Ex-Hockey Star Regret

Nicole’s POV

“Didn’t you grow up in a homeless shelter or something? You wouldn’t even be here if Rowan wasn’t fixing your entire life.”

Wait, what? I blinked, my mind trying to catch up. Did she really just say that out loud? I wasn’t even sure how we got here. One minute we were just standing around waiting for the second half, next thing I know, she’s coming for my whole existence.

“He doesn’t fix my life,” I snapped, before my brain could tell me to just walk away. “He’s only letting me stay with him because I don’t have a place yet. But I’ll get one soon.”

Yeah. Right.

That “I’ll get one soon” part was a lie so smooth I almost convinced myself for a sec. The truth is that I really wanted to get a place of my own but for now, there were no tangible plans of how to afford it yet. Every time Rowan-who I squat with, and I argue—even over dumb shit like who left the lights on—I end up outside.

Being here on a scholarship from the orphanage where I grew up is really a blessing, yeah. I wouldn't even lie about that. But also a curse because everyone knows I'm the “charity girl.” And even though the tuition is covered, housing isn’t. So I work part-time at a bar near campus, pretending the tips might someday pay rent. So far? I couldn’t even afford a mop closet, let alone a room.

So yeah. Having problems with people like Sophia is the last thing I need. But here she is, loud and blonde, poking at the part of me I try so hard to hide.

“So, please…What difference does it make? Fixing your life and squatting with him kinda mean the same thing, you know.”

She flipped her hair like she’d just dropped the mic, and I swear, I could feel the heat rise in my face. 

I could tell she was baiting me, fishing hard for a reaction from me. And normally, I’d give her one as I would love to wipe that smug grin off her face, especially because I knew I would win in a fight with her. But with cameras rolling and the whole crowd watching, the moment I threw a punch, I would definitely become the villain in everyone’s story. More like, ‘the poor orphan girl who snapped back at the captain of the cheer squad.

To think that she was cheer captain, not because she earned it. It was the kind of role passed down like a family heirloom, all because she is the rich mogul's daughter. People kissed her ass like it tasted like vanilla frosting, and I hated it.

For a moment I wished I had clapped back, but I couldn't. I stayed quiet, watching her like she was just some bug and yet she continued.

“I heard you sleep outside when he won’t let you in,” she said with that fake sympathy voice, loud enough for everyone to hear too. “Poor you.”

I flinched. That… that hit way too close. My lips parted before my brain even caught up.

“Wait! How the hell would you know that?” My voice cracked. I didn’t even care.

She smirked, real evil. “Maybe Rowan told me before he went down on me or after. I dunno. Could’ve been either.”

I swear, I stopped breathing for a full five seconds. My stomach twisted. I wanted to scream or cry or hit something. Anything at all.

But instead, I just stared at her, feeling like the floor had been yanked out from under me. My mind raced at the same time. Rowan wouldn’t, I mean he couldn’t. Right?

But he could. And maybe he did.

He said he loved me. Said I was special to him. But if he was out here spilling my secrets and hooking up with her of all people? Then maybe I was just one more dumb girl in love.

I bit the inside of my cheek until I tasted blood.

But then, why am I eating myself up for something I haven't even confirmed from Rowan. I think Sophia must have had her way around some gossip and is just pushing so hard to get at me. But it wasn't easy to convince myself to believe that.

“Skyblazers and the Icebreakers United, looking to put this away as we resume the second half.”

The commentator’s voice crackled through the speakers, and it was like a bucket of cold water dumped over me. Game time.

I grabbed my pom-poms, trying to act like I hadn’t just been emotionally gutted in public. My helmet was already on, slightly crooked, but I didn’t care. I just wanted to scream out the rage, and cheering was the only way I could do that.

The stadium lights beamed down, casting everything in this weird, harsh glow. The rink sparkled under the heat, and the Skyblazers looked like actual gladiators out there—all geared up, pads stacked on pads, making their shoulders look massive.

Rowan stood in the center with his posture slightly firm and his helmet tucked under his arm. I would say that he looked so focused and so sure. 

“Ready! Set! Hut!” he shouted.

“Let’s go Skyblazers!” I yelled with the others, though my voice cracked from more than just excitement.

“Toledo! Toledo!” echoed across the rink.

I crossed my fingers behind my back. Rowan had promised he would make our relationship official if they won tonight and so I believe him so much, hoping they won.

But then my eyes caught at Brad- The new guy that was transferred to our school, as he moved like lightning, targeting Rowan who was with the puck.

“Green 18! Come on! Come on! And here we go. Right, set, hut!”

The puck dropped.

“Go! Go! Go!”

The crowd was cheering with so much enthusiasm but for no particular reason, my heart beat so loud I couldn’t hear myself think.

“Piercing roll left, looking for Hendricks and picked off by the Icebreakers!”

“Let’s go Rowan!” I shouted, even though my chest felt tight.

“Oh! And Rowan missed that. What the fuck!” the commentator said.

I groaned loudly.

Reset.

Brad caught the puck this time. He made a gesture and yelled something to his teammate.

“Kill! Kill! Kill! Green 80, hit!”

I watched Rowan glide toward the puck, fast and sharp, but Brad was faster. With one slick move, he clipped Rowan’s path and knocked him flat. The crowd gasped as he hit the ice hard.

“Brad Jasper rolling left, looking like he found Ashby for the touchdown!”

“And that was a big hit for the sack!”

The game was spiraling.

“Defense! Defense!” we chanted, all of us jumping in time, even though my heart was still trying to be at a place.

“Brad’s gonna tuck it and run! He’s at the 50… 40… 30… 20… 15… one man left—touchdown Brad!”

The crowd exploded. Brad’s team swarmed him, yelling like they’d won the Super Bowl.

“Wait—are the Skyblazers losing?” I blinked up at the scoreboard. Five minutes left.

But then, the Referee added ten minutes more.

“And here comes the winner! Icebreakers United wins the championship!”

I didn’t even feel my legs anymore.

I was still trying to figure out how to find Rowan, maybe hug him or maybe just try to cheer him for the loss.

But then I felt a shove and just immediately, I hit the ground hard. Before I knew it, I noticed that I had smacked my skin a little. The sting of the fall hit seconds after.

“Ha ha ha!” I heard different voices all around me.

I stood up, slowly and quietly.

Then I saw her.

That was Sophia like I had somewhat envisaged.

I didn’t think and so, I just reacted as I moved close to her and shoved her real hard.

“What the fuck! Bitch!” she screamed, stumbling back like she didn’t see that coming and next thing, she was already on the floor. 

Good! That serves her right as a form of quid pro quo. But then, everywhere was quiet as the crowd around didn't see that coming too, although few gasped out in shock.

“Goddamn it.”

That voice interrupted the quiet space but it sounded like that of Rowan.

I turned with my heart doing backflips, hoping he saw it all and that he would come to my defense too.

“Rowan!” I called out, walking toward him like he was air and I had been drowning.

But he didn’t stop and didn’t even look at me. He rather walked right past like I was invisible, then went to Sophia.

To my surprise, he helped her up.

And then, he kissed her.

Right there in front of me. In front of everyone.

“What the…” I whispered.

But the rest of the sentence never came.

I couldn’t move or breathe for a minute as I stood there like some unwanted extra in a movie I thought I was starring in.

And in that moment, I could relate vividly to all Sophia said to me earlier.

I had never felt betrayal like that in my life.

Not even close.