chapter 4

Not long after he picked up my call, Hamza's deep familiar voice finally echoed in my ear.

He said one single word.

"INAYA"

I felt my heart choking with emotions instantly, I couldn't say a word.

"the meeting is adjourned," he said with a distant voice from the other side afterward, he was addressing his surroundings and not me apparently, Soon after he said this, I could hear the sounds of chairs moving and people chatting.

He answered my call in the middle of a meeting!

Ladies and gentlemen... A miracle happened!

I remember him always putting me on a hold because of his work, even when he had only small matters to do, they were still absolutely more important than I was.

The issue isn't only here, But who's freaking insane to hold a meeting at lunchtime?

Not only this .. How did he listen to what I said on the radio and issue all those orders if he was in the middle of a meeting?

This man is seriously inhuman.

"Are you not going to apologize?" He finally spoke.

I took a deep breath, barely holding myself from cursing him instead of apologizing to him, then I said;

"Mr. Hamza Filladi, I apologize for regretting the moment I accepted to marry you, I apologize too for hating you more than anything in this world, Are you satisfied now?"

"these are not the reasons you have to apologize to me for." He seriously alarmed me, he went silent for a bit, then he continued;

" how do you expect me to behave after hearing my wife crying for another man in front of the whole city, am I not a man in your opinion?"

What the hell?

" When did I cry for another man?!" I asked hysterically although I had long promised myself not to act emotional in front of Hamza.

"Inaya Habib, If your memory is that short then allow me to refresh it, today after you called a certain someone you headed to your work, then you dared to cry on your show because you were separated from him, not only you dared to attempt cheating on me, this matter for which I was very generous and I let it slide after correcting it, but you dared to cry for him too.."

I, Inaya Habib, will never admit that I cried because of Hamza Filladi even if that will make me look wrong, But there was another matter to be corrected as well, I did not cheat on him, although I will be more than glad to find a proper man to love and treasure, I'm still a married woman no matter what and I do not wish to deceive innocent people, therefore I said;

"How is this called cheating on you? I rejected this man in every way! Anyways, my personal life has nothing to do with you, to begin with, if you were not petty and given me my rightful divorce 3 years ago, you and I would have been already married and happy with other people, and we could have had children of our own by now! Give me my divorce!"

"In front of god, of people... And in the law, you, Inaya Habib, are still my wife... And I, your husband. What you did was wrong, If you don't apologize I might as well demolish the whole building where you have disrespected me when you are still my wife, you know I would do that, so you better apologize."

"Fine, I apologize, So let the station out of our private matter, I'm very, very sorry, Are you happy now?" I said with a mocking tone.

The man on the other side went silent again, then when I was about to cut the call assuming the matter was settled he suddenly said;

"I'm not happy Inaya, not even a little."

Somehow, his voice saying these words was so genuine that it made me feel weird.

He sighed, then he added to my agony:

"My secretary will call you later to inform you about your new post in Filladi cooperation, I allowed you to be idle for a very long time until you dared to betray me. It's time to closely keep an eye on you. Have a good day."

he hangs up right away.

How was i6 stupid enough to feel weird after him saying he was not happy!! May he sink in misery!

I went back to the studio to write my resignation letter and to collect my belongings, so simply like this, the career I belt as a decent broadcaster for over 3 years ended in a blink of an eye, And I had to leave the show I loved.

You see, there is no room to object to Hamza's decisions, I do not dare... Nor do I have the power to stand against him, in the past, I attempted to disobey this man and to free myself from his prison, all my attempts ended with continuous failures, then I gave up.

I got so used to the loss that now it became much easier to accept it in whatever way it occurred without complaining.

After I finished collecting my belongings, Which were very little considering the long time I spent in the station, only a few notebooks and some tools, I put them all in a bag, then I headed to the manager's office to hand my resignation letter.

" What happened today was unfair to you, pardon us for not standing by your side in this matter, we had no power to do so." the manager said to me with a troubled face.

I just nodded in understanding, then I left.

I didn't need to ask him if the suspension was lifted since it was clear that everything was settled.

I took the bus home, walked inside my empty house, turned off my phone, then fell asleep.

I gave up so many things in one day, my tooth which I didn't fix ultimately, my work, my pride, And my promise not to contact that man again.

I was feeling so down that I simply decided to sleep.

I slept for a very long time, when I woke up it was already nighttime, I turned on my phone again, only to receive a message that an unknown number tried to contact me several times in my sleep. Remembering that Hamza earlier told me that a certain secretary will contact me for a new job offer in his company, I frowned and sulked until my whole face became distorted.

I turned off my phone again, then I went to take a shower.

After I finished taking shower, I went out of the bathroom, but when I walked inside the living room I almost had a heart attack.

Because I found someone sitting on my sofa!

That Freaking Hamza Filladi!!

I barely stopped myself from shrieking like an actress in a horror movie, because of course I needed to show no emotions in front of that person, I had to deal with him suddenly sitting inside my house without my permission, like a thief, as if it was something very ordinary and didn't shock the life out of me at all.

Although my face must have turned pale from the scare and surprise, I still held my towel and continued to wipe my hair like if his existence in my house was akin to the existence of thin air.

He didn't come to my house in a very long time, I remember when I lived in the old apartment which I rented right after leaving Hamza, he used to come there this way, like a ghost, almost every day for a long time. No matter how many times I changed my lock or attempted to install a security system he still broke into my house whenever he wanted to, my privacy meant nothing to that man.

At the time, I didn't understand why was he acting so shameless! Was it an order of his father or he simply wanted to show no respect to me?!

When he visited me then, he didn't even try to talk with me nor asked me to get back with him. He simply lay on my bed and worked on his work papers like a workaholic.

At night, He simply slept beside me on the bed, then he left first thing in the morning.

I was so angry, I felt that my sincere decision of leaving him meant nothing to him, He didn't respect it, and he absolutely refused to give me my divorce!

I had a very poor state of emotions at the time, I lost a child, I had poor health and heart, and I had no left power to do anything, so I treated him as if he was a ghost at first, I didn't speak nor looked at him at all. simply sleeping on the other side of the bed and ignoring his existence beside me, patiently waiting for the day he finally leaves for good.

But when these silly actions of his continued even after a month and a half after I supposedly left him, I couldn't take it anymore.

So one night, I held a knife... I stood in front of Hamza... Then I put the knife on my neck.

The message was clear, I was going to end my life.

He looked at me with an aghast face and turned pale in a matter of a second, his hands started trembling so violently when he lifted them mid-air wanting to take the knife away from me.

It must have surprised him a lot that I was actually this desperate, he immediately stood up from the bed where he was lying and working on his laptop while standing in front of me... He kept staring at me like a statue.

I was in no way suicidal, my will to survive is even stronger than that of a grass growing up in the middle of a highway and getting stepped on by the passing vehicles. I desperately wanted to live... And I wanted to live without Hamza even more desperately.

But somehow, he actually believed that I was going to hurt myself... He thankfully believed my act.

" is it that hard to stay with me?" He finally asked.

I felt relieved that he was alarmed at least, I replied;

" yes, seeing you is torture, I just want you out of life... Since you refuse to leave me alone then I'll leave for good."

He kept staring at me, not saying a word, I was only praying he was seriously considering the words I said.

But what he finally said made me go hysterical;

"It wasn't only your baby Inaya who was lost, it was mine too... I had lost my son too! Do you think it hurts less for me?"

"DON'T YOU DARE MENTION MY BABY!" I shouted at the top of my lungs.

I felt every drop of blood in my body boiling in anger, I hated Hamza loads more.

How dare he speak about the baby! I lost my unborn child because of him!

I started to breathe quickly and deeply.. although I wanted to control my emotions, I failed to do that.

I threw the knife I was holding in front of him in anger not wanting to act even more stupid in front of that cold man.

but unbeknownst to me, the sharp blade I threw suddenly bounced from the floor due to the strength I used and it cut the ankle of Hamza's left foot.

At the moment, i6 was too consumed in my emotions to notice it anyways, I continued to shout "Every time I see you I'm reminded of what happened, I already hated you in the past, and now I can't even stand the sight of you anymore, sometimes I feel thankful that my baby had left very early and didn't meet a father like you__"

"you had crossed your limits." he interrupted me with a calm cold voice.

I felt scared right away, so I stopped throwing a tantrum.

he suddenly started walking towards me... I felt terrified instantly, was he going to hit me??!

Hamza is such a huge man compared to my petite frame... If he hit me then I'll be seriously injured if not dead!

The idea of being physically hurt already started making me tremble so hard and feel nauseated, my phobia launched.

But what happened next simply extinguished all my nonsensical thinking, Hamza just walked pass me and left the room.

After he left, I stood still just looking at the closed door in confusion.

I thought that my attempt at rebellion failed, so I turned around again wanting to collect the knife from the ground. It was only then when I noticed what I did, The blade was stained with blood! The floor was full of drops of blood! The drops followed Hamza's footsteps!

My heart almost stopped thinking that when he said " I had crossed my limits" he meant crossed my limits by hurting him physically!

I was dead meat for sure!

I opened the door, then I went after him to fix what I did and see how he was doing.

I heard the sound of running water in the bathroom, so I went there in a hurry. And I found Hamza there.

He was standing at the sink, putting his head under the tap while water was running on him, his hair was totally damp, the collar of his shirt was wet, and his hands held the sides of the sink so tightly that his knuckles turned white.

what was worrying me though, was that he was bleeding from somewhere, I inspected his whole body carefully until my eyes fell on his left ankle, and blood was dripping from there.

You see, my phobia sometimes attacks even when I see others in hurt, and this was exactly what happened there, I felt terrified when I saw that Hamza was injured.

_"Hamza... Your ankle is bleeding." I hardly managed to say.

He lifted his head from under the tap... He looked at his reflection in the mirror, then he just walked pass me again towards the living room.

He weakly sat on the sofa and buried his face in his palms.

I immediately went to bring the first aid kit and then handed it to him with shaky hands.

I couldn't dress his wound... It was simply impossible for me to do this without passing out.

He was still pale, his hands were still shaking. For a moment I forgot how this man ruined my life and I felt guilty for acting this careless.

I knew he didn't care for me, but not to the extent of not being affected if I threatened to kill myself because of him... I went too far.

" I'm so sorry... I didn't mean to hurt you" I apologized finally.

He lifted his face to properly look at me, so I kept looking at his wet state .. his damp hair falling on his forehead and the water from his head and neck and wetting his clothes.

And his red eyes.

Seeing those red eyes... I couldn't look away, I only kept staring at them.

Somehow, I wondered... Was the pain I was seeing inside them true and honest?

That man, he didn't say a word, he didn't care for me before, then why was I feeling so guilty just looking at those eyes?

He soon took the kit, and started dressing his wound, while he was doing that.. he finally replied;

" No, you meant to hurt me Inaya... You meant to hurt me deeply and you had succeeded."

I didn't say a word... I only observed him silently.

After he finished cleaning his wound, he didn't tell me whether it needed stitches or if it was a small cut, and I didn't dare to ask.

He closed the kit and threw the cotton in the trash.

then he went back to my room, few moments later, he walked out of there holding his bag and coat.

He put on his shoes next .. then he simply left the house without turning back to look at me again.

That was the last time we ever met for a long time, after that night, he never came to see me again for 3 years, nor I went to meet him.

And this way, we were strangers for 3 years.

That is until I found him inside my new house tonight... Sitting on my sofa.

And somehow... It felt as if he never left me before.