FINDING OUT A DREADFUL PART OF ME

CHAPTER 3✍️

     

 I woke up in an unfamiliar place; the ceiling was far different from the ones in my room. “Where the hell am I?” I asked myself. I tried getting up, and that was when I saw the bed I was lying on. “I’m in a freaking hospital.”

 

 The door creaked. I looked up to see what was wrong, and I saw Lizzy walk in with a man that looked like, he’s in his late forties and yes, he was with a stethoscope on his neck. “Yeah, how great. Lizzy brought me to a fucking hospital.”

 “Hey, Starr, right? How’re you feeling?” the doctor asked, his voice gentle.

 

 I hesitantly answered, “I feel good doctor,” please can you give me and my friend a moment together? It’s really urgent. I need to speak with her.

 

 The doctor nodded sympathetically. “Of course, I’ll give you some privacy. But just for a minute, okay?”

 

 As soon as the doctor left, I turned to Lizzy, my voice low and urgent.

 

 “Why the hell did you bring me to a hospital, Lizzy? You know how much I hate hospitals, it smells, It makes me so scared and want to throw up. You really want to scare me and add to my problems?” I added, trying to keep my tone light despite the growing unease in my chest.

 

 Lizzy’s expression turned serious, her eyes locked on mine. “You fainted, Starr. You scared the hell out of me. I didn’t know what else to do.”

 

 I frowned, trying to remember. “Fainted? What do you mean? I just….. I don’t know, I felt dizzy or something.”

 

 Lizzy’s grip on my hand tightened. “Don’t worry, I’m here and everything will be fine. You don’t have to be scared. And the doctor also said your intake of alcohol was too much, it’s filled on your system and it isn’t good for your condition, but he didn’t say the condition.

 

 

 I didn’t know how to respond, so I gave a simple answer. “Condition? What’s he talking about?” I freaked out.

 

 “I don’t know, Starr, he didn’t say. He only mentioned he’d say it when you wake up.”

 

 “Well, tell him to come In” I quickly said, cause at that point I was so scared to the teeth.”

 

  The doctor walked in, with an expression plastered on his face, and trust me, that expression made me so scared that I began to panic. The look on his face made me know that there was something wrong, even if he tried covering it up with a smile.“Okay, ladies, let’s take a look at your test results, shall we?”

 

 The expression of the doctor turned sympathetic., as he began. “You’ve hyperthyroidism.”

 

 Immediately, he said that word. My brain and my system stopped working for a minute. I felt I had been punched in the gut, my breath knocked out of me. I didn’t hear anything else he was saying; I only saw his mouth moving. It was as if time had frozen, and all I could think was, “What? How? Why?”

 

 I forced myself to calm down, taking a few deep breaths, and focused on the doctor’s words. “It’s caused by stress and anxiety, Alcohol Consumption, Genetics pre-deposition and Hormonal Imbalance,” He continued.

 

 I felt a lump form in my throat as I processed the diagnosis. “So, it’s not just one thing, it’s a combination of everything,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady.

 

 The doctor nodded, his eyes filled with empathy. “Yes, unfortunately, it’s a complex combination. And it won’t kill you if you’re on proper medications. But it will trigger intense symptoms like, Fatigue, memory loss, weight loss, panic attack, and slow conception. But don’t worry, we can manage it with medications.

 

 I took a deep breath, trying to absorb the information. “Okay, thank you, doctor.” And trust me, the only one that got my attention was the last one, a slow conception.

 

Oh my God, was that why I couldn’t conceive? All this while I’ve been in darkness, I’ve been suffering, unaware of the underlying sickness that had been ravaging my body. I have been sick.

 

Without a doubt, I know I’ve lost Charles forever. There’s definitely no way he’d ever come back to me. I’m doomed!!

 

I and Charles had been trying to conceive for months, cause he said that’s the only way his mother would allow me to be his wife, even though I was more capable in other things like taking care of our bills, He insisted, that his mother needed to be sure that, the person he’s getting married to would be able to give her multiple grandkids as she was only able to give birth to Charles. “Fuck!!!….my life is over, and I should have known that was a lie, he had no intention of settling down with me, he didn’t love me enough to bear with me,” I banged my hands on the table.

 

I tried so hard to get pregnant, I just didn’t understand why it was taking so much time for me to conceive. Other women get pregnant effortlessly. Why is mine so difficult? Why am I begging my body to cooperate? I always said that to myself, but I didn’t know I was walking around in a medical condition.

 

Which man would want to be with a woman with fertility issues? I’d never find any other man that would love with this condition. “Why me?” I questioned myself. Indeed, I’m CURSED!!! I said again with tears streaming down my face furiously.

 

I felt a lump in my throat as Lizzy’s eyes locked onto mine, filled with concern. The doctor went to my bedside trying to set up an IV bag, but I cared less. A phone made a beeping sound, and I turned to face Lizzy. She stood up and walked to where she kept our phones. I had even forgotten I had a phone till she said, “Starr, it’s yours that made that beep sound. I think you’ve got a message.”

 

I unlocked my phone, and I saw it was a message from Charles. My mind raced quickly as I was about to press open. What does he want to say to me? I thought to myself, What else? It must be an apology or something.

 

I pressed open, and I got the most shocking message ever. I quickly scrolled through the messages, my heart sank.

 

“You’re invited to my wedding,” I read the message, accompanied by a formal invitation card with a photo of Charles and his bride to be. She looked exactly like the woman he was in bed with. Oh, I get it now. He already had it planned out, and I was just a money-making machine to give them a better future.

 

My world crumbled around me, and I stared blankly at my screen, my mind racing with questions. How could he do this to me? Didn’t our relationship mean anything to him? Really, a wedding?!!!