Ricardo

It’d been a week since I left home. I knew I shouldn’t have left Adrianna. I should have told her something, anything, including letting her know it had nothing to do with finding out about the baby. I had so much shit making me feel as if I was going crazy running through my mind. I’d suppressed the memory of killing Pa, and I needed to get it all out. I needed to relive the nightmare of the night, to know step-by-step what happened, and to know I was the one who was capable of committing it. I’d suppressed my memory so much so, I’d gone on a wild goose chase. I’d let Juan think I’d gone completely insane by trying to find Pa’s killer, when all along it was me.

Adrianna was in the library when I came home, all curled up on a chair reading, and I didn’t hesitate in telling her what was going on in my head. I knew there was no way I could ever forgive myself, but I had to know if she could do it, or rather if she would?

“I’m a fucking monster,” I repeated, over and over again.

Adrian