The Storm Is Coming

My relationship with Alistair improved a lot since our first meeting, and he had visited regularly since then. We even had a tea party yesterday. 

I don't think he trusts me yet, but at least he doesn't hate me. 

Well, don't get me started about his appearance. I don't think I'll be immune no matter how many times I see that face. He'll still look like a Greek God to me, it was so unreal. 

Come to think of it, the crown prince was said to be admired not only for his gorgeous face, but also for his power in the empire. The crown prince at the frontline. I thought I could only see the situation in a drama. 

Since the frontline is literally the first place to face the enemy, most emperors or soon to be emperors, who symbolize the existence of a nation, usually took command from the rear for their safety. Being on the front line meant being arrogant or confident in their own military power.

Of course, the male lead was the latter. As evidence of this, the crown prince’s elite troops, the White Eagle Knights, were famous for having the highest survival rates while taking on the most dangerous mission.

Anyway, that also became a constant reminder for me that I was currently living in a fantasy world that somehow became my reality. It doesn't make it easier though. 

I've been having nightmares recently. It was mostly Bella's memories. But there were some nightmares about future events in the book, like when Bella killed the imperial family, and when she was being executed. 

All of that felt so real, it was like I was experiencing it myself. It scared me to the bone.

As a result, I've been very stressed due to lack of sleep. At this rate, I was very concerned about the state of my mental health.

I tried to distract myself by studying magic and making potions. Overworking myself to the point that I was too exhausted to even think about anything else. That’s what I’m best at.

At least my hard work paid off, I became quite good at concealing my mana by now. But still, I couldn't erase this hollow feeling. It was suffocating. 

***

I was walking to my study room with a book about healing magic that I was going to read when a voice from one of the rooms caught my curiosity. 

Hmm.. What are the maids talking about so excitingly?

"... It's true... I saw..."

I usually don’t like to meddle in other people's business. But for some reason, I got a bad feeling in my chest, so I moved closer to the door and listened.

"I don't know what that wench did to get His Highness favor."

Anna was talking to another maid.

"Maybe she seduced His Highness?"

"Oh my, I always knew that she is a whore just like her mother. But to even seduce her half brother, it's so disgusting."

"You know, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree."

"Why couldn't she just disappear or something? I'm so sick working in this shabby palace."

"I think His Majesty, the emperor would like it if that pest died, just like her pathetic mother."

Ahh, they're talking about me. 

More Bella haters. What a surprise. 

I clenched my fists and turned around, the book in my hands felt heavy, but not more than the stupid thing beating in my chest. 

Once in my study room, I threw the book on the floor and slammed the door shut. I was this close to throwing everything away. 

I wanted to break more things, but most of all... I just wanted to run away for the moment. 

What do they know? They don't live my life. 

So what if I'm seducing Bella's brother or not, he's not my brother. I’m not Belladonna, I’m Cho Sarang. 

Did they think I wanted to be in this situation? I'm just trying to survive. 

"I'm so sick of this."

I knew I shouldn't take what they said to heart. I've been living as a celebrity for more than half of my life. So getting malicious comments wasn't something new to me. 

But still, no matter how I adapted myself to that malice, whether it was in my past life or in this life, it still hurt.

Ignorance and coldness were also hard to endure. But what was harder than that were harsh and sharp words.

I don't want to get used to this. 

I'm scared. 

Since I was thrown into this strange world, there were a lot of things going on that I didn't know about. 

Some people hated me to the point of killing me. Everything was so fucked up.

I was just pushing myself to hold on. Pretending to be positive, to be brave, fine, happy, but... In fact, I was lonely and tired because I fell into a strange and unfamiliar place alone. 

But I don't want to give up. I really don’t.

I felt my legs become weak so I let myself collapse on the ground. I buried my face on my palms as I sobbed uncontrollably. 

If only he was here. He always knows what to say in any situation. 

I couldn't help but be reminded of him as I cried. It brought me to one of those memories about him. 

It was a rainy night, I just finished my performance at KBS and was waiting for my manager to get the car since he didn't bring an umbrella. 

While waiting, I read an article about me on my phone. It was only a few days ago when some haters spread some malicious rumor about me. Nothing new. And of course eomma already handled it, it was her specialty after all. 

So, I didn't know why I still bothered to read those hate comments. Maybe I was just curious or I might have been a masochist. I don’t know. I’m not sure myself.

I was about to read another comment when suddenly I felt someone's presence beside me. 

I lifted my head and accidentally made eye contact with the person. I recognized him immediately. Kim Taehyung also known as V, one of the members of boy group BTS.

We're the same age, but I was five years his senior. From what I’ve heard, recently his group's popularity was rising rapidly despite them being a group from a small company. Not many groups could survive for that long, especially if there’s no big company backing them. So, good for them, I guessed.

We shot a few programs together, but we barely ever talk. When we bump into each other, we usually only greet each other for the sake of formalities, just like a normal senior and junior’s relationship, that’s it. 

Well, I don’t think we’d ever get close anyway.

He was a peculiar guy. I’m not sure how to explain it. He was just too bright, too friendly, too carefree and the way he talked… he sometimes said some ‘odd’ things. But he has the ability to make everyone like him for who he was.

Meanwhile, I wasn’t bright or friendly at all. And I didn’t give anyone any reason to love who I truly was. So, in conclusion, we're just complete opposites. 

He greeted me in a friendly manner and I just nodded at him while he was still grinning like a fool. 

‘Why does he smile so much anyway? The weather wasn't even good.’

It was uncomfortable and awkward as we stood there in silence while watching the rain as we waited for our managers. 

I really wished he wouldn’t talk to me, because I thought it would be very annoying. 

I don’t usually have to worry about that kind of thing. After all, people usually avoided talking to me since I had a resting bitch face most of the time. 

But of course this guy has to be very dense. It seemed like he didn’t get the hint that I wasn’t in the mood to talk. 

"Sarang-ssi.."

"Hmm?" I tried to suppress my annoyance. 

"This is something I heard somewhere..." He started talking. "The nasty things people say behind your back are like poisoned arrows. But thankfully, the words people say while hiding have no strength. So, those arrows can't pierce your heart. However, the most foolish thing you can do is..."

‘What the hell is he talking about so suddenly?’ 

It was so random. But for some reason his words caught my attention. So I turned to look at him. Strangely, I wanted to hear more... 

"....pick up those arrows that have fallen on the ground. Then, pierce your own heart with those arrows. You get hit with arrows that you don't need to be hit with. You receive wounds you don't need to receive. I hope you don't do that, Sarang-ssi."

I felt a dull pain in my chest at his words. I didn't know what to say. So I just stood there in silence until my manager came to pick me and we parted ways. 

***

I didn't know how long I had been crying in that position. It must have been quite some time. 

My legs started to become numb, so I finally decided to get up and wiped my tears. 

I must look like shit right now. 

I dragged myself in front of the mirror. As expected, my eyes were red and became swollen and I looked paler than usual. 

But this face still looked pretty. It was crazy. 

"Come on, be natural, like nothing happened..." I told myself in front of the mirror. This was the thing that I usually do whenever I have a bad day but still have to put on a happy face. "...like Cho Sarang."

I was repeating those words like a mantra for the sixth time when suddenly I heard a commotion outside. 

I wiped the last remaining tears on my face and went out to check what the commotion was about. 

Then I saw it and my blood ran cold. 

My nanny, Elle, was on the ground. Her right ankle was twisted in a strange angle, and there were some cuts and bruises on some parts of her body. 

From her position, it was clear that she had fallen from the stairs. 

"Elle..." I rushed to her side. 

Fortunately she was still conscious, but her expression showed that she was in pain. 

"My...lady.."

"Let me help you to the couch first." 

I stopped her from saying anything more as I placed my shoulder under her arm and tried my best to help her up and carefully guided her to the couch. 

I was about to ask her what happened and heal her using my magic when I saw the maid from earlier along with one other maid giggling from upstairs as they looked down on us with a mocking stare.

Don't tell me...

Until now, I didn't care much and didn't attach too much meaning to anyone or anything here in this world. 

Call me selfish, but being in a situation like this, I promised to protect myself first. I wanted to protect myself even if it meant hurting others. So all this time I only sat on the sidelines and watched even when the other servants harassed Elle just because she’s the only person on my side. 

I'm a terrible person, I know. 

If Taehyung saw this, he would be very disappointed in me. But I still wished he wouldn't... Because I'm the most disappointed in myself. 

More than anything... I wanted to be kind. 

But the circumstances were just so fucked up that I thought I was getting insane. 

"You..." I called out, almost yelling. "... come down here."

The three maids glanced at each other in confusion, clearly they didn't expect me to raise my voice. One of them even had the audacity to smirk. But still, they complied and approached me. 

"Did you push Elle down the stairs?" 

"My lady, I'm okay..." Elle grabbed my hand, trying to calm me. 

But no, I was far from calm right now. I was angry. Super angry. I even bit my lips hard until it drew blood to suppress my magic from wreaking havoc. 

"Elle, stay out of this." 

I pulled my hand and gave her a warning look. 

I know that I should check on her injuries first. But I'm too angry to care, and my rage wasn't even because she was injured. I know right, I'm so heartless. 

"Don't make me repeat myself, did you push Elle down the stairs?"

"I just bumped into her and she fell down by herself. Probably because she was too old. She should just quit her job already." 

One of them answered without an ounce of guilt on her face.

The dull thud in my chest turned painful. It stung. My breath got caught in my throat. 

"....what?"

"Did you not hear, miss? She bumped into me and fell down because she was too old."

"Maybe it was already time for her to retire." 

The other maid added and they all laughed. 

...are you kidding me?!

It's clear that they did it on purpose. 

But why? Elle is a nice lady.

Was it because of me? Because she's the only person on my side? 

What did she do to you? What did I do to you? 

I couldn't even think anymore. I covered my face with shaking hands. I closed my eyes, trying to block everything. 

Million questions flew around my mind, beating at me, banging at me. Among these thoughts... 

Why me? 

Why did this have to happen to me? I was just trying to live. I was just going to survive silently. I know I'm not a saint, but still... Did I really deserve this? I died unfairly in my past life. So what's so wrong about wanting to live longer this time?

A strange sound left my throat as I took heavy breaths. My emotions were filling up my chest, strangling me. 

The maids looked at each other in alarm at my behavior. It was probably the first time they saw Bella getting so riled up. 

I see.. So this is what happens when I stand silently. This is what happens when I take it quietly. 

I thought I just needed to wait a little longer and let Alistair find out and take care of it for me. So I wouldn’t need to dirty my hands. 

But I just couldn't stand it any longer. Being patient was never my virtue anyway. So why am I holding back for this long? Stupid... 

.... Then I should make some noise. Let them taste the wrath of Cho Sarang. 

"To hell with you all, you assholes!"

The three seemed shocked at my cursing. 

"Was it you?"

They looked at each other with worry. 

"I asked if it was you."

My eyes stared into the ones of the maid who spoke of bumping into Elle.

"I said it was only an accident."

At her words, I chuckled. How stupid did they think I am? "Accident!" My eyes fixed onto the maid and she froze at the look in them. "Accident, you say..." My laughter continued. I know I sounded mad right now. 

I think I was finally snapping. I was finally going crazy. But who wouldn’t if they were suddenly put in this kind of situation?

I wanted to beat them up. I wanted to punch something. 

So I did... 

I slapped her face hard. 

Before she could react, another slap on the other cheek echoed in the whole room. My hand stinged from the impact. But I didn't care at that moment. 

"It seems like being quiet for too long make you forget who I am..."

My hands clenched again and my eyes flashed.

"Hey." I turned towards the other two maids who had only stood frozen as they stared at what was happening.

"Y-yes my lady?" 

Oh, so it was my lady now. 

"Gather all the servants of the palace. I want them in the hall, right away. All of them."

"B-but.." She froze at my glare. 

"Don't make me repeat myself."

At my warning tone, they scurried away without a single complaint. 

I turned to my poor nanny and put my hand on top of her shoulder, and murmured some healing magic to numb the pain. When I was done, I felt a little dizzy but it was bearable. 

"I'm sorry, I'll fix you up after this. At least I already numbed the pain." I gave her an apologetic look. 

She gently grabbed my hand and I could see some mixed emotions on her face. Worry, sadness, relief, being touched. 

"Please be careful, my lady."

I just nodded and gave her a faint smile as I took my hand from her grip and made my way to the hall. 

The servants crowded inside the hall, waiting for me. 

I purposely made a dramatic entrance by forcefully opening the door with my two hands and it opened with a bam. 

Shit, my hands hurt! How the hell are those heroines in dramas doing it so easily?

"I guess, you're wondering why I called you here." I purposely smiled gently at them, taking my time.

They had no reaction to me. Some glared, some were expressionless, some were confused. They were mumbling and muttering among themselves. They acted like I was wasting their time. 

I'm so sick of this.

I grabbed a vase from the table and threw it on the ground until it shattered into pieces. The echo of its destruction was followed by complete silence in the room. 

"Who am I?"

Nobody answered. 

"The first daughter of Emperor Frederick Maximilian Astaseul. The first princess of the Helios Empire," I answered myself as I stared at those imbeciles with rage running wild in my chest.

"The emperor may have abandoned me like a stray dog." I folded my arms in front of my chest. "But it doesn't change the fact that I'm still a princess. Do you know what the punishment for hurting a royalty is?"

Their faces went pale at my question. But it still wasn't enough. I was not satisfied yet. 

"It's death."

I stepped forward and slapped... Maid, servants, every single one of them. 

I needed to vent this anger somehow. So I kept slapping until my hands were red. It hurt so much, but I didn't show it on my face. I held back the tears as I just continued to slap these fuckers who didn’t know their place. 

"Stop!" I was in a daze so I was so startled when someone suddenly caught my hand. 

"Brother?" I was breathing heavily. 

Why is he suddenly here? 

The servants expression lit up like they were watching their savior as they gave their greeting for the crown prince. 

I glanced past him and saw a dozen royal guards behind him. 

What the fuck? Did he really come here to stop me? Did he finally find a reason to get rid of his half sister? 

"Why are you stopping me, brother?" 

I glared at him and he flinched, probably wasn't expecting his usually sweet sister to be so hostile. But I didn't care anymore. To hell with that. If I was going to die in the end, just bring it on you bastard.

Male lead? Heroine? They can just go fuck themselves. Whether the two of them lost or roasted in love for thousands of years, just leave me out of it. Why bother dragging me here? Do they really need my dramatic death just so they can become the heroes of this story?

What a bunch of rubbish!

I gritted my teeth. "Do you kn-"

"Your hand is precious." He cut my words. "Let my guard do the slapping."

Did I hear him right? 

My eyes brightened at his words. So you're on my side after all.

"Okay," I agreed. 

"Osiris." 

At his call, a handsome man with red hair and grey eyes stepped forward. 

What the... Isn't he one of the sub male leads? The one who would end up dying while protecting the heroine? 

God, even in this situation I still could appreciate his beauty. This was ridiculous.

Every time I saw those breathtaking male leads, this thought kept reminding me that this wasn't my world. 

Because that red-haired man looked so unreal, with his hair blazing like fire and icy silver eyes that reminds me of winter. Those clashing traits made him even more attractive. 

"Slap them!" My brother's voice brought me back to reality. I could feel fury in his voice.

Ahh yes, no one beats my dear brother when it comes to beauty. Even his angry voice was sexy. Tsk.. 

"Understood," the red-haired man answered and started slapping the servants one by one. 

My mouth gaped at the sight. He really didn't hold back, did he? I almost felt sorry for them. 

Alistair once again turned to his aide while still holding my hand. 

"Fire everyone in this palace." His voice was icy cold. "Have them sent to prison to receive punishment for hurting a member of royalty."

Wait, what punishment? Don't tell me he'll chop off their hands like what they did in those historical dramas? 

I stared at those servants in horror. 

"Brother, no punishment!" I interjected, completely bewildered. 

Alistair furrowed his brows at me. "But Bella-" 

"Just send them to prison, no punishment. Please brother," I pleaded. 

No matter how much I hated them, I didn't want to be tied down with the thoughts of them being punished or have their hands chopped off because of me. It was just too cruel.

Alistair was silent for a moment before he sighed and agreed. "You're too nice for your own good."

Was I? I don’t think so.

After my adrenaline calmed down, all of these crazy things finally caught up to me as I felt the floor sway beneath me and the dizziness hit me like a truck. 

"Brother..." I gripped Alistair's arm for support. "....catch me."

The last thing I saw before the darkness consumed me completely was him wide-eyed, face filled with worry.