2

When you have everything planned in life, you know that something can always go wrong.

Because if something is clear to me, it is that things never go as you expect.

Finish high school, get a scholarship to study abroad, or go to one of the best universities in Brooklyn with your best friends; finish my degree, have money, a house, a life ...

But suddenly, something goes wrong, that switch is turned on that has to screw everything up, that damn switch. And you don't know what to do anymore. You are lost and aimless, you have lost the anchor that held everything, your point of support, and you just want to go back ...

It's been two weeks since I found out about her loss ... Just two weeks and it feels like years. But I can't stay permanently in shock. My father always taught me that I must get ahead despite everything, and now more than ever I am not going to fail him.

-Honey, there are fifteen minutes until high school begins. - My mother watches me from the doorframe of my room with compassion in her eyes. I hold Alison's silver necklace in my hands, the one she always wore with a small daisy dangling. She loved those stupid flowers.

I look at myself in the small mirror on the dresser, it shows by my appearance that I have not slept for days, I have been having nightmares since I recovered the memory of the accident.

-Will you fasten it? -I ask my mother, removing my hair from her so as not to make it difficult for her. She does it and gives me a motherly smile, which makes me feel like I'm not alone and gives me enough strength.

-Are you okay?- she asks me cautiously. I nod and touch her hand resting on my shoulder from her, returning her smile from her.

-Give me a minute.

She leaves my room and I take the opportunity to shed the tears that she was holding back, but I wipe them away quickly.

-You won't cry. -I tell myself.- New day, new life.

(...)

I say goodbye to my mother with a wave of my hand before entering the large doors of the institute. As soon as I enter, people begin to murmur things, and all eyes are on me.

It's only the first day of high school, (at least for me, since I had to enter later than I should) and I already want the course to finish, great. This was supposed to be our last year here, it had to be special.

I go to the board and look at my schedule, then I go to the box office to organize my books.

Everyone has insisted that I take my time to come back, but I have made a decision, and I am going to fully focus on it.

I have to get on with my life. Get ahead.

-You look horrible- I hear a shrill and annoying voice behind me.

-What do you want, Cara? -I put the books in my backpack and slam the locker shut.

-Just came by to say hello. You don't have to talk to me like that.- Her long false eyelashes flutter and she gives me a fake smile, just like her.

-I just came in and I am already wanting to leave. Don't you get tired of bothering?- I hang the backpack on my shoulder and start walking towards the Latin classroom.

-Eh, calm down- she says laughing while she walks shamelessly moving her hips behind me- I see you're in a bad mood today.

-Do you not even have a bit of empathy?- I ask rhetorically.

Because I know no, she doesn't have it.

I stand in the middle of the corridor and look at her with the face of few friends, wanting to know why she is following me. She gasps in surprise.

-Oh, I didn't remember ... how confused I am, please. she -then she puts a hand on my shoulder- I'm sorry I didn't treat you well because your overweight best friend died in a car accident. -then she puts her other hand on her heart, pouting. I am stunned.- Three months ago. she adds later.

Without further regret, I raise my fist and hit it squarely on the bridge of the nose. She throws herself back offended and gasps and then tries to grab me by her hair, but I dodge her and give her a key that makes her fall to the ground and land on her face.

I was not going to throw away so many years of boxing and even less for this person, you had to take advantage of them and this was the perfect occasion.

-Talk about Alison again and what I've done to you will seem like caresses. I blurt out as- I get up and shake my jeans.

The truth is that she perfectly ironed black hair looks better at ground level.

The people who had formed a small circle around us scatter to let me pass while whispering and making exclamation sounds.

-Beast! Animal!- I hear him yelling behind me. I stick my middle finger off him and I don't pay attention to him.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the new Lailah Gazt.

When I find the Latin classroom, I look for someone I know to sit next to. I just want to forget what just happened and focus on the classes.

The truth is that I know almost all of them, but I never talk to them. I see Derek, one of the guys who invited me to the dance, at the end of the class, with a vacant seat next to him, so I head over there.

-Hello- I greet you kindly.

He smiles at me somewhat uncomfortably. Then he seems like he's going to ask me something, but he doesn't say anything. I take out the book and the case and put them on the table. Finally, he speaks.

-You know, at first I was going to ask you how was the summer but then I reconsidered and I said to myself, what an idiot you are Derek, you can't ask that. And then I thought again and realized that I didn't even offer my condolences- him he pauses and puts a hand on my shoulder- So I'm so sorry Lailah if you need anything, here I am.

-Thanks Derek- I smile at him- It's a detail from you, I'm sorry too - I pause. It almost seems that I have memorized these words these last two weeks. I sigh and look at him again. Derek is quite attractive, his green eyes contrast with his dark complexion and his dark hair .- How was your summer? I ask him to change the subject.

-Good enough, I have met a girl and the truth is that ...

He was going to continue talking when the teacher enters the class and begins with the syllabus, interrupting him. We all shut up and began to attend. I am lucky that we already covered this topic last year because I was afraid of going very lost in class. When the doorbell rings I say goodbye to Derek and head out the door to address advanced literature when I meet Jason on the way.

-Hey, Lailah! - He greets me as he approaches. The truth is that he was afraid of his reaction when he saw me. The last time I saw him was in the hospital. I didn't know if everything would remain the same between us or he was going to ignore me and find new friends- Have you gone back to high school?- He asks me, passing his arm over my shoulder, with a smile.

It seems that everything remains the same as in the old days.

-No, what you see is a product of your imagination- he answered ironically.

-OK OK. -He answers making a gesture with his hands, giving up. I laugh.- Have you heard that Cara Styles has been hit?

-That she's going, I didn't know. - I look away and then take her to the ground, avoiding hers.

-No ... don't tell me it was you. I nod my head slightly.

-Is it that bad?

- Oh god, little one!- he exclaims, taking me under my arms and lifting me into the air as he gives me a spin- I'm proud of you. -I roll my eyes.- And why did you hit him, if you can tell

-Well .... let's say she messed with who she shouldn't have.

-That's how she talks. -then she bumps her hand with mine.- Although I don't think you should be so happy.

-Why?

In that, the announcement that sounds when something is going to be announced through the megaphone of the institute is heard across the hall.

"Lailah Gazt, go to the principal's office"

I look up at the ceiling with an annoyed face and Jason looks at me.

-Because the new director is his father.

Nervously, I head over there while the students who take the longest to get into class are already entering, and when I close the office door I see Cara sitting on one side of the chair where her father is sitting, holding the nose messed up.

-Good morning Miss Gozt Sit down.- he tells me. I obey and cross my arms. Cara gives me a superior look, but then I remember that her nose is purple and swollen, so I get a little pissed off- think she already knows why she's here.

- It wasn't that bad...- I try to defend myself.

Cara pretends to be offended and points to her nose with her index finger. I can't help but look disgusted to see her phosphorite false nail. It is very long.

-Cara, go to class- her father orders him with a tone of authority.

- But ...- she tries to complain.

-To class, I said. -She kicks the floor with her heel in complaint mode and leaves.

The director stares at me.

-I know how she is my daughter and I know that if you have done that to her, you will have your reasons.

- I ...- he raises a hand, indicating that he hasn't finished speaking yet, so I shut up.

-Maybe you should take more time to rest and clear yourself before returning. Given your situation, I don't know if so much school stress will help you so soon ...

-Yes, many director people have already told me, but I have made a decision and I am going to carry it out. I'm not wasting any more study time and I'd rather focus on this than my problems if you don't mind.

He nods his head in agreement.

-Okay, but he will understand that there must be consequences due to his behavior. I mumbled a sound of assent- You must stay today after class in the punishment room.

-It's fine.

-I hope he does not repeat what happened today, I would not like to have to give him another punishment that stains his file- That said, he can retire.

-Thank you, director.- I say with a good girl's voice. Then I close the office door and decide to wait for the next class since I can't go in when it has been running for so long.

I sit on the floor in the hallway just below my locker. Then I see Cara in the distance arguing with someone. He is a very tall boy but I cannot see him well because his back is turned.

Cara kicks the ground like her every time she gets angry and then turns to me, the boy nevertheless goes back into the literature room.

-This does not end here, Lailah Gozt- she murmurs, passing me with a threatening tone- You will remember me.

-You have something on your nose! - exclaimed behind his back, referring to the white patch that he has stuck to it, which was surely placed in the infirmary.

Then I sigh.

This won't be the same without you, Alison.