Ch.2~Jodie

Jodie

I swear the Moon Goddess must be messing with me. That’s certainly what this is. First, she gives me a mate who doesn’t love or want me… and now, just when I finally decide to give up on this bond that’s been choking me for years, she gives me a child.

Your timing is cruel, dear Goddess. I feel a burn in my chest, standing there holding back the heat threatening to burst out.

I’ve wanted a baby for five years, prayed for it, dreamed of it, imagined holding someone who would love me without needing a reason. But this… this is the worst timing imaginable. I can deal with my pain, even my health, but what about this baby? What kind of life would it have with parents like us? My husband—my fated mate—doesn’t love me, the mother. So how…?

I can’t even see the possibility of Calden loving this child, not when I’m the mother. He finally got rid of me, and now fate drags me back into his life in the one way he can’t ignore. Right… he’ll just think it’s one of my tricks to selfishly hold on to him again.

And yet, I have loved Calden wholeheartedly for the past five years, but all his attention and love has been for Enid… I never mattered in any way. The only moments I ever felt happiness were the times he came to me for his own pleasures, or his rut—which, of course, as his fated mate, only sex with me would quench his thirst and lust. I cherished those little moments even though they weren’t completely about me but his needs, because he smiled and treated me so tenderly in those moments.

I take a deep breath, but I can still feel the huge lump in my chest. I breathe in and out again. My hand gently rests on my flat stomach. What am I going to do now? There’s already too much chaos to take in. What the fuck am I going to do, huh?

Evelyn’s voice snaps me out of my thoughts. “Jodie, you look really pale. Are you okay?” Her brows draw tight. “Follow me, I’ll do another check-up on you immediately—your previous test results already showed your pregnancy was unstable.” She wraps her hand around my wrist to pull me along, but I halt her.

“Uhm—why don’t you go ahead first? Give me a moment, I’ll come later. I… I just want to be alone for a while,” I manage to breathe out. “You know, the sudden news disrupted all my plans.”

Evelyn doesn’t move for a moment; she looks at me with pity and nods. “Alright, but don’t stay too long, Jodie, okay?” I smile faintly at her.

Once she’s gone, the hallway feels too quiet. I lean against the wall, trying to steady my breathing. My world is spinning, and I just need a second to catch it before everything falls apart again. My heart is pounding as I turn to walk back toward Enid’s ward, my feet barely touching the floor.

How do I break this news to Calden? How will he react?

“Why won’t you answer me?” I hear Enid whine as I get close to the door. But Calden doesn’t say a word back. I pause right at the door.

What unreasonable request is she making this time? But it doesn’t matter—he’ll give her whatever it is she wants.

“No—I’m married,” Calden finally responds, and my breath hitches. He is married? Did I hear that right? Calden actually said no? To Enid? I’ve never heard my husband acknowledge this marriage for any reason, but he’s saying those words right now to the one person he’ll never want to hurt?

A small, ridiculous hope flickers in my chest. I clutch my shirt. Could it be he is reconsidering the divorce? If so, then maybe we can raise our child together. I cling to that foolish hope even though I should know better. Calden said it was me who wanted the divorce—and maybe he’s right in a way. But the truth is, he’s the one who's been acting like I don't exist, what would I be doing there when he doesn't even look at me half as he looks at Enid?

For the past few months—no, from the very beginning—our marriage has been as good as dead. I bite my lower lip; even thinking about it makes my chest throb.

A few weeks ago, Enid’s gene surgery was successful. I knew instantly that marked the time for the marriage to fall apart. Enid would recover gradually, and I… I didn’t want to be under the same roof with my husband and the woman he loved. I can’t even call her a third person because, in reality, I feel like the third one. So I decided to step away.

Even though I am Calden’s fated mate, that bond has never felt like a blessing—only a cruel reminder that fate can be painfully unfair.

I sniff back the sob bubbling up, my finger flicks out a drop of tear at the corner of my eye.

But if that’s true, why hasn’t he told her about the divorce yet? Enid would be thrilled to hear it. So what’s stopping him? Could it be that he actually doesn’t want to go through with the divorce? Dear goddess, just this once, please it should be the case at least.

Before I can think further, her soft sobs reach my ears. “It’s all my fault,” Enid cries. “Because of me, you had to marry her. You’ve sacrificed so much for me.”

“Everything I did was worth it. I won’t let anything happen to you.” Right, that response did it.

I close my eyes, the tiny spark of hope snuffed out completely. That’s the truth then. There’s no misunderstanding—he did it because of his love for her, not me. After all, he agreed to marry me only because I said I would donate my blood to Enid if he did. This is my role in this marriage—nothing more than a blood bag. Enid’s recovery depends on my blood.

But that’s just him being way too eager. because whether he married me or not, I still would have donated blood to Enid—she’s my sister. Even if I refused, my parents and my brother would have forced me to, regardless of my choice.

Through the small crack of the door, I see her crying into his chest. Then she lifts her face and kisses him gently. Calden doesn’t pull away. The sight makes me feel like my stomach is turning inside out, I can't look for another second, all I feel is a hollow ache in my chest as if the world had gone cold around me.

Enough. I should really step out—this marriage has always been too crowded for three.