Chapter 3

NYLA

I didn't care about what I was doing. I ordered the driver to take me to Marisol's house. Immediately I got there, I instructed him to leave. I used my spare key to enter her apartment but she wasn't home. I sat in silence for a few minutes. Then I heard her keys jiggling in front of the door.

“I need to hear it from you,” I said the moment Marisol opened her door.

She froze mid step like the world suddenly stopped moving around her. “Nyla… oh my god you look pale. Are you okay what happened after I left, I was about to–”

“Cut the crap, I already know,” I whispered, my voice sharp from holding everything in. “Evans told me.”

Her lips parted and she leaned on the door frame as if her knees couldn’t carry her guilt. “Nyla, wait let me explain. It isn’t what you think, I never meant for any of this to happen.”

“Then tell me what I’m thinking,” I said, stepping inside without waiting for her to invite me. “Because right now, all I can think about is how you held me every time I cried about Evans and then you crawl into his arms after.”

Her eyes instantly filled with tears. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, The first time it happened, I panicked I thought that would be the end but things just… just got messy Ny,”

“Messy?” I repeated quietly. “You call sleeping with my husband messy?”

She covered her face with both hands. “I didn’t mean for it to happen. He was going through things and I was stupid and vulnerable and I swear to you Nyla, I swear I tried to stop it,”

“Did you?” I asked. “Did you really try?”

Her breath trembled. “Nyla, I am so sorry please you have to understand, he came on too strong, and it wasn’t like I wanted him I just I didn’t know how to say no and I swear I was going to tell you.”

I blinked at her slowly. “When Marisol, when exactly were you planning to tell me before or after he fell in love with you?”

She shook her head vigorously. “Please, don’t talk like that. I can't breathe with how guilty I feel especially after the pregnancy reveal. I am so sorry Ny, If I could undo everything I would.”

I wanted to scream, I wanted to hit something, I wanted to collapse in tears again but her tears made everything feel heavier like I didn’t have the strength to be angry the way I wanted to. “So you knew about the open marriage thing,” I whispered.

“He mentioned it,” she said quickly.

“He mentioned it?” I asked again.

“He suggested, but I felt horrible immediately and I told him I don't want to be a part of that. And I kept telling myself I needed to fix it with you.”

“You felt horrible but you kept spreading your legs even wider,”

I stood there quietly letting her talk, letting her fill the silence with excuses and regrets and words she should have never been able to say in the first place.

“Nyla, please don’t look at me like that,” she said softly. “You’re my best friend and you’re the only real person in my life. I never wanted to hurt you. It just got too deep before I realized what was happening and then the guilt ate me alive every day.”

“Then why didn’t you stop at least?” I asked again and her silence was louder than any answer she could have given.

She slowly reached for my hand but she didn’t touch me yet she waited for permission. She waited for me to pull away or step back but I didn’t move.

“It shouldn't have been you, Mari.”

“I lost myself,” she whispered. “I wasn’t thinking. I kept telling him it had to stop but he kept showing up, and Evans is not easy to push away.”

“I nearly lost my damn mind today,” I couldn't think of doing life with Marisol, without my best friend. I tried giving her the benefit of doubt but the betrayal was overwhelming.

“I thought maybe he just needed space, but then he told me he wanted an open marriage. That was when I wanted to tell you everything…. but then I couldn’t breathe when you told me about your pregnancy, knowing what that meant for you and I couldn’t be the one to destroy your whole world.”

“You already did,” I whispered and she broke right there like glass falling from a table.

“I know,” she cried. “I know and that’s why I want to make it up to you please. I know it sounds stupid but let me try to do something to make even a fraction of this right.”

“How do you fix something like this Marisol? How do you make up for betraying me, I trusted you to never hurt me.”

She moved closer. “By being here,” she said softly. “By choosing you now, by cutting him off completely, by doing anything you need. Anything Nyla I don’t want to lose you, I can’t lose my person.”

My chest tightened because the way she said it felt real. Some part of her truly believed she was broken and guilty and desperate for forgiveness.

“I will need some time to process all of this,” I turned my face away.

“I understand, take all the time you need. I will be here waiting, Nyla.”She wiped her face with her sleeve.

“Listen, there's this new place that opened downtown. It's quiet and warm. I thought maybe you and I could go there together, clear our heads, catch up like before. I just want to give you something peaceful even if it’s small.”

“I am tired, I just want to sleep and forget about today.” I said instantly.

“Nyla, please just one hour you don’t have to talk, you don’t have to do anything. Just let me just take you there. You need to sit and breathe and I promise I won’t mention Evans or anything heavy. I just want you to rest a little please, do it for your baby, you need peace.”

I rubbed my forehead because my head was pounding and my heart felt like it was being squeezed from the inside. “I don’t want to be around people,” I said.

“It won’t be crowded. I checked already and if you hate it we will leave immediately. I won’t force anything on you. I just want to pull you out of that emptiness I saw on your face earlier.” She held my chin and I could feel my anger slowly slipping away. “Nyla, you looked so devasted, I have caused you so much agony. I need to make it up to you.”

Her voice cracked on the last word and something in me softened because for a moment she seemed like the friend I grew up with. The girl who held my hand in school when I had my first heartbreak, the one who stood beside me when my mother died, the one who slept on the floor beside my bed the whole week after the funeral.

I sighed. “Fine,” I whispered. “But only for a little while.”

She exhaled like she had been drowning. “Thank you Nyla I promise you won’t regret this.”

We walked to her car together slowly and quietly. Even though everything between us was fractured and painful there was a small part of me relieved that she was still here with me. And I wasn’t walking through all this alone.

When we drove off she reached for my hand again this time she actually held it and I let her. The city lights blurred outside the window and for the first time that day I felt the tiniest bit of relief settling in my chest like maybe I could rely on someone again even if it was the same person who hurt me. Maybe she truly felt remorse, maybe she truly wanted to fix us.

I will never let a man come between my friend and myself. It will take time and time, they say, heal all wounds.

After a few minutes, we pulled over to an isolated area. It didn't look cozy at all.

“We are here,” Marisol's voice pulled me away from my thoughts.

“Where exactly are we?” I questioned as she got down from the car.

“You will see,” She smiled softly as I forced myself out of the car.