do now is to survive this year and move on."
Jana and I avoid the cafeteria for the rest of lunch, and instead, we walk around the campus. She talks about Tyler Bradshaw, her love interest, taking my mind off of Daphne and Harrison. I enjoy listening o her talk, especially about her date. It is nice to hear about those things, flirtation, handholding, the first kiss, words can't hurt me like actions would. I live vicariously through her stories.
As I lay on my bed, my phone rings. It's Jana. I answer and hold the device to my ear. "Hello?""Finally," she groans, "you should really answer my texts. Talking on the phone freaks me out.""It freaks you out?"She ignores me. "Something happened between Harrison and Daniel—""What," I interrupt her and swiftly sit up."Should have answered the texts, you would have known about this much sooner," she scolds me, but I could care less at the moment."Just tell me what happened."I hear her take a deep breath. "Jordan heard from Bradley that Daniel confronted Harrison in the l
The sixth-period bell rings, releasing us from the classroom. Everyone shuffles out, eager to move onto the last class of the day. Mrs. Hilliard, my English teacher, says her short goodbyes to the students passing her desk. They chime in my ear as I pack up my things."See you tomorrow.""Goodbye.""Don't forget to revise chapter twelve.""Quiz on chapter twelve is Friday."I sling my backpack over my shoulder and walk past her, but she stops me. "Hailey, you got a great score on your quiz last week, best out of all my classes." She places the perfect score in front of my eyes, sliding the graded quiz across her desk. "Do you have a strong interest in Lord of the Flies?"
I rush out of the locker room and head straight for my car. Harrison is right, I should have never come back. Ditching my last class, I jog to the driver's side and fumble with my keys."Going somewhere?"My heart skips a beat and I jump at the sudden, familiar voice. Turning around, I see Daniel standing at the back of a car, shutting the truck after pulling out a duffel bag with his name sewn on it. It's the track team bag.Realizing my red eyes and puffy face, I turn back and unlock my door. "Yeah, I'm leaving," I mutter and slide in. I shut the door before he can say anything, though I doubt he would. Like some sort of speed racer, I zip out of the parking spot and bolt down the street. My hand wipes stray tears from my face roughly, and I struggle to keep my hands steady on the wh
Instead of slipping through the side gate, this time, Jana and I walk through the front door of Trent Watts' house. Jana calls out, "we're here," and she leads me inside.The lights are dim and we join Taylor on the couch. Sitting across from her is a couple I had seen around school before. They seem to be in a deep conversation with each other, looking into one others eyes, holding hands. The girlplays with the guys, drawing pictures on his palm.Taylor smiles. "Finally, you're here. For a moment I thought you two weren't going to come.""Diddo," I mutter and crash down beside her. She has a glass set on the table in front of her. I can tell it's hers because her berry lipstick is smeared on the rim. I wonder what it is. I wonder what it tastes like. "How many times a month do y
When I first started therapy in Florida, my therapist gave me the idea of journaling. I started a journal and wrote in it for a few months, but eventually, it died off. Most of my entries lacked the topic of the incident—the reason why I was in therapy in the first place—but were about Mr. Russ and my friends in Florida. Though, I suppose they were an escape for me in themselves.With my friends in Florida, I was an actress, pretending that Harrison never did what he had done. With them, I was an entirely different person. With Mr. Russ, I was an entirely different person also. I became so in love with this fake persona that I even created a name for her, well, not created, I stole a name for her. Daphne.Yes, Daphne was my best friend before she turned on me, andDaphne, my persona, did the same.Daph
The four of us attend the football game on Friday, and it is nothing special. Coldgrove High School lost in a close game, but we left happy anyways. Many people gave me dirty looks, some even saying that I shouldn't be here, which was embarrassing in front of Taylor and Jordan. I'm sure they know what happened, but oddly, they don't show an opinion like everyone else. Maybe they believe me, maybe they don't, if they are whiling to be my friends, then who cares. People are free to believe what they want here, in moderation of course.Jana and I say our goodbyes to Taylor and Jordan before heading to my car. We leave later than everyone else, not wanting to sit in parking lot traffic. Once we are in the car, and all the doors are closed, Jana turns to me. "You didn't seem very into it."I wasn't. I hate to admit it, but I was really hopin
I can't help but watch his lips as he talks. He is like the forbidden fruit, and I just can't have him. Jana nudges me and I zip back to life. "What?""We're talking about fall break if you want to participate in the conversation. I was thinking a road trip, that would be fun."Taylor rolls her eyes. "Jana, you keep saying road trip, but a road trip to where?"She shrugs. "We have time to decide that.""Oh, I don't know if I can go on a trip. I might go to Canada and visit my Dad," I tell Jana and she frowns."That's too bad," Daniel joins in, "because I know a guy who will let us stay at his cabin up north. I've been before, he's friends with my dad. The place is insane."
"I have no idea what to bring," I say to Jana as I stare at my open suitcase. I called her over to my house to help, and she joins me at my side, also staring down."Well, you'll need pajamas for sure. Bring cute pajamas, something sweet, maybe a little girly. He's probably going to see you in them so—""Jana, I can't base this trip around Daniel. I'll drive myself insane. What is suppose to happen anyway? It's just a schoolgirl crush."Jana rolls her eyes. "That is the understatement of the year." She walks over to my dresser and rummages through my pajamas, pulling out a matching top and shorts set. The top is a blue fitted t-shirt with white polka dots and the shorts are white with blue polka dots. My now stepmother bought them for me when I was in Florida. "These are cute," J