Chapter 74

ZESA RUSSO

One of the hardest things I’ve ever had the displeasure of comprehending was the funeral of a child.

I’d heard that one of the things a parent wished for was to be buried by their child when they become old and wither away like a flower. Not the other way around. This was clear to me as I drowned in my sorrows, feet marching into this black abyss called a graveyard. In the snow and frigid air, all I could hear was the heavy, pounding feet of others as we marched as one. I and Levi’s hands clenched together, gripping at each other as though the pain would subside if we squeezed hard enough. It was purely a superficial comfort to help console others, rather than ourselves.

I stood shivering next to a deep hole that had been dug where the casket would be lowered into. While waiting for the pallbearers to deliver the body, I thought about what my life would be like once mother earth swallowed him up. How it would feel to sleep knowing that his cries wouldn’t wake me up in the mi