LOGINBlondie: Did you know people are hornier in summer than winter?
I stared at my phone screen like it contained the secrets of the universe. This was how she chose to break our text silence? Scientific horniness facts?Alonzo: Yes.Blondie: Apparently it’s a mix of extra Vitamin D and dopamine from sun exposure, plus all the exposed skin releasing pheromones.Jesus Christ. She was literally texting me about pheromones and seasonal arousal patterns. The irony was so thick I could choke on it.Alonzo: We should test your theory on my sun deck.There. Direct. Clear intent. No room for misinterpretation.Blondie: It’s not my theory, it’s science.Are you fucking kidding me?She didn’t even react to what was obviously a come-on. You’d think after trying to get herself off in my bed – successfully, based on the sounds I’d heard – she might have been slightly flirtier. Instead, she’d spent the week sending me links to academic articles about hormonal fluctAlonzo was at the office again on Friday. That made it the second day in a row we hadn’t seen each other since the whole vibrator incident, and the silence gnawed at me more than I wanted to admit. I told myself I was going to his apartment to bury myself in books, to study like a dutiful little academic. But the city heat had other plans.By eleven, the sun turned his penthouse into a glass greenhouse. The south-facing windows baked the air until my hair stuck to the back of my neck. I tried fiddling with the thermostat—pushed button after button until it beeped angrily and flashed a mocking red light. No matter what I did, the thing wouldn’t budge.“Asshole,” I hissed at it.Of course Alonzo had air conditioning. Of course he’d only ever set it to turn on when he was home. The man probably thought sweating through my clothes counted as character building.Fine. I could get relief in other ways.I opened the freezer, sighing when the first gust of cool air hit m
Blondie: Did you know people are hornier in summer than winter?I stared at my phone screen like it contained the secrets of the universe. This was how she chose to break our text silence? Scientific horniness facts?Alonzo: Yes.Blondie: Apparently it’s a mix of extra Vitamin D and dopamine from sun exposure, plus all the exposed skin releasing pheromones.Jesus Christ. She was literally texting me about pheromones and seasonal arousal patterns. The irony was so thick I could choke on it.Alonzo: We should test your theory on my sun deck.There. Direct. Clear intent. No room for misinterpretation.Blondie: It’s not my theory, it’s science.Are you fucking kidding me?She didn’t even react to what was obviously a come-on. You’d think after trying to get herself off in my bed – successfully, based on the sounds I’d heard – she might have been slightly flirtier. Instead, she’d spent the week sending me links to academic articles about hormonal fluct
At 3 AM on Thursday morning, I got a front-row seat to exactly why Constance Montana hadn’t been spotted outside her house in fifteen fucking years.The screams had me shooting out of bed like someone had set off a fire alarm directly in my brain. I grabbed the first potential weapon I could find – some ridiculously ornate vase that probably cost more than my student loans – and followed the sound of pure terror upstairs.Victor intercepted me in the hallway, one finger pressed to his lips in the universal “shut the hell up” gesture, his other hand extended for my makeshift weapon. Even at 3 AM, the man looked ready to spring into action – black shirt, gray sweatpants, the kind of alert stillness that suggested he’d been awake the second those screams started.I handed over the vase, eyes locked on the door behind him where Constance’s cries were raising every hair on my neck. The sounds were primal, desperate, the kind that made your chest tight with secondhand panic.Then they stopp
Tuesday felt like a soft relaunch of summer. Alonzo swung his door open with that cool, unbothered smile, ushered me inside, and said, “Shoes off, Blondie. Library’s open. You hungry?”He’d already ordered lunch—sushi laid out in disciplined rows on the kitchen island like jewels in lacquered boxes. He used chopsticks with the kind of unshowy competence that made me aware of my elbows. After, he sent me back to the library and disappeared for calls, reappearing mid-afternoon with Starbucks cups balanced in one broad hand.“This is for you,” he said, sliding a plastic cup across the desk. The drink was an ice-cold cloud—milk, sugar, happiness.“You’ll live to love it,” I told him.He took one experimental sip of my order and physically recoiled. “This is a dessert pretending to be coffee.”“That’s why it’s perfect.”He lifted his own cup—black coffee with the faintest smudge of milk. “Some of us prefer honesty.”“Some of us prefer joy,” I countered, and to
I closed the conference call window and yanked out my earbuds, but when I looked over at Allie again, she’d transformed my office floor into what appeared to be a scholarly command center. Four perfectly organized stacks of books sat like literary monuments, each accompanied by its own arsenal of color-coordinated highlighters, gel pens, and sticky notes arranged with the precision of surgical instruments.Jesus Christ. She’d militarized my sex book collection.“You have a system, Blondie?” I asked, because clearly this wasn’t casual browsing.“Personal accounts, essays, biographies,” she explained, slapping her palm against the first stack with the authority of someone presenting quarterly earnings. “Biology, psychology, sexology, and everything else that sounded vaguely scientific.” Second stack got the same treatment. “Guidebooks on how to have sex in all the different ways.” She drummed her fingers against the third pile like she was playing piano. Finally, she stret
I opened my door to find what looked like a tiny human being consumed by the world’s most aggressively cheerful backpack. Blue and pink straps, keychains that sounded like a wind chime having an anxiety attack, and enough zippers to stock a small factory.Allie stood there in yoga pants and a crop top, looking completely different without her signature red lipstick. The whole blonde bombshell vibe had been replaced by something that screamed ‘eager exchange student ready to backpack through Europe with a Let’s Go guide and unlimited optimism.’“Sorry, you must have the wrong address,” I said, leaning against my doorframe. “The dorm for Swedish exchange students is two blocks south.”“Very funny, Mr. Benington.” She rolled her eyes, but those soft pink lips curved into a smile that made something in my chest do unauthorized gymnastics.I grimaced. “No. Don’t call me that when you look like this.”“Like wha— ew, you’re disgusting.”“I told you not to call me th







