I made up my mind, which didn’t mean that things were going to be easy.I rode my bike over to Adele’s place. I thought about what to tell her the whole ride. If the way hadn't been so well lit by street lights, with few cars on the road, I might have crashed because I was so fucking distracted. A small corner of my mind even thought it would be a relief, because it would be some escape out of the situation.But I’m not escaping anymore. I can't keep being a fucking coward. I’m going to face this head on, and I need to get Adele to listen to me.I knew it wouldn’t be easy. She’d been really mad at me, and I couldn’t even blame her.Not too long later, I stood at Adele’s door. I didn’t knock, or ring the bell right away, because I was frozen on her doorstep. I’d arrived, but fuck it, I still didn’t know what I was going to say to her! I turned away from her door and paced down the short driveway, looking up and down the street. I wasn’t leaving, just…taking deep breaths to calm myself
After standing in front of her door for too long, I went back home, and went to my room, leaving the lights off. I just lay on my side on the bed, staring off into space. I wasn’t sure when I fell asleep, but the next thing I knew, I was opening my eyes and my room was brightly lit. The first thing I thought of, was what happened when I went to see Adele.I haven’t resolved anything.Why did I even bother going to her place if I was going to give up that easily? I should have been more insistent. I’d made up my mind, damn it! So why did I suddenly shut down when she said she could do it on her own without me? It was the fate I’d left her to, but it wasn’t something I could allow, was it?Get off your ass and go over there, then!But, my body wouldn’t move. I felt exhausted myself. I’d fallen asleep in my jeans, t-shirt and jacket. I’d at least taken off my shoes, but I didn’t have the comforter on me. I shifted around the bed, just enough to get the covers over me, then I closed my ey
I didn’t want to go back to my room. I was still wearing yesterday’s clothes, I hadn’t taken a shower or brushed my teeth. But I went outside, got on my bike, and just rode. I stopped by a store to buy something to eat, not sure how long I’d be staying out before I headed home. I just knew I didn’t want to see my dad.The spot was usually empty, almost no one ever went there. I was at this empty lot that gave way into a grassy field and some trees off in the distance. I parked my bike on the gravel, then walked all the way to the tree cover. There weren’t that many anyway, but I stopped by the closest one and plopped down at its base, the bag with my snacks beside me.For a moment, I just sat there, staring off into space and actually trying to think. I gave up eventually, sighing and leaning my head back against the tree.Fuck. How many days has it been since everything went to shit? I thought.I reached for the bag beside me and demolish the few snacks I’d bought, just some cookies
I don’t know how long we sat there, but it was done in companionable silence. I didn’t know what else to say, and Adele was nice enough to just sit there with me after what I’d done to her.I don’t deserve someone this wonderful, I thought to myself.“Liam?”I looked up, a little startled when Adele called my name out of nowhere. She was staring straight ahead with her lips pursed and this distracted expression on her face. She didn’t say anything for a long moment, but then she turned to me.“Are you serious about looking for the surrogate?” she asked.Her expression was completely serious, and I decided I wouldn’t take the question lightly. I thought about it, seriously.What good could come of knowing who it was? Probably nothing. They’d obviously moved on, if they hadn't tried to at least get to meet me. For all I knew, it could have happened at some point and Dad just hadn't mentioned that part, but that was probably just wishful thinking. I shouldn’t be raising my own hopes so c
We checked into the hotel. I picked up the keys to our room, and Adele and I went over to the elevator. I pressed on one of the buttons to bring the elevator down, then looked down at Adele.“Are you still with me?” I asked, tentative.She looked up at me with a smile, though it looked a little strained around the edges.“I’m not changing my mind,” she said, and it almost sounded like a Promise.We both looked up as one of the elevator doors opened. A few people got out, and Adele and I got inside, alone. Adele and I had space separating us, but as soon as the doors closed, I was hyperaware that I wasn’t alone in the elevator. My heart was beating so fast and hard, I could swear I heard it in my ears, and she probably did, too. I peeked at her out the corner of my eye, and she was standing there with her arms wrapped tight around herself. I would have thought she was uncomfortable, but I noticed how she kept throwing looks at my body that would have had me smirking any other time, bu
I wasn’t sure how long we lay there, both of us silent. I’d gone completely soft, and we’d shifted around enough that I’d pulled out of her. But she was still lying in my arms, only with me on my back and her half on top of my chest. I held her to me, with one hand carding through her soft hair.“I’m sorry,” I said, once I couldn’t stand the silence anymore.She hummed, then shifted on my chest, folding her hands on top of me, then resting her chin on them as she smiled up at me.“You said that before,” she reminded me. “When we were getting on your bike.”I grimaced. “Yeah, but that was a pathetic attempt at an apology. It doesn’t really count. I just really need you to know how fucking sorry I am…”I didn’t get far, before she was stopping me with her fingers on my mouth. She moved so she was a bit above me, bracing her body with her elbow. Her smile went from teasing to sweet, and she pecked a quick kiss on my jaw before meeting my eyes again.“Liam, you really don’t need to explai
I woke up unusually early today, and the moment I remembered what day it was, I couldn’t go back to sleep.Graduation day.Finally, the big day had come, for me, Liam, and my friends. Liam had managed to last the week, going to school with me every day, even though I was pretty sure he mostly just slept through his classes. Not that it mattered. As long as he attended, he was in the clear. Considering what a bad boy he usually was, I wouldn’t have been surprised if he was at risk of not graduating because of poor attendance. It wasn’t the only factor, but it was a problem he created himself, and could only fix by himself.Whatever. As long as we crossed this hurdle. Everything wouldn’t be magically fixed, but… It’s another step.I rolled to my side and pressed my hands to my stomach, a faint smile on my lips. While the thought of being a mother so young was still foreign to me, I was no longer as scared as I had been when I initially found out, only to have Liam practically abandon me
Hours later, everyone was assembled in the school auditorium for the graduation ceremony. The graduates were up on stage while the guests took up the rest of the room. It was mostly silent as the names were called out, then a short round of applause as the student got up to go and pick up their diploma.Since we were arranged alphabetically by surname, I wasn’t sitting with Liam or any of my friends. I only vaguely knew the people I sat with, but none of it mattered because very few of us even bothered with talking. We all had the same objective, after all; to get through graduation as quickly as possible. Even for those that hadn't exactly hated high school, we were all relieved to have it over with.Finally, it came to my name. I got up from my seat nervously and made my way to the stage and to the podium. It was a pretty short walk, but the whole room was quiet at that time, and I was the center of attention, so I worried.All sorts of things went through my mind, then. I could hav