Chapter 3

Twice in one day, I tried to end my life. Twice in one day, a man I was supposed to seduce stopped me. The Moon Goddess must have been laughing at me.

"Shouldn't you be at Celeste's bonding ceremony?" My voice was flat, dead. My wrist still throbbed where the silver had burned, though Marcus had wrapped it with healing herbs. I could feel Snow curled in a tight ball inside me, too weak to speak.

Marcus frowned. He looked away, jaw tight. "I could not stand watching her bind herself to another male. I needed to get away."

Right. He loved her too. He had given up his chance to train with the ancient healers at the Mountain Temple for her. Watching Celeste take Sebastian as her mate must have torn him apart. I remembered how he used to look at her during pack meetings. Like she was the moon and he was just a wolf howling in the dark.

"And you?" He gestured at my bandaged wrist. "Why were you trying to bleed yourself dry? Do not tell me you knew I would be nearby and wanted sympathy." He laughed coldly. "Can you not come up with a new act, Freya? The fake shadow sickness is old."

I said nothing. I had heard it all before. He always said I was faking.

But I really was sick. My wolf had been fading for years. The shadow sickness was real.

Every morning when I woke up and Snow did not greet me. I could feel it in the hollow ache behind my ribs where her presence used to live.

Marcus was a healer. He should have seen the signs. The lethargy. The disconnection. The way I sometimes stared at nothing for hours. He had watched me waste away. Yet he chose to believe Celeste instead.

When someone does not love you, everything you do is wrong.

I stood to leave, already planning my next attempt. Find a deeper part of the woods. A place no one would find me. Maybe my hollow expression frightened him, because he grabbed my arm and dragged me to his healer's cabin. Then he sent a messenger bird to Kael.

Kael arrived with Sebastian and Celeste.

Celeste cowered behind Sebastian, her eyes wide and wet, her lower lip trembling. She was good at that. Pretending to be afraid of me. Pretending to be the victim.

Sebastian's voice was ice. "Freya, do you really think this act will make us pity you? On my bonding day? After what you did to her?"

They all looked at me with disgust. Kael would not meet my eyes. Marcus stood with his arms crossed, his earlier concern already gone.

I laughed. It came out broken and bitter. "What if I told you Celeste was the one who hired those rogues? What if I told you she was the one who ordered them to drag me into the Dark Woods? I was the one they tore the clothes off. I was the one they held down while I screamed. I was the one they left bleeding in the dirt."

Celeste went pale. The four Alphas exchanged glances.

"That is a lie," she sobbed, clutching Sebastian's arm. Her tears fell fast and perfect. "You know how much that night destroyed me, Freya. You know the pain I have carried. The nightmares. The fear every time the moon goes dark. How can you stand there and lie like this? How can you be so cruel?"

"Enough," Kael roared. His claws extended at his sides. "Apologize to her. Now."

Marcus stepped closer, his voice cold and sharp as frozen earth. "Apologize. Now. You have caused enough suffering."

Sebastian said nothing. He just held Celeste tighter, not sparing me a single glance. His jaw was set. His hand stroked her hair. He had already decided I was the villain.

Celeste had the heroine's halo. Everything she said was truth. Everything I said was lies. She was pure. I was evil. Eighteen years of this.

Eighteen years of watching them fall at her feet while I drowned. I was so tired of fighting for a life not worth living. Snow barely stirred inside me anymore. The shadow sickness had been feeding on us both for so long.

I tried to leave. I turned toward the cabin door. But Kael blocked my path, his broad shoulders filling the frame. Marcus moved to the window, silent and watchful. Sebastian stayed near Celeste, but his eyes tracked me like a predator watching wounded prey.

"You are not going anywhere," Kael said. "We cannot trust you alone. You will stay here where we can see you. Marcus and I will take turns watching you. No more running off to hurt yourself or someone else."

They meant to keep me prisoner. Soften me with watching eyes until I broke. I had no strength left to fight them.

So they did. All night, they took turns. Kael sat by the door, arms crossed, eyes never leaving me. Marcus paced by the window, back and forth, back and forth. They brought me food. I would not eat. They brought me water. I would not drink. I just stared at the wall, trying to starve myself to death, to fade away until nothing was left of me or Snow.

Then something inside me went quiet.

Snow had been weak for months. The shadow sickness had been eating away at her, eating away at us both. But that night, I felt her let go. A soft whimper, then silence. The space where she used to live became cold and empty. My wolf was gone. I was alone in my own body for the first time in eighteen years.

I stopped blinking. I stopped breathing deeply. I just sat there, hollow.

Finally, Marcus noticed something was wrong. He crossed the room and grabbed my hand. His fingers were warm. Mine were cold as death. He turned my face toward his and looked into my eyes, really looked, for the first time in months.

"Freya," he said slowly. "Do you know who I am?"

Silence.

He waved a hand in front of my face. I did not flinch. I did not blink.

Kael's voice wavered. "What is wrong with her?"

Marcus's brow furrowed. He pressed two fingers to my temple, reaching out with his healer's gift. I felt his presence brush against something cold and empty inside me. He pulled back slowly, his face troubled.

"I do not know yet," he said quietly. "But something is deeply wrong. This is not an act. She is not faking." He looked at Kael, and for the first time, I saw something like concern. Real concern. "She seems to truly have the shadow sickness..."