“Eleanor, wake up.”

A smile forms on my lips as I hear my favorite voice in this world followed by gentle caress on my head.

“Five minutes more.” I mumble, knowing well that this deep smooth voice will disappear in a short while so I need to cherish it.

“Oh, really?” He whispers near my ear and I giggle as he starts poking my side with his slender finger.

“Noooo… Nathan no…” I groggily laughed as I snuggled into his warm chest beside me.

A warm hand wraps around my waist, rubbing it softly as he sighed loudly. 

I opened my eyes and came face to face with a dashing man smiling down at me. His smile is next to God's blessing and the fact that it is exclusively for me, makes me giddy with happiness.

My heart warms and races as he winks with a sweet “good morning, Ela” greeting.

I swear I am blushing and in order to hide it, I hid my face into his side; feeling butterflies to be able to touch him. This is just for me…

“Now wake up, common!” He whines and I laugh hearing his dramatic tone.

Does he know what effects he holds on me?

I let him untangle himself as he stretches his body effortlessly making my heart swoon over and over again. Mischievously, I stood upright and lurched onto him. As alert as ever, Nathan grabs me in time not before chiding me for the acting recklessly. Meanwhile, all I do is laugh out loud and not listen at all.

Nathan adjusts me and starts taking me downstairs while his phone chimes. His personal guard answers on his behalf as we descend down the marble stairs with a few maids and guards lined around this whole mansion.

“Sir, the Boss wants to see you urgently today.” Chang confirms and I frown learning that he might be late today as well.

Nathan doesn’t say a thing as he bends to let go of me. I strode to the breakfast counter and smiled seeing my favorite pancakes; made by Nathan!

“Nathan, thank you so much!” I shout seeing him flashing thumbs up at me.

My face heats up seeing his carefree attitude. He is really handsome.

“Sir, Miss Taylor is calling persistently. She wants more than just a night–” Chang realizes and shuts up when Nathan glares at him. 

However, it was too late. I had heard it and my mood dampens realizing they are talking about Nathan’s recent girlfriend. Nathan glances at me before sighing loudly and gestures at Chang, “Make it clear to her then.” 

That being said, Chang nods and leaves urgently. The kitchen fell in a heavy silence except the cluttering of heavy slicing of pancakes as I fumed in anger…

Nathan clears his throat to get my attention but I wasn’t going to listen this time. He cups my hand and I stilled.

“Hey, no girl is more precious to me than you.” He whispers with whole sincerity.

I lift my eyes and met his sincere emerald colored eyes and feel my heart clench. Even if he says so, I doubt if he means the same way as he does to me?

“You’ll be late to school if you kept staring at my handsome face.” He jokes and I swat his hand earning a chuckle from him.

“Ass!” I mutter and shut up immediately avoiding his hard glare.

“That’s a bad word, Eleanor.” He warns and I shiver involuntarily.

“Sorry!” Apologizing sincerely, I gulp down my pancake inhumanly and dash off towards my room. Scared and disappointed in myself.

Nathan could be heard behind me shouting to not run and chew my food properly. I, on the other hand, didn’t stop until I was pressed against the back of my bedroom’s door, panting heavily. My eyes met with my reflection in the full mirror and bit my cheek.

I am fifteen years old and unlike others, have a crush on a guy who is known as my guardian. He has raised me since I was seven years old. Despite being fifteen then, Nathan took great care of me. Being the only man I can trust who is extremely handsome and loving, I cannot help but fall in love with him. Even though his work is dangerous, I cannot stop but like him.

Regardless of how I feel, Nathan doesn’t look at me in that way. He sleeps around with women and I hate that he cannot see me like I do. Hearing a friend suggest to another that sometimes a person is too confused to be aware of how they truly feel. So, I wonder if Nathan was one of them.

Since the time we spend together intricacies the special moments into some normal days for him, I ponder if I really should do something about this situation. Though, the times deems fit. If I help him undiscover those feelings he has for me, there’s a probability that he will be mine… and just mine.

Knock Knock

“Eleanor, I’m heading in.” Nathan declared and barged inside my room, forcing me to make way for him.

In order to avoid him, I grabbed my backpack and headed outside the door where he stood with hands on his hips, giving me that ‘it’s-talk-time’. I sighed when he made no attempt to move.

“What?” I asked to which he shook his head and bent, sitting at my eye-level.

His sharp green eyes asking questions which made me squirm under his gaze. Nathan gently grabbed my shoulders and stroked them lovingly. As for me, a teenager whose hormones were awakened, started to feel things I shouldn’t have; nor when the opposite person had no interest in such things.

“So, what is it? Nor only you uttered a bad word but ignored my calls feeling flustered. What is it, Ela?” He asked, now cupping my cheek with his one hand and stroking it with his rough thumb.

My eyes were shut instinctively and I was embarrassed that he would see. However, I suddenly recalled what Chang mentioned earlier. He is a playboy; even my classmates tease me with that. I’m not the only one who is being touched this way; he has embraced women in more intimate ways–

God, what’s this!

Everything was coming to bite me in the back. I hadn’t realized how frustrated and angry it made me until now. How could he look at me with these eyes when he shares love with numerous women!

Unknowingly, I had let the emotions take better of me; swatting his hands off me, I shouted, “Let go!”

Nathan was taken aback. Seeing him, I regretted my actions and made an attempt to run away, hating to disappoint him once again. However, Nathan was quicker to grab me by my wrist then pulling me to him from my waist.

I wasn’t ready for this. All these past nights where I touch myself thinking about him, learning a new phase of life has started to break and crush into reality.

“Ela?” He whispered with concern. His warm breath sent tingles.

I opened my eyes and saw his face inches away from mine; love and worry etched on it. Something came over and I grabbed his face, kissing him briefly. Fear, anxiety were suddenly hit by warmth–but lived short when Nathan pushed me away; glaring with confusion.

Shocked and scared, I studied him as he flared in anger.

“What do you think you’re doing?” He demanded, restraining back his anger.

What was I really thinking?

Ashamed, I looked down, hating to be treated this way. I knew then that this is what rejection feels like. Heart broken, I stole a glance at him and what I saw broke me completely–He felt disgusted by my action. I couldn’t handle when Nathan kept wiping his lips as if–

“Answer me, Elenaor! What the fuck was that?” He asked and I let go of my wobbling lips; crying as I shouted back at his insensitive reaction–

“I LOVE YOU! I love Nathan, can’t you see that?” 


A deafening silence fell across the room and I stared at him in disbelief.

Did I really say it out loud? Now what?

Nathan on the other hand was stupefied. His mouth went ajar as he stared at me as if I was a ghost. When I couldn’t handle the atmosphere, I took off–

But this time, Nathan didn’t follow.

Was I glad? Not really! I wasn’t planning on going to school anymore–Not when I was crying in an ugly manner.


After a dreadful few hours, Mr. Chang appeared out of blue, scaring me. I knew that Nathan is aware that I wasn’t at school. Will he scold me or hate me? Maybe, both.

“Let’s go home, Miss.” Mr. Chang announced; who was I to argue. It wouldn’t end in a good way–after all, they are members of some dangerous job.

Once we were at home, I stilled seeing a gloomy Nathan sitting with the most fearful expression on his face. He didn’t wait for me to step in when he dropped a bomb on me.

“Since when?” He asked and I hesitated to answer but did.

“From quite some time.” and god swear, it felt embarrassing and wrong.


Clicking his tongue, Nathan ran a hand through his hair and gestured towards Chang who nodded and passed a few papers to him.

“You are going to a boarding school.” He said and my head snapped in his direction, not believing what I heard.

“Nath–” before I could argue or make sense of it, he cut me off mid-sentence.

“Right now!” and my jaw dropped as well as the inaudible shattering of my heart.

“Chang has arranged everything. You will not return until you’re old enough and has developed some sense. Now leave.” he said nonchalantly, dropping my heart as I couldn’t hold back and started to cry.

“Nathan please–” However, Nathan left, not even glancing back at my way.

It hurts–his indifference and his cold behavior.

Didn’t he say I was more precious than anyone? Then why is he letting me go? Am I too hard to look at now that I have confessed to him? 

Why couldn’t I keep my fat mouth shut!!!

Falling on my knees, I sobbed hard in my palms when a hand touched my shoulder gently. Hopeful, I lifted my head but was disappointed to see it was Mr. Chang and not Nathan.

“Miss, it’s time to go. Please visit the restroom, if you want.” He spoke gentler than he has always being.

I stared at the empty staircase and wiped my eyes off–

“No need!” mumbling, I left this house with a broken heart at fifteen; in a messy way.

Maybe, he is right. If I live apart, I might hate him. I surely will hate him for abandoning me right after my confession. We could have sorted things out in mature way, but it’s okay! I don’t want to see him too.

Even though I said that, I caught a glimpse of Nathan standing near his bedroom window, looking down at the car in which we left. My heart tightened seeing it but when I turned my head back, he was gone–

Maybe for good!

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