I decided I’d had enough and would look for him. Find out where he was and ask if I could go and see Jen for the day. I hadn’t spoken to her lately and I was feeling guilty about it. She’d tried to be in touch, but I’d spent most of the day eating, reading with Ricardo, and the rest of the time fantasizing about him. He knew I had no money, yet he’d given me a choice. I reflected back to dinner nearly a week ago and decided maybe there was a way to get to him. Part of me felt sorry for him. His dad was dead and maybe he was the only one he could relate to, and now he was alone trying to figure out his place in life. I didn’t even know how old he was, or anything about him apart from him being part of the mafia.I wandered around the house like Alice wandering in Wonderland, wondering where he was or what he was doing. I must admit for a mafia king, I didn’t think he would be inside this much. I thought he would be out and about like he’d done the first moment I came to live here. “He
I was so fucking embarrassed about what happened at the pond. Lourdes told me Adrianna left last night and Ferd had taken her. She was back and getting ready to join me at breakfast. I didn’t think she would come back; I wouldn’t if I was her. If she knew what I was capable of, then she would stay hidden. “Oh, you’re here,” I said as I entered the kitchen. I tried to hide the relief she had come back, but I was sure she saw it written all over my face. She smiled. “I have a bad hangover and I need much TLC, aka coffee.” I wondered for a split second if her reference to a hangover was a punt at me, but then I saw the way she was filling her coffee and with her sunglasses neatly covering her eyes, I realized I was being paranoid. “Good night?” I could do this. A light-hearted conversation could lead to us connecting and talking like normal people. This was how it worked. I’d never needed to do it but felt the urge to do it right now. “Yeah, girls catching up and my friend is gettin
Ricardo went out yesterday, he said to look for Juan and Diego, but it seems he didn’t find them. I’d planned to meet up with Jen, but when he came home and I saw him sitting in the library, I knew what he wanted to do. He wanted to get drunk, he wanted to get wasted like he had by the pond. I managed to distract him, managed to give him something to do outside of the house, and it worked. I just didn’t know if I could do it every night. Part of it felt like too much hard work. It was as if I was putting all his needs in front of mine, buying time maybe, but it gave me a purpose, and I loved being with him. And even more, I loved him being inside of me when he wasn’t drunk. He was a completely different person when he wasn’t drinking, one I could imagine not only spending another thirty days with, but a lot more.“I want to go to the Chicago Symphony again. It was magical, the night you took me. It was fantastic. You have a different side to you, one I didn’t even think existed.”He
I could tell by the way she looked at me, I disgusted her. I could tell by the way she ran up the stairs as if she was competing in the Olympics. She ran not only up the stairs, but to her room, so she hadn’t left yet. I should go up there, to try and reassure her, but I would be lying to not only her but myself. I got a fucking kick out of seeing Gold whimper. I heard from the hospital that they had spent all night trying to fix his cock back on. Fucking waste of space, as his wife would have to spend her days having to bring him back to health. I made sure she knew she’d be wasting her time. I ensured there was enough evidence of every single time he fucked someone else, or even worse threatened a woman who would lose her job, even one where he offered to pay her husband’s medical bills if she fucked him. She did, and Gold never paid. She lost her job, her home, and her dignity. I made sure all this landed on Mrs. Gold’s doorstep. I had videos, pictures, and all the rest of it, and
I closed my eyes, as I thought about what Ricardo said, and the idea of him nearly killing a man like Gold felt justified. Ricardo only killed or hurt bad guys, so that was okay? He wasn’t the real monster in this story. The only violence I had been exposed to was my aunt once shouting at my uncle for being late. I was so fucking confused, not only about him, but I had been feeling so hormonal lately. I sighed as I considered how bad I was smelling. I didn’t notice, or rather didn’t care earlier, but after being scolded by Ricardo, I decided I was in much need of a shower. As I took off my clothes, I started to get the usual cramps I did whenever my period was due; it confirmed what I already suspected, it was due any day now. This why I was feeling emotional, and the sight of seeing a man’s dick nearly beaten off was a sight I wouldn’t forget in a hurry. I shook at the idea of it as I entered the shower, and the hot water started to remove not only the smell, but the fear I had of R
I hated the way she looked at me, as if I was a monster. The one that I’d kept hidden from her after the time she’d spent in the dungeon. I’d shoved the real me aside, thinking that she would forget about it. How could she?I took a nap after we had lunch, and then I went around town to do some business. She wanted to catch up with her friend Jen, her best friend. The thing loved the most about Adrianna was the fact she’s hardworking; she could have lounged around the house acting as if she was the queen of the castle, but from day one, she’d involved herself in helping around the house and more than once, she’d taken recipes from Lourdes so she could cook my favorite meals. She may not have been Mexican, but she was more than a wife to me and I’d only known her for five weeks now. Yet, the episode with Gold had completely changed us. It was as if we were the same two strangers again, and I had to figure out a way to change things, before they got even worse. I couldn’t help who I
I tried to catch-up with Juan, but he was out of the door, by the time I got there. All I saw were Diego’s jeep wheels speeding away, as I watched the back of his car. Ferd, Ricardo’s other driver, was an ex-SEAL and in his mid-fifties. He was a loyal driver among other things, or so Ricardo told me. He was waiting for me outside and stood patiently as I watched Diego’s car, wondering whether to tell him to follow Diego or to go and meet Jen. I decided as much as I was caught up in this whole gangster life, I was kidding myself. I didn’t know how these things worked, aside from this whole loyalty thing all of them working together and acting like one big family. I was an outsider. They wouldn’t tell me what was really going on. In time they would; patience was a virtue and I had to exercise it. It felt like forever since I had sat down with Jen and we chilled, and besides when you’re with one of the big men in town, getting a seat at Prime and Provisions was a lot easier than I ever
I was drunk, tired and passed out on the sofa by the time I looked up and realized it was daytime. Fuck, how long had I been like this? I looked at my phone only to notice a whole day had passed. I couldn’t believe a day had passed and I’d done nothing.I got up and headed to my room. I hadn’t done something like this in a few weeks, I’d stopped the moment I got up close and personal with Adrianna. As I walked up the stairs, waited at the top. “Buenas, como está tu marido?” “Bien señora, Adrianna is in the garden.”I could tell by the disappointed look on her face she’d caught me in the library one too many times. She probably thought I was up to no good, once again. “I cleaned the glass in the library,” she said as she passed me walking down the stairs. I stopped and then I continued walking, feeling embarrassed not only had she seen me in such a state, but she’d seen the results too many times, I was hoping to be better. How the fuck could she respect me, when I was struggling to