IRISI wasn’t asleep.Not really.My body was heavy, though, my limbs still completely drained from the emotional whiplash of last night’s events, but my mind… it just wouldn’t shut off.It wasn’t as easy to do as Maverick had said.I’d curled into Maverick like my life depended on it, letting him wrap his arms around me like a damn armor, letting myself pretend that for just a little while, I was okay. I was safe. Maverick was mine.But even with the warmth of his chest and the steady, calm rhythm of his heartbeat, I couldn’t fall into unconsciousness. Not fully.But I didn’t open my eyes when he left the bed. Even though I felt the way his body tensed before he slid out of bed, I didn't say a word. I didn’t need to. Didn’t even want to.Because if there was something wrong, he was going to let me know… right?And if he was holding something back—which I could tell he was—it was either to protect me…Or to prepare me.Or maybe the night brought back terrible memories for him.Shit.O
MAVERICK I wasn’t going to tell her.I’d made up my mind the moment I saw her broken in the waiting room. Why would I tell Iris that her mother’s attempted suicide was very similar to my own mother’s? Only, she died. Rhoda didn’t.Even I didn’t want to believe it myself.Because believing that this wasn’t just a coincidence meant a number of things that I wasn’t willing to accept yet.Believing that it wasn’t a coincidence would mean that it wasn’t a suicide attempt at all. It would mean that it was murder.That Rhoda was almost murdered, and my mother…No.Fuck, no.It wasn't possible. It couldn’t be possible. I had to stop fucking thinking about it.I glanced at Iris sitting beside me in the passenger seat. The sun was just starting to stretch across the sky, and she seemed tired, her voice drawling as she spoke to Megan on the phone. She hadn’t gotten any sleep last night after the long day that we had at the wedding.And fucking hell, it was impossible to believe that less than
IRIS I’d forgotten how cold hospitals could feel. Not just in temperature, but in spirit. The kind of cold that settled into your bones even though I was sure that the heating was working just fine.I sat in the waiting room, my pants stained with dried blood. Maverick had made me wash my hands, and to be honest, I had no memory of doing that because of how out of if I’d been. I stared down at them. They wouldn’t stop twitching.And all I could perceive part from the antiseptic in the hospital was the smell of iron. The smell of my mother’s blood.They’d taken her in over thirty minutes ago. Said that they would do everything they could to save her, like those words meant anything when you’ve already seen someone try to die in front of you.I kept replaying it in my head. Her voice on the phone. The way it cracked. The way her voice begged without actually begging for help. The way she said she was sorry.Sorry. I scoffed.Like that one word was going to fix the lifetime of mistakes
MAVERICK I’d seen this before.Not this exact scene. It was a different city, different room, different woman.Funny how the same night I decided to tell Iris about my past was the same night that we found her own mother like this.My legs had gone stiff. Locked. Like I was twelve years old again, staring at my mother’s lifeless eyes all while wondering what I had done wrong to make her leave me.Only this time, it wasn’t my mother.It was hers.And I had to remind myself to be present for her, because I could tell that she was losing her mind, and if there was even a slight chance that Rhoda could be saved, I wasn’t going to let her toss it away.Not that she would ever forgive herself if she did.Iris stared up at me, eyes wild with fear and something else I couldn’t name.“You’ve got this,” I said, making sure to keep my voice firm but still quiet. What Iris didn’t need right now was pressure. Her shoulders were already shaking. “Breathe. Just breathe and try as much as you can to
IRIS “Rhoda? Rhoda!”I stared at the screen, my heart beating furiously against my ribcage as dread filled me. Call ended.I called again. Thrice.And they all went to voicemail.Maverick was already moving, pulling his clothes on. “What happened?”I could barely speak as the phone slipped from my hand onto the floor.“I think something’s wrong,” I whispered, my throat closing up. “I think she’s in trouble.”“What?” Maverick pulled on his shirt, walking toward me. “What the hell is going on?”I finally looked at him, barely able to recognize my own voice. “She called me. I—I think she’s hurt, and she wouldn’t tell me where she was. She sounded like—”A sharp breath escaped my mouth as something panged my chest. I didn’t want to finish that sentence. That thought.I ran a frustrated hand through my hair, feeling panic start to grip my chest. I took a deep breath.I couldn’t panic. Not again. Not tonight. I just needed to find where she was staying.“Maverick, I—”“I know where she’s
IRIS Silence.That was what filled the room after Maverick finished talking.Complete, utter silence.Not the heavy kind—the one that smothered you like a pillow over your face. No. This was different. The silence wasn’t loud.It was hollow. Empty.I didn’t know what to say. What could I possibly say after everything he’d just told me? After he peeled himself open and laid his truth out bare to me?Maverick had suffered a lot in the hands of Quentin, and I was purely shocked that he hadn’t already tortured him to death. Shocked that Maverick was still here, and could stay in the same room with his father without lunging at his neck and slicing his jugular.Why was I having these thoughts? Maybe because that’s what I would’ve done.It’s what I ‘want’ to do.My head rested on his chest, one hand lightly tracing mindless circles on his pecs. I wanted to do that to his back. Wanted to turn him over and trace those beautiful scars so slowly until I memorized each one. His whole back was a