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I Am Whole
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C.H.A.O.S. We Are C.H.A.O.S. Welcome To the Death Kings Family
Carley I am sitting with my feet propped up doing coursework on my laptop while watching my uncle Jaxson, along with my husband Arson, teaching dance lessons. Jax and Air are teaching hip-hop to children who range from 5 to 18 today. Other days, they teach ballet, tap, jazz, and lyrical. Jaxson is doing most of the teaching until Arson can dance all day again. His legs tire quickly. I don't need to eat saltines and ginger ale constantly to avoid vomiting, but I still can't tolerate the taste or smell of cooked ground beef. All thanks to the hamburger, I vomited back up. Gross. I smile at the memory. I thought Jase was going to keel over from embarrassment since he was the one who cooked. He understood. Lachlan had just announced I was pregnant hours before. The grief-stricken look on Jase’s face is anything but joyful as he looks at me now. His hair is still wet from a shower. I look around for my other husbands, but they aren’t present. I watch as his Adam’s Apple bo
C.H.A.O.S. Chapter One: Look Who's Back
Carley I'm excited. I'm terrified. I'm back in my home town. It's my first day at Palamino Bay University. The next stepping stone to becoming a physician's assistant. I want to specialize in wound care. That's the exciting part, continuing my education. I haven't been in this town for over six years since my mom and I moved. My friends probably think the worst had befallen me like death or being placed in a mental health facility. But the truth is I've lived and worked on a ranch while attending high school and community college. All of this for my mother's and my mental health after the car accident that cost us, my father and twin brother. I miss them so much even though it's been over six years. The terrifying part is facing my boys. That is assuming they stayed in town. They are my broken boys that my mother wanted to blame for my depression but it wasn't them. It was a girl and her minions. A girl that chose to kick me while I was already at my lowest point. Not that any of t
C.H.A.O.S. Chapter Two: Unexpected Lunch
CarleyIt's finally lunchtime. When I get to the cafeteria doors I find Jase Alto blocking my way."You're eating with us Carley," he says. It's not a question, but a demand.He holds the door open for me to enter. I got straight to grab a tray but he smacks my hand away. I turn to him with a glare."I'll get your food. Tell me what you want," he demands again."I'm capable of getting my food," I grouse. He cocks a rich auburn eyebrow at my reply with a dare in his eyes to defy him.I roll my eyes and huff. I allow him to get both of our food and drinks. I follow Jase to the table outside in the courtyard where Lachlan and Weston are waiting. The former is drawing in his sketch with charcoal while the latter is talking to another guy I cannot see due to the people blocking him from view. "Hey, baby girl," Weston says I sit down between him and Jase with Lachlan on the opposite side of the table."Care to tell us where you've been, sweetheart?" Jase asks about halfway through my gri
C.H.A.O.S. Chapter Three: Who's the Cowboy?
Arson 'Who is the cowboy? Why is he calling our girl's name?' He shouldn't be. Everyone here knows exactly who we are without knowing exactly what we are capable of. Regardless we are respected and we are feared. So who would dare be so friendly with the one girl who belongs to us? 'Or should I say we belong to her? ' I never would have expected the meek little girl would become this fiery goddess of a woman that would grab my dick with livid steel-blue eyes full of determination. My stomach growls in hunger. I should have eaten something instead of deciding to anger Carley and my friends in the process. Jase is going to make me regret my behavior later. "Hey, Storm! How is your day going so far?!" She chirps excitedly at him and then greets him with a warm hug. I let a out low growl but I doubt either of them heard me. My friends sure did. None of us are happy with his hand lingering possessively on Carley's lower back as he talks to her. Our arms are crossed over our chests
C.H.A.O.S. Chapter Four: Bur Under Saddle
Arson We sit side by side in the human anatomy class. I spend the entire duration watching her take notes. There are so many questions running through my head that want to ask her. The most important is why she left us. I remember the first time I met her in seventh grade. I had this nerdy kid shoved up against the lockers by the front of his shirt for bumping into me and sending my autobody magazines go flying. He didn't even apologize to me. Carley in her little pink dress with worn cowboy boots on her feet, her white-blonde hair curled in a ponytail, shoved me off the kids and onto my rear. She caught me by surprise that time too. She stood above me giving me the lecture of a lifetime about bullying people and how just because I'm stronger than weaker kids didn't mean I had to be a thug. It made me so furious that when I stood up, I yanked her ponytail hard enough to send her falling to the floor. She just look up at me with a sneer on her face. Next thing I knew I was be
C.H.A.O.S. Chapter Five: Fight Through the Emotions
Arson 'WTF.' I feel as though I've been shot in the chest again, only this time instead of a bullet piercing my chest cavity it was Carley's words. I wouldn't do anything physically to her without her consent and enjoyment so she is right about that. 'But does she think I would abuse her mentally or emotionally on purpose?' I mean, yeah, I guess, I do things to make her angry on purpose but that's it. I don't ever want to make her cry again. 'I can't do this. How could she think that? Is this what betrayal feels like? Screw this!' The urge to pound something or someone is too strong right now so I leave her with Storm, quickly thundering out of the building and into my 1985 car in solid black that I rebuilt myself. It's the first car I ever rebuilt so it's the one I'm most attached to. I drive to the boxing gym we own. There is a punching bag with my name on it. When I arrive I don't bother to change into shorts, instead, I kick off my boots and pull off my shirt. I didn't
C.H.A.O.S. Chapter Six: Family Dinner
Carley "So what are you doing tonight Moon-bear?" My mom asks while I work on my assignments at the kitchen table. She is cooking spaghetti tonight alongside her girlfriend Lidia. Lidia and Storm both moved in with us in July after we'd been back in Palamino Bay for several months. They are both from another southern state town in a city called Blanche which is where Storm grew up. It's a wonder I didn't run into the Chaos boys before today. Lidia has helped my mom, Amy, in the process of mourning my father and twin brother. Lidia and my mom needed each other in the beginning and their friendship morphed into love over the years. I couldn't be happier for them both finding love again. "I'm going up to the loft to work on my assignments and the boys are coming over," I reply to her. My mother frowns at me. "I know what you're thinking mom. The boys had nothing to do with the bullying or the depression. They can't be held responsible for the actions of others. They tried to hel
C.H.A.O.S. Chapter Seven: The Past in the Loft
Carley *Trigger warning- mentions of suicide*I climb up the stairs to the loft and get settled on the floor in front of an old leather couch the Chaos Boys brought up here with my twin brother Carson. This old hay loft is decorated with fairy lights streaming down from the rafters and around the railing and posts. There is a couch, a rug, two reclining chairs, a coffee table, several oversized bean bag chairs, tons of blankets, two mini refrigerators, a few small fans, and space heaters as well. The first thing I did before even unpacking when we arrived back was dust and clean up everything here in our sacred space. No one would bother us here and I was always free to be myself without a care in the world when I was up here with my boys. It was also a safe space for them to escape their tumultuous home lives. Mom didn't want to sell our house and land because it was paid for, so it sat empty while we were gone for over six years. It was exactly as we had left it too. The pastures
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