“Ben called me on Saturday night,” Sharon says a few days after my date with James while we’re getting coffee after our shifts at the diner. “Yeah, sorry about that,” I say sheepishly.“I’m happy to cover for you, but next time give me a little warning, okay? I’m not good at lying on the fly.”“Hopefully you won’t have to cover for me again.”“Did you and Ben finally have that talk?” she asks, misinterpreting my words. “I’m so proud of you, Izzy. I know it can’t have been easy but—”I hold up my hand. “We didn’t. I wanted to, but when I got home on Saturday, he told me I’m not allowed out of the house for anything other than work, getting gas or food.”“Where does he think you are right now?” Sharon asks. “At work. I told him I was working til three,” I say. “Yikes. Sounds like he’s really going overboard on the whole big-brother protectiveness instinct.” “It’s more than that,” I start, the knot in my chest tightening because I don’t want to talk about this with anyone, bu
“Where are we going this time?” I ask as I walk up to James. It’s our second date, and he’s scheduled it for the middle of a Sunday afternoon. “You’ll see. Come on,” he says, grinning as he takes my hand in his and leads me down a barely discernible path in the woods. I can’t help echoing his smile as I follow him. “You said you have a couple of hours, right?” he asks as we take a right turn deeper into the woods, where the trees are so dense their branches block out most of the light.“Yup. I don’t have to be back until four.”I told Ben I was going with Sharon to the farmer’s market this afternoon. She’s taken Lisa along with her to pose as me in case Ben checks up on me, and because it’s absolutely freezing and sunny outside, Lisa is wearing a scarf that covers her mouth and sunglasses that hide most of her face. If Ben thinks I’m lying and goes to the market, he’ll see Lisa’s hair, which is naturally the same color as mine and is pulled into my signature ponytail, and her
“Sit down,” Ryan says, and I obey him, not just because he’s my alpha, but because I’m too tired to resist. I haven’t slept since my disastrous second date with Isabel.Ryan takes a seat across from me at his desk and stares into my eyes.“You look like shit.”“Thanks. I know.”“Are you having trouble sleeping?” he asks.“Yeah. Just a lot on my mind,” I shrug. “I know the feeling. These rogues have been driving me crazy. I can’t function knowing they’re nearby. It’s like I can feel them watching me,” he says with a shiver. I want to tell him to stop exaggerating, stop making up imaginary threats to our way of life, but I don’t have the guts. It’s a problem I’m struggling with in all areas of my life right now. “I wouldn’t worry too much. Our patrols are going like clockwork, and there haven’t been any new alerts for a few days.” “But the ones the other day were bad. Three rogues. That’s what the guards say they saw. Prowling around our property boundary like this land is
“Isabel! Careful! Any more broken plates are coming out of your paycheck,” Clyde says to me. He isn’t yelling despite the fact this is my fifth broken plate of the day, and that, more than anything, freaks me out. He’s being too nice to me. Because he pities me. “You okay?” Sharon asks as she kneels to help me sweep up the tiny pieces I can’t pick up with my hands. “No. I am definitely not okay. I’m terrible.”“I’m guessing the second date didn’t go as planned?” she asks as she stands up and carefully walks the dustpan full of broken china to the trashcan under the counter. “I ended up leaving ten minutes into a romantic picnic he’d set out for us,” I explain as I stand next to her and dump the larger shards into the black bag. “Yikes. Have you talked to him since?” “No. He’s tried texting me, but I haven’t responded. I don’t know what to say. We tried having ‘the talk.’ I use my fingers to make air quotes. “He wouldn’t engage. It’s like the second we talk about real-world
“How was work?” Ben asks when I get home. He’s stationed on the couch, ostensibly playing video games, but I know he’s really waiting for me. Ever since his decree last week about staying home, he’s coincidentally been in the living room whenever I get back from my shift, or from being out. He must have had to switch his work hours around to do this, which shows his commitment.“Fine,” I say, going into the kitchen.“Want anything hot to drink? I’m gonna make myself a cup of tea,” I holler over my shoulder as I fill up the kettle.“I’ll do that for you,” he says, rushing into the kitchen and taking the kettle right out of my hands. This is another one of his new habits: he now tries to wait on me, hand and foot. I think he’d follow me around all day if he could. I feel like I’m a prisoner. “Ben, I’m perfectly capable of making myself a cup of tea. I think you’re taking this whole protection thing a little far,” I say.“You work hard, Bel. I’m just trying to help you out.”
I sprint as fast as I can, but their growls are so close that I can feel their hot breath on my fur. Teeth nip at my heels as I make a harsh right turn. It doesn’t work like I’d hoped; I don’t run away from the wolves, I run into them.Seven of them, all crowded in a circle and ready to pounce on me the second my fur touches theirs. Mouths grab my paws and I’m flipped onto my back, the starry night barely visible above me. My heart is racing and I can’t breathe, can’t think. All I feel, all I am is fear. I whine as they drag me across the dead leaves and fallen branches. I try to lift my snout to smell for James, but one of the wolves whacks me on the nose. Tears form in my eyes from the sharp hurt, and I hate that they’ve reduced me to a whimpering animal Someone must have slipped something into the water they gave me when we arrived at their compound, because when I wake up, it’s morning.I’m lying on a thin mattress in a cold white room without windows. My clothes are to
“You know, I wish you weren’t my mate,” I say, once we’re out of earshot of the others. I’d like to say it in front of everyone. I want everyone to know my true feelings about him. I want everyone to know what a coward James is. But I still won’t stoop that low.For James, it’s not just his pride on the line. It’s also his place in the pack that’s at risk. And though I resent him for not choosing me, I still begrudgingly respect what he chose. I won’t take that from him. “I wish I never met you,” I continue.The words sound wrong. They feel clunky and awful on my lips. They feel like flimsy lies I’m saying to try to make myself feel better, but it’s true. James has caused me nothing but hurt and trouble.I can see the hurt on his face as I fling these words at him. But he deserves it. He deserves to feel the intense pain he has put me through.“You let me down every single time you get the chance to,” I say. “And I’m so done with dealing with you. Don’t you ever try to tell me
“I’ll be back to talk with you again later,” Ryan says as he leaves the room. I try not to show my fear, but I do feel it. I wish I didn’t. I hate this sick feeling in my stomach that tells me something is wrong, that begs me to find a way out of this impossible situation.I am afraid though. I don’t know what they do to rogues. If the treatment I received on my way here was anything to base my future on, I’m in big trouble. Still, I remain strong.I don’t respond as Ryan walks away. James follows him without a response as well. And I’m left alone again.It’s not torture, of course. Not in the literal sense and I’m grateful for that. But the boredom, the sameness is a certain kind of torment. There’s nothing here to do except think about what’s going to come next and what has happened.There’s nothing to do but think of James for hours upon end. To think of how much I love him and hate him. He betrayed me and yet I still feel drawn to him and I hate myself for it.I resume exerc