(Pamela)
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THE RAIN STARTS right as they lower my sister into the ground.
It's a light drizzle that quickly turns into a downpour. Everyone takes shade under an umbrella, but I don’t even feel the rain pouring down harshly at us.
My entire focus is on Anna's dark mahogany casket that keeps getting lowered away. Soon, my sister is completely gone from our view and now six feet under. Never to be seen or heard from ever again.
My fingers clutch the baby-red roses so tightly that the stems dig into my palms. But I don’t feel the pain. I don't even feel my own fingers.
I should step forward. I should place the flowers down and whisper a final goodbye. But my body refuses to move because I'm still finding it so hard to believe.
She’s gone.
She’s really gone.
My one and only sister.
I'd sacrificed my entire life to raise her, to make sure she didn't have the kind of childhood that I had. I had done multiple jobs at the same time, just to be able to provide her with the best things, and to enroll her at the best schools.
I had put my entire life on hold to be a father, a mother, and a sister to Anna, all at once. And now. . .she's gone from my life.
Forever.
I bite down the tears that threaten to fall. The priest is still speaking and the mourners gathered are all watching me in surprise but I refuse to give them a show. I won’t cry anymore, instead, I'll remain strong for Anna and Erik.
A hand squeezes me affectionately. It's my best friend, Bonnie who's standing right next to me. “Pam, let’s get out of the rain. You’re shivering.”
I shake my head sadly, my throat too tight to speak. I can’t leave yet. Not until I see everything through. Not until I see the last handful of dirt being placed over her grave.
Anna’s being buried right next to our late parents, and that saddens me more than anything else. In nine years, I've lost everyone so dear to me. My parents, and now my sister.
Being an orphan at a young age had been really tough, but Anna’s death was even more painful. Now, the only person I have left is Erik, and no matter how much I try to move on, he’ll always remind me of my dear sister.
I sniff back my tears and look away from the grave. There aren’t many people at the burial. Some of Anna’s classmates from college, a few of my neighbors, and my colleagues from school. People who barely knew her but only came because it’s the decent thing to do.
But the one person who should be here, standing beside me, and mourning the mother of his child, is nowhere in sight.
Kal D'Amato.
My chest tightens and the anger inside of me threatens to explode but I try really hard to hold it in.
Not even a call or a goddamn text message.
Nothing. He's remained silent throughout this entire ordeal as if he isn't the reason my sister is dead in the first place.
I could easily forgive not showing up at Erik's birth, but completely ignoring Anna’s burial is where I draw the line.
A spineless coward. That's what he is, and one day, when I have fully recovered from my grief, I will have my revenge on him for what he did to my dear sister.
I will never ever forgive him. He's going to pay because I won't let him go scot-free. Anna’s death won't be for nothing.
Just as I come to this conclusion, my gaze falls on a tall, intimidating figure standing just beyond the crowd, just far enough to be separate from the mourners. Dressed in all black, and his dark coat drenched from the rain.
Massimo.
His gaze is unreadable, but his dark grey eyes still manage to pierce through the crowd as he scans the area. He isn’t under an umbrella like the others. The rain falls freely over him, soaking through his expensive suit, but he stands there as if he doesn’t notice.
The fury burning in my chest finally gets a hold of me as soon as I see him. I don’t think, and before I know it, I'm moving.
My heels sink into the wet soil as I storm toward him, a sign that I should probably stop but I don’t even pay attention. Finally, I reach him, and before I can stop myself, I shove my hands roughly against his chest.
But he doesn't even flinch at my reaction.
“How dare you?” I yell, my voice breaking with rage.
He exhales slowly, his breath visible in the cold air. “Pamela—”
“You have some nerve showing up here,” I snap as I shoved him again, harder this time. “Your brother couldn’t even bother to come, and you think you can stand here like you actually care?”
A muscle ticks angrily in Massimo’s jaw. I can see how the impact of my words have done more damage than my hands ever did.
But I continue with a bitter laugh, “What is this for really? Damage control? Another move to protect your precious family name?”
“No.” His voice is firm, but the burning look in his eyes says otherwise. “I’m here to pay my respects.”
“Respects?” I spit out in disgust. “Respects from the family that abandoned her the whole time she was pregnant? That left her to suffer alone? That tried to take her child away from me a few days ago?”
Massimo’s face hardens, but he doesn’t fire back.
And that angers me even more. I need to get a reaction out of him. I need to hit him right where it hurts, because I'm not thinking clearly right now.
“Where is Kal?” My voice shakes. “Did you at least try to drag him here? Or did he just not give a damn?”
Massimo sighs as he runs his hands through his dampened hair. “My brother. . .isn't handling this well, I assure you.”
I let out another bitter laugh. “Oh, poor Kal. This must be so hard for him.”
Massimo’s gaze sharpens. “I’m not excusing his behaviour, Pamela. I’m just saying that—”
“He didn’t even try!” My voice cracks, and suddenly, I feel so empty as the fight completely drains out of me and the weight of the last few days presses down on me all at once.
My head starts to spin slowly at first, and then rapidly, as if someone is somewhere in there screwing with it.
As a result, my knees give way, and before I can even process what's happening, I find myself falling helplessly towards the unforgiving ground.
(Pamela)..I MAKE IT exactly three steps down the hallway before my legs give way.My back hits the wall and I slide down to the floor, my carefully composed facade crumbling the moment I'm out of Massimo's sight. The marble is cold against my skin, but it's nothing compared to the ice spreading through my chest.‘Oh, Elsa.’The name keeps echoing in my head on repeat and each repetition feels like a fresh wound. Not my name, Pamela. But Elsa, his dead wife, the woman whose shadow I've apparently been living in this entire time without even knowing it.I press my hands to my face and try to hold back the tears that are threatening to spill over. How could I have been so stupid? How could I have missed all the signs?The way he sometimes looked at me with that strange and unreadable expression, like he was seeing someone else. The way he'd been so insistent on this arrangement, on taking in Erik, and on bringing me into his home.It was never about me. It was about her. It was about
(Massimo)..I DON'T REALISE the implication of what I've said until Pamela goes rigid beneath me and her hands suddenly start pushing against my chest instead of pulling me closer."What did you just say?" Her voice is barely a whisper, but it cuts through the quiet of the room like a blade.The name hangs in the air between us, and I realize with horror what I've just done. In between the sweet pleasures of the moment, I'd accidentally mentioned Elsa. My dead wife's name. The woman whose memory I've spent years trying to honor, trying to move past and trying to forget."Pamela, I . . ."But she's already scrambling out from beneath me and pulling her dress back up with shaking hands. The look on her face is pure devastation mixed with humiliation. I'd just made a fool of her by moaning another woman’s name. Even for me, it's an unforgivable sin.I'm the biggest clown to ever exist. "You don't even see me," she finally says, her voice cracking like she's on the brink of tears. I
(Massimo)..THE RIDE BACK to the villa is suffocating. Pamela sits as far away from me as she possibly can in the back of the car, her arms crossed tightly across her chest as she stares out the window. The silence between us is unbearable. I know I was an asshole tonight. I know dragging her away from the restaurant like some possessive caveman was exactly the wrong move. But watching that photographer, David or whatever the fuck his name is, all over her, complimenting her bone structure, asking for private photo shoots and even touching her hand when he gave her his card... something primal and ugly had reared its head inside me.Mine.The word had pounded through my skull with every charming smile he'd flashed her way this evening. She's mine.Except she's not. We only have a contract, a business arrangement. Nothing more.So why does the thought of her posing for another man's camera make me want to punch my fist through a wall?The walk back to our villa is equally as tense
(Pamela)..Heat flares in my chest at Massimo’s hurtful accusation. "Maybe because he genuinely wanted to know me rather than treat me as just a means to an end.”Massimo leans forward slightly, his voice dropping to that dangerous tone that makes my pulse race despite my anger. "If I treated you as ‘just’ a means to an end, believe me, you'd be in a far worse position than this."His statement only confirms my perception of the kind of man he is. "How enlightening. And here I thought we were business partners.""Business partners don't usually. . .""Don't usually what?" I challenge when he stops mid-sentence.His gaze drops to my lips for just a moment before snapping back to my eyes. "Nothing. Forget it, Pamela."But I know what he was going to say. Business partners don't usually almost kiss in kitchen corners. Don't usually look at each other the way we've been looking at each other all evening."That's what I thought," I murmur, taking another sip of champagne to hide my sa
(Pamela)..THE SOUND OF WAVES crashing against the shore mingles with the rhythmic beat of the live band just as we arrive at the beachside restaurant, Massimo and I. After much consideration, I decided to go with him to the Friday night performance not because I chose peace but because I wasn't sure when next I'd come to Bali. Plus the honeymoon was almost over. And I didn’t want to miss the performance for the world.Tonight, the restaurant is as stunning as ever. Twinkling lights are strung between the palm trees, creating a glowing canopy over the tables scattered across the sand. A small stage is set up near the water's edge where the live band plays the island music that I've fallen desperately in love with.The smell of grilled seafood and tropical spices fills the warm evening air. I already know it tastes just as good as it smells."This is beautiful," I admit, impressed as Massimo guides me toward a table that's been reserved right in front of the stage. “Of course you g
(Pamela)..THE WORDS HANG in the air between us like a live wire, crackling with electricity. My breath catches in my throat as I stare up at Massimo, his dark eyes burning with an intensity that makes my knees go weak. The kitchen suddenly feels suffocating, the walls closing in on us as his confession reverberates through my mind.‘On her damn knees.’Heat floods my cheeks, but it's not from embarrassment. It's from the traitorous way my body responds to his raw honesty. I should be outraged. I should slap him for confessing that he'd had sexual thoughts about me right from the first day we met, the worst day of my life. Instead, I'm frozen against the wall, hyper aware of every inch between us, which isn't much."You're sick," I whisper, but my voice lacks conviction. His wolfish grin widens. "Am I?"He places one hand flat against the wall beside my head, leaning in even closer. His cologne completely fills my senses and I can feel the heat radiating from his body, can see the