Chapter 5 - Anticipation

Honey

I work in a call center taking orders and providing customer service to the company’s customers. My bosses like me because I’m reliable and punctual. I’m also good at my job and in line for a promotion as a shift-lead. It will mean a little more money each week. My college is taken care of by a grant but I still have to pay for my car payment, insurance, and gas. I also help mom pay the electric and cable bills. She pays the mortgage and buys the groceries. We only have each other to rely on all these years, so we do our best.

My work day flies by quickly. I have a lot to keep my mind busy, but I still keep thinking about Brandt at every pause in my day. I’m almost giddy with anticipation. I have a date with a very sexy, totally gorgeous club owner. I would worry about what my mother might think if I hadn’t witnessed her and Moe in that very same club. No judgement is going to keep me from him. I’ve made up my mind. If he wants me, I’m going to give him a chance to have me.

This isn’t to say that I’m not nervous. He’s older than me and probably gets sex every day if he wants it. Why wouldn’t he want it? He's a guy. Guys seem to have a different outlook on sex than most women. But let's be real, you can't pigeonhole relationships. We have to do us.

I feel a little shaky if I think about what will happen between us for too long. I had never sought out sex before. I haven't been opposed to it but I haven't found anyone that made me comfrotable enough to take something that shouls be preciouis. But think about it, I mean, what better way to lose your virginity than with a guy who hosts sex for a living? I know he said he wanted to “get to know me” and while that may be true, I’m not naive enough to think that he’s not going to want sex. Probably sooner rather than later. An actual relationship where I might call him my boyfriend? Not likely.

I’ve been groped by enough guys and heard enough lines to not take anything any guy says at face value. Too many haven’t said what they meant or meant what they said. I’ve fled those relationships with my virtue intact. I’ve never had my heart broken and I don’t intend to start now.

I’m going into this with my eyes open. I’m not some sex kitten. I’m not drop dead gorgeous. I’m OK, I’m average. I’ve got average features, average hair. My boobs are on the bigger side and my legs are long. I get a lot of compliments on my eyes by both men and women. I’m not under any illusions that I’ll be able to seduce Brandt, or anyone, to do my bidding. I’m not that girl. I’ll make a great partner to someone one day, of that, I am sure. Is it going to be Brandt? I'm not going to get my hopes up. In fact, the only thing I wish for at this moment is that we have some mind-blowing sex. I am sort of counting on it with his experience. I’m not a user, maybe something will come out of this. Open mind, remember? I just need to think about myself and not get too attached.

Getting attached to a hot guy like Brandt would be easy. He's been really sweet with me. I already feel a bit of jealousy at the number of women before me. Is that stupid of me? Yeah, it is, but I can’t deny that I wish I was going to be his first as well. It’s just feelings. I have found that feelings are rarely logical. I’d rather deal in facts. Fact: I’m a virgin – he is not. Get over yourself!

Jealousy is another emotion that is hard to deny. I really don’t want to run into any of his exes while we figure out what we are and where we are going, or well, ever really. I don’t want to see the kind of beautiful women he usually has sex with. I’m very sure that he can take his pick. He’s got that dominant aura that would bring women to him in droves. I’m not under any illusions that I’m not more of the same. Like the flavor of the week. He seeks out experienced women. He might get bored because I know very little. I’ve kissed guys and made out a little. Not feeling super confident that I will be able to hold the attention of a man like Brandt for the long haul.

Almost time to go home. Let’s see if Brandt is a man of his word. Will he call me, and on time? What will it mean if he doesn’t? I try to keep a rein on my emotions. It wouldn’t do to get tangled up before it’s even begun.

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Brandt

Being the owner / manager of a BDSM sex club isn’t the easiest or even the hardest job I’ve ever had. It’s harder than being the bouncer at the rowdiest bar, but easier than riding the bull in a rodeo. I've done both jobs at different points in my life. I scrimped and saved and bought this place from a friend of my dad’s. It will be paid in full in five years, and then I plan to open another in the next town over. My business plan and goals are in place. Once my second location is open, I plan to buy a house in the country, something away from prying eyes. Some place I can retire to and relax in when I go home at night or morning, as the case may be.

In a vague way, I imagined a woman waiting for me in the house. A toddler on her hip and a baby on the way. I never went so far as to imagine what she looked like or how we met. I just always felt that she would be that final piece in my life to make me feel complete. Again, it wasn't something I dwelt on.

When I saw Honey on Wednesday night, when she walked into the club with those long legs and tight-fitting jeans. I noticed her breasts high and pert on her chest. I saw her eyes, which were direct and honest. The image I had in my mind of domesticated life, solidified. I received a glimpse of my dream house with my dream kids and my dream woman waiting there for me. I would never say any of this aloud to anyone except one day, I'll tell Honey. I'll tell her about my fantasy. One day I'll describe it as a hazy glimpse of the future. And then she walked into my life and filled the role of wife and mother.

Of course, our first conversations will not be anything so deep. One day I will tell her about the first moment I saw her, but tonight we are still learning about each other. My anticipation is high. I will allow her to negotiate some, but I also want to establish some rules. My life is suddenly full of excitement. A new, fresh flow of energy ran through my veins. I would be talking to Honey again soon. It was almost time to call her. I was a man of my word and would continue to be. It's what made me a good boss and business owner. Perhaps, it will endear me to Honey to know that I keep my promises. I tell the guys I'm going to take a dinner break and go back to my apartment upstairs.  I ignore my throbbing dick. I'm horny as fuck but I want my next orgasm to be all about Honey. I think that it will totally be worth the wait.