Wasn't made for me

 

I felt a burning sensation on my cheek. The impact got me falling to the ground as I spat out blood. How could I be so dumb to think that I could go against my sister? I had never won over her. I have been beaten, gagged and trampled on just to satisfy her. What made me think this would be different? How on earth do I think that Gad would accept my being mate with him? He did warn me, but I thought he was just bidding his time. Wishful thinking, right? That had always been me. "Fucking cunt, didn't you hear what she said?" Gad roared at me. He didn't even flinch when he saw me on the floor, neither did he felt remorseful for hitting my. I felt abandoned and… hurt, but for fear of another slap, I lowered my eyes and bit my lips from quivering. I had no choice but to obey, if that would stop everything. How wrong I was. I was totally and freaking wrong. Who said being obedient would take me out of trouble? I have trouble as my second, no, first name. It follows me everywhere.  I thought that if I just obey, perhaps Gad would forget about what just happened. I never knew I was in for a big surprise. "No, wait." Gad spoke up again. I raised my head to look at them, he had a smug smile on his handsome face. His white teeth sparkled as he grinned. What could he be planning? Why was he grinning like someone who wanted to do something… bad? "Don't look down just yet." He ordered and I did just as he instructed. "I have a surprise for you. Actually, it will be a honor to you."  Surprise? If it wasn't another form of torture, but I had no idea what he wanted to do. I obeyed him and looked ahead. I watched silently, drowning in a pool of my own tears, and a mixture of anger, pain and sorrow as he pulled Hanola close to his body. I should have known nothing good would come out of anyone in this pack! I watched as my mate and sister began a live stream porn, except that they weren't naked. She took her place in front of him, slowly grinding her ass on his crotch. She threw a dirty and smug look at me. I could see her smiling. I was weak and my defenses shattered. I heard her voice through the mind-link." Watch as everything you ever wanted becomes mine! Watch as I make love to your mate right in front of you." I swallowed my tears, praying the painful stab in my chest went down along with it. I should have looked away or something, but I was compelled by Gad who used his authority to keep my eyes glue on them. "Watch as I love someone else the way I'll never love you. Watch as I would give my everything to her." He spoke again. I smiled bitterly. They even threatened me with similar words. How great of a couple they would make! I continued watching my mate wrapping his arms around Hanola's waist, planting soft kisses down her neck. He cupped her right breast gently and Hanola threw her head back, moaning softly. Hanola kept grinding and moaning softly while his hands never stopped roaming around hers. Then Gad looked at me again with a smirk that seems to mock me or literally show me where I belong. "You would never have this, Koko Magnus, cause you are not worth it. What did you say again? That you are my mate?" With every word he spoke, he drove sharp claws into my chest and peeled layers of my fragile heart out, bit by bit. I had a bad feeling about what was going to happen. "And that is why, in the presence of your sister, who is more deserving of being my Luna.." "Please! Don't! Please… I beg of you… don't!" I pleaded with tears raining down my cheeks. But he was enjoying the show. I watch as he let go of my sister and then walked closer to me, looking at me straight in the eye without blinking. I tried to plead but was met with iced cold eyes. There was no trace of warmth or feeling. Then he began spitting out the words I had so much dreaded in my whole life. "I, Gad Brown, of Red Moon pack..." I shook my head firmly, my tears freed themselves once more and my eyes pleaded with him not to do it. I didn't want to experience the pain of being rejected, I didn't want to. "...reject you..." I blinked hard trying to hold back my tears. "Koko Magnus, as my mate." His last words opened the wall of defense in my heart and it shattered into unrecognizable pieces. I wondered if it would ever be mended. It was instant. I heard the sound of a blazing siren and buzzes from bees. I thought I heard the sound of glass breaking, but it was the sound of my broken heart shattering into one million micro pieces that couldn't be put back together. "Now, get out of my sight." I hesitated. I looked at the couple before me. That was supposed to be me and Gad. I was supposed to be by his side! Why was it my sister? Why must it be my sister? "Out!" He barked again.  Hanola hissed and rolled her eyes. I could see she was getting impatient, but my emotions wouldn't let me be. As I was battling with myself, I receive another stinging slap. I looked up to see my sister's vicious expression which was daring me to do something. I really wish I could but sadly I couldn't. Gad was still looking at me, in fury. Having accomplished her task, she turned her back to me and faced him. This time, they cared less about my presence. "Since you are so interested in how I love and cherish your sister, we will surely give you a good show." Gad said, grabbing my sister's butt. He started kissing her fiercely. I watched as they resume from where they stopped and I jolted back to reality. This was my reality. I turned on my heels and ran, past the courtyard, to the back of the palace building where I knew I would be alone. I wanted to cry out everything I had seen earlier, but was it even possible? I sat on the sand and wept, it was all I could do to ease my pain. I remember the day I lost my father. I remembered my mother's curses. I remembered how I was dragged by my hair all the way to our house. I was locked up in the basement without food from that night till the next night. I was hungry, yet I couldn't eat anything. I wanted to die yet I was afraid of death.  I was such a coward! My wolf didn't speak to me, she didn't assure me that we would get over this. But what was I expecting from a baby goat? It wasn't even a baby wolf! Of course, it can't do anything or say anything. "Hey Wolfie, are you scared like me too or are you heartbroken? You had better get used to it. Get used to always being rejected. That's the prize we have to pay for being different." "According to them, we are both cursed creatures and don't deserve happiness. Can you imagine? They feel they are superior over us! And they are right! That's because we really can't do anything to them." Even though I continued talking non-stop to my wolf, I didn't receive an answer. I was met with her cold silence. I knew she wouldn't answer me, but I kept talking.  I wanted to push out all the anger, frustration and pains I had been enduring all these years.  "Everyone of you are the cursed ones! I fucking hate you all! Who the hell do you think you are! Fuck you to my mate! I don't want any of you!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, but no one even minded. I was left alone to ramble like an insane person. I wailed uncontrollably. I could hardly control my pain from being rejected. I was cruelly rejected by the one I thought would always fight for me. There were so many people around me, yet I was alone. And I knew I was going to be alone for a long time. How foolish I was to think a person like my mate, Gad, would give a damn about me.  After bawling for more than two hours, I finally wiped off the tears from my eyes and built up the courage to face the future. I would definitely not forget any of the humiliation I received together. But for now, I decided to be silent. I wanted to be invisible to everyone. I don't care anymore because I believe this world wasn't made for me.