Five days

I could feel my eyes flutter in the unrest of the tightening of my muscles as I struggled to settle the pacing my breath had picked up. My neck muscles pull as I toss and turn in the violent flashes of horrid memories. Just before the nightmare can take hold of me, I open my eyes with a sudden jolt before opening my eyes to a familiar space. My hand rushed beside me when I  realise, she is not beside me anymore. Turning my head to the right of the bed, I notice the dishevelled sheets and ruffled pillow confirming that the warmth of body and soul was not a dream. Neither were the events of last night.

Breathing away the residual fear of the nightmare, I ground myself in the memory of what happened yesterday. The way Master had watched me embrace my pleasure before he rained it over me in his restless need to have me. How Celeste had taken the haze of emotions and thoughts and settled them with warm water and a comforting hold through the night. It all happened and, I can’t lie and say it hadn't shifted some sense of understanding in myself because it did. 

I knew I would find myself in his hands in any way he wished, and the conversation we had before the I succumbed to him told me that, but Celeste, well she was an unexpected but no less welcomed and desired addition to it all. 

My busy thoughts are disturbed by a knock on the door, and like a gentle light, through from the morning sun, she gives me a smile that lifts me from my sleep. Her bare feet were covered by the lengthy array of materials that made her dress dance around her body as she stepped further into the room. Her fingers ran through the straps on her shoulder when I noticed how she ran her hand over the space where Master had left a familiar mark. 

Consciously I bring my hand up to my neck, attempting to cover them when she shakes her head "No, don't cover yourself, I never mean to make you conscious of them. I put some clothes in the bathroom for you. You can just come to the kitchen for breakfast when you are dressed. We will wait for you to finish." The soft tone and apologetic smile loosened my shoulders from their guard as I adjusted the blanket around my chest, "Thank you again. I've thanked you both a lot as of recently." 

It was hard enough being the sexual envy of men who wanted nothing but your body, but between her and Master, the fear of intimacy was a concrete wall I feared breaking down, "Between you and me, Master will do what he wants for those who care for, even without the thanks. So with it, he cherishes it, and so do I. So thank you too." She told no lie there. The paid room for my mother was enough to let me know he made the choice of aid regardless of being asked, and she would soothe wounds with comfort without hesitation, "I won’t be long for breakfast. I have an early morning too." Nodding at my change of topic, far too vulnerable for me to consider so early in the morning, Celeste gives a soft smile before she leaves me for my morning.

I make the bed and go on to get ready. After I finished showering, I looked in the mirror, where I see the marks on my throat and the bite on my collar bone, where Master held me and bit me. My thighs almost tighten at the memory of my body shaking and moans echoing through the room. 

Running my fingers along with them, I can't help but blush at the memory of how I received them. I don't feel shame or horror at the way he held me last night. Instead, I feel flustered and satisfied at the view of my body and the feeling it carries.

Looking at them makes me realize the reason Celeste was not shy in her display of them on her body. If she got them how I did, they were marks of absolute pleasure in the remnants of passion. Nothing to be ashamed of.

The forest green two-piece was breathtaking with its sophisticated yet sensual motions of the silk material that covered my body with modesty in the high neckline. Was this why Celeste had looked at them? To ensure that what she had set out could cover the marks she would never. Silencing the onslaught of doubt, I go on and get ready. Other thanks sat on my lips as I looked at the bundles of hair platted together by Celeste, which helped to brush the curls out. When I am done getting dressed, I see that I have finished in eighteen minutes, so with that, I walk out of the room.

I don't know why I am so nervous, almost anxious at seeing him, but I guess it comes with what is going on.

 When I walk into the kitchen, I see Master sitting at the counter with a hot coffee and a small chocolate chip cookie on the edge of the saucer; in front of him.  He looks up from his papers and turns to me with wide eyes and an admiring gaze over my body. I guess he liked how I looked. "Good morning Evita. You may take a seat." I walk past him to the seat next to him when I am presented with a breakfast of two eggs, avocado, tomato some bacon between a toasted croissant. Besides my breakfast, a mug of tea. A similar breakfast is brought to the man beside me, his attention no longer on the papers as he gives a warm smile of gratitude to Celeste as she gives him his plate. 

Smiling at the soft moment of normalcy between them as I sipped the tea that was made as it was yesterday, "Thank you, Celeste." Waving her hand at the dismissal of my thanks with a small "Your welcome." Before she takes place her own meal on the other side of the table with her chair facing us. The way she conducted herself in the space, confident and loving, you could almost swear the chair sat there to make sure those who entered knew this was her kitchen.

I bring my attention back to the man beside me when he speaks to me, "You are aware of how I expect you to answer me?" Positioning myself more upright when I respond, "Yes I am Master." Satisfied, he goes on. "How do you feel after yesterday?" 

My face goes into a full blush, making me look down but getting myself together, I look back up "Truth is it's been a while since I've felt such intimacy, it all felt amazing owning that, especially when you guided me." The memory of how my body went into shock made me press my legs together, hoping I don't ruin my underwear. He sees my movement but gives it no comment and continues, "Would you change anything about what we have done?"

What would one change about such a euphoric event and experience "No, I would change nothing about it." Nodding, he turns to Celeste, who had gone about eating her breakfast between listening to me. Her cheek bubbled with food pulling a smile on my face and a soft gaze over Masters as he caught her off guard. It is hard to deny the little ways they worked together, from conversation to movements they felt so in tune, "It is only natural to have questions. You may ask them now."

"When you saved me at the event a few nights ago. Why were you there?" There was no denying that he was a powerful man, probably as powerful as he was rich, and I had dealt with enough of them to know that even their warm gazes past kitchen tables could turn into blades. I didn't want any business with the type of dangerous people I knew circulated in that room. He turned his body to me, ensuring I knew he held no secret in his words.

"Years ago I invested in some businesses but, I was irresponsible and didn't find out who the other investors were. It was nothing illegal, just logistics which left me with a bad group of partners. I promise you are safe in that regard."

I am relieved that he had no role in the business that goes on, but between myself, I carried a shadow of doubt in my back pocket.  Now calm and comfortable, I look between him and the girl waiting patiently in white, going through the number of questions they had caused my mind to create in these past days. Settling on one that had been brought to my attention, I look up "Why does Celeste call you Master as well?" She looked startled at the question but, I had to know what this was. She called him Master as a way of formality only it was not forced or demanded.

He looks at her, almost like he was waiting for her consent to what he could say. The conversation of no words have Celeste looking at me for a few seconds, processing the outcome of the answer could be, but when she looks back at him, she nods. With the communication met, he looks at me and begins speaking.

"Celeste is my submissive and my partner, so she refers to me as Master or Sir. She is a permanent factor in my life, as I am in hers." I looked between the two how the balance between them stayed in tune was beautiful. That's why she never seemed afraid or anything, less than confident in this space because it was hers to find stability in. She was his. I look at her and see her eyes look in anticipation of how I would respond to this when in all reality, it just left me with one question.

"Then why am I here?" It was clear that he had the place of a permanent partner in his life, so was I not being intrusive to not only his life, but hers? The last thing I would want is to make her feel as though she was not enough when she was crucial to him and caring to me. "You are here because you are wanted. I've wanted to know you care for you since I helped you, and I know you create a tranquil aura in Celeste. She may not speak it, but it is clear in her ways. I can’t answer why you think you are here, but a part of you kneeled before me because it fulfilled a part of you. Whether you acknowledge it or not is for you to answer."

Looking between them, I find it difficult to process his precise words or events of the past few days. Taking a sip of my tea, I place it down with my last question in mind. "What do you want from me?" He takes a second to find his words before speaking, "I want your honesty your trust and submission." Nodding at his words, I look at Celeste, giving me her undivided attention "What do you want from me, Celeste?"

Her words were most intriguing to me because I struggled to comprehend what she could possibly want out of another woman in the space she clearly made home. "I want your contentment, serenity, and support."

Their requests are heavy, but in them, I know what I give they would hold with great care. The problem is that I don't know if I am secure enough to give all that holds me up to them and trust that they would keep me stable as I knelt or as I stood. Remembering that and I had tossing and turning this morning makes me more hesitant because, under it all, I could not admit to them that their honesty and transparency made the long years of solitude and loneliness feel like a shackle, I made my anchor in the storm.

With my soul I wanted to place my honesty, trust, contentment, and support on the table we sat by, but would they ask for me once they viewed the shame that came with their wants of me?

I couldn’t help but fumble with my hands even as I held them tight in the hope that my nerves could be hidden, but when Master glanced down at them with a softened brow and caring eyes, I held them firmly, "What you decide you must be able to voice aloud because like your submission it is your choice. Take time to conclude what you feel about what we have spoken about, and when you have decided, we will listen."

Looking between them I can't fight the feeling of trust they held in each other, and I wanted to be held in it as well. Putting a card on the table, Master slides it to me, "You can call this number, and Harold will pick you up when you have decided. Clear?"

Taking the card in my hand, I place it into my pocket and look at him "Yes Sir." Standing from his seat with his breakfast and chocolate cookie ate, Master straightens his suit and turns to Celeste, "Meredith will pick up his piece between one and two." Understanding his words, she nods "It will be packed by then." Walking to her, he brings her into his body by the waist, towering over her before laying a gentle kiss on her forehead, a smile blooming on her face. It's beautiful, they are beautiful. 

Submissive and dominant laid the foundation of what they were to each other. Unconditional devotion.

I am surprised when he walks to me, standing close enough that he brushed against my legs with his pants ever so lightly. Softly, he caresses my cheek and softly glides his thumb on my bottom lip with his eyes locked on mine. The act was so intimate I shiver at the feeling of reminiscence, me being on my knees in free submission. Letting go he steps out of the kitchen with his bag and phone given to him by Celeste. I don't miss Celestes' smile towards me when he leaves.

Eating and finishing my breakfast, I bring my dishes to the sink but this time I am stopped "You don't have to do that, even if it is no problem." In some way, it is her kitchen, and Mama always said that no matter what, you follow the wishes of anothers' space, more so a woman's kitchen. So, I do just that.

"I must be going. Thank you once again, Celeste." Shying from the compliment I walk closer to her, unable to resist the urge to touch her, feel the warmth she bathed my body in all night.

Seeing that she is not uncomfortable, I wrap my arms around her waist and hug her. She brings her arms to my shoulders, returning the hug. When we let go, her hands stays on my shoulder while her gentle fingers held a curl of hair. Almost speechless, as looks at me "I hope to see you again Evita." She said my name, and it sounded pure coming from her lips. Her words set in the reality of my choice, so I look at her and respond, "Stay safe Celeste."

That was five days ago. The last time I had my breath literally and figuratively taken away by Master, how I wish I used one of my questions for his name. I guess a busy mind isn't a good source of sanity. It has also been five days since I heard Celeste's pure voice be the voice, I woke up to each time my body rose from the soft sheets.

The day I left the penthouse, I went to work, my thoughts so loud that I had Victoria shouting to get my attention. I had to give her an excuse that I had a terrible headache and was just not in the state to speak. In reality, the words of the two souls in the penthouse I just left were running in my head in a constant collision as though they were trying to break free from this unknown state of emotion and thought.

Going to the club, I danced and threw my thoughts into my moves fighting to get control over my mind, body and, clients. I got my clients control, but when the night ended with one of my regulars being my last, I knew I didn't have the role over my mind and body.

The second day was better. Except I woke up in a heavy gasp at the memory of his eyes as they watched me unravel in front of him while my fingers went deep into me, but this time the doe eyes of a white-dressed woman kneeled beside him. My eyes stuck on my ceiling, unsure whether I wanted to acknowledge the need between my thighs as I pictured the scene of Celeste watching me crumble in pleasure.

 Waking up in my apartment, I threw myself out of the sheets and let my body find warmth in the steaming shower. Forgetting the sound of his demands and the sweetness of her offerings. My mind was so far that the events of my day blurred into hours until I could close my eyes and not have to think of them and what they brought to me with ease.

The third day was flooded with frustration as my morning began with my fingers frivolously attempting to recreate the pleasure Master had guided into me. How close yet far the journey to my high was, but regardless it ended with disappointment. I knew why. It was because my body was clear on what it demanded of me, what it craved but, I was scared.

Scared of what could happen if I gave myself to this to them. I could give in then, all at once it could be taken away. Frustration was the standstill of my emotions unchanged until I saw my Mama. He didn't move her room. She was there, and according to Jemma, the room had been validated to her for as long as she stayed at the hospital. Taken care of under the sponsorship of an unknown benefactor. Between the silence, I wished I had laid a kiss on his lips in gratitude that night.

The fourth day was still because the only movement was in the thoughts of my mind. I knew I wanted them. I just didn't know if I could give in emotions what I could in my body because one day the truth would mean uncovering more than my body. Could I let them see my soul and sins nude too? That they spoke of was my entire self, but they knew nothing about me. Some days, I felt I knew just as little, even less, yet there I was, fighting with my thoughts and emotions. 

Fighting to understand how a few days could bring so much conflict into my life, but it wasn't tearing me apart. I was doing that all on my own with what I was feeling. Who would I be between his power and her care? Would they take me along with the flaws they knew nothing about, or would they ask for a change I could not give?

On the fifth day, I was left in a state of contemplation and consideration. I had to be realistic with the cards that had been dealt with the future I would choose. That day I sat in the store as I gave smiles and "Have a good day." to those who came in and left with a story or two in their hands. The excitement of holding what could be a great piece of art they would bring into their souls and hold close. 

A little girl with a book about space as her eyes held galaxies, a middle-aged man who left with a romantic tale of two men in a big world, and a woman who may be fifty years old who left with a Quran in her arms. She had it wrapped like a gift; I hope they love it as much as she gave it love. Each person left with a piece of a future they would cherish or hold until the light they would follow drew them in, and they all had no idea what that would be. They just knew that now, it was what they wanted and needed.

Leaving the store, I passed by the hospital to check on my Mama and for the first time in months, I found her smiling when I walked in. I know she is getting worse some days I am here, and she does not speak as much as she would. Today though, she was looking in one of the books I had left with her it was like she was finding a new purpose in the pictures that the book held. Sitting with her, she gave her whole heart as we read the book about Mexico and where she was from. As I let her page through the book, she turned to me, lost in my thoughts, until I heard her speak, "Tanta preocupación en ti. Estará bien.) So much worry in you. It will be okay.

Hearing the comfort I missed so much from her, I let myself risk the rejection of her memory and become her daughter “Mama, I'm scared." Bringing her hand over mine she shakes her head, pointing to my chest with her other "Tu corazón no es un mentiroso, confía en ti mismo."Your heart is not a liar, trust yourself.  Looking at her, I feel the pull of emotions let my tear down my cheeks. Tears blur my eyes as I bring her in a soft hug "Thank you, mama."

Today I woke up, washing the day before me as I stood under the hot water. When dressed in today's outfit which included a new pair of boots, I was able to buy now that Mama's bill was not weighing on me.  Sitting in the chair, across me from the table, my phone and a card waited for me to make a choice selfishly intimidate. 

Before I create new excuses to explain the wave of emotions that had haunted me through the days, I pick up the phone and card, dialling and putting it against my ear. Immediately it picked up "Good day this is Harold."

Standing from the seat, I start speaking as I pace in the small room "Good morning Harold it's Evita. I was told to call you in a few days." My words feel so lost not knowing how to explain to the man but he instantly understands "Yes, I am aware to be on notice for your call. According to Mr Macias you, work until late hours..." For the first time in years going to tell Black that I am having a night off. With my previous attendance at the club being every night I know he won't say no.

"That's okay. I will be home at six o'clock. Would you be able to fetch me from my apartment?" Agreeing I give the man my address and goodbye before hanging up the phone. There was no going back now.

Before I let it slip my mind, I dial Blacks' number when he speaks over loud music and talking "Who dis." I speak as I clean up my place, not wanting to come home to a mess "Black, it's Vee, I need the night off." Shuffling and coughing follow my words on his side "Since when do you do nights off Vee." Releasing a breath continues, "Black, I don't ask about your business, don't ask about mine. Can I have the night off, I'm sure I have earned it." 

The frustration in his voice is not missed, but I know he can't tell me I have not worked for the money he has with him "Fuck fine, don't make this shit regular you got me?" A silent breath of release is exhaled from my chest at the free night "You will see me at my next shift. Thanks."

Slipping the phone into my pocket, I go on with my day as usual, but this time I know my night won't lead me to my bedroom.

Walking into my apartment after work and the short visit to my mother I drop the coat checking the time that reads five- twenty. With that, I consider my time and run a quick shower before dressing in a black ankle-length skirt with a thigh-high slit on either side paired with a red corset-styled top. I wear the boots I had gotten when I left Master that first fateful day and dress in a black coat.

 I didn't have to hide my marks today because they had faded, yet I missed them more than I would have ever believed I could.

My head whips to the door when I hear a knock as I put in some pins to hold my hair. Heavy my feet go to the door in anticipation, opening it to be greeted by Harold, a smile as bright as ever. "Good evening Miss." Smiling back at him I close the door behind me, with my purse in hand "Good evening Harold." We walk to the car in silence that continues as we drive to our destination.

I am quickly aware that we are not on the way to the penthouse but asked no questions as my mind fights to bring me some control over my nerves while I sit in the car. Will they be happy to see me again? What if they came to conclude I would be too complicated? The avalanche of worrisome questions falling until the car stops. That's when I look out the tinted window and see that we are at a restaurant, an elegant French name I'm unable to pronounce, lighting the entrance. Harold opens the door, holding my hand so I don't slip on the icy floor. 

Closing it I turn to him as he guides me to the entrance before he says saying nothing to the hostess as we pass through.

I keep my head up as we continue our journey through the sea of people when we reach a pair of closed beige and gold French doors far into the restaurant. Looking beside me, I see him knock on the door three times. He opens one of them, guiding me in, but he doesn't enter with me.

The medium-sized room was beautifully designed. Rustic in its décor, the chandelier in the middle of the room brings light. The view of the city through the large window going to a balcony looking out at the city. Yet all I see is the breath-taking view of my Master as he stands tall and confident in a black button-up, navy blue blazer with a silver handkerchief in his breast pocket, and next to him in a gown of white and silver, with the shine of soft diamonds on her ears but more eye eye-catching silver and diamond choker that lay wrapped around her throat. Like the devil and the last of his innocent personified. 

How I missed them.