CHAPTER 16

ZARIA

 

Eventually, their voices faded as they moved farther away. A door closed, and the house settled again.

 

I lay back fully on the bed.

 

The mattress was soft enough.

 

“Wow.” I stared at the ceiling, breathing slowly. I thought of how Mama Li used to hum while sweeping the yard. How she used to scold me gently for staying out too late. How she would press food into my hands even when I said I wasn’t hungry. I thought of the day I left this house at sixteen, carrying a small bag and a head full of anger and fear.

 

I had no phone then. No way to call or explain… life had swallowed me whole, and somehow, I had never found my way back.

 

Until now.

 

I turned onto my side and pulled the blanket closer. Mama Li was still here waiting for me.

 

Would Renzo… before I knew it, sleep came in a way that felt sudden.

 

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While morning came quietly.

Soft light pushed through the thin curtains, and the distant sound of someone moving around the house, opening drawers, boiling water, living their normal life…was a bit overwhelming.

I woke up stiff and sore, my muscles aching in places I did not even remember straining, and for a moment I lay there staring at the ceiling, trying to remember where I was and why my chest felt tight in that familiar, uncomfortable way.

Then everything came back.

Renzo. The escape. The road. The fear. And the truth that sat deep inside me, heavy and impossible to ignore.

“Fucking hell,” I pushed myself up slowly and swung my legs over the side of the bed, pressing my feet into the cool floor.

It was going to be a… weird day. I stood up and stretched my arms over my head, wincing as my back protested. Without really thinking about it, I began to move the way I always did when my head felt too full and my body needed structure to hold it together.

There was no Renzo here.

Keeping that at the back of my mind, I changed into simple clothes, tied my hair back, and stepped into the small open space near the window, where the morning air carried the sound of birds.

I started slowly.

Simple stretches. Neck. Shoulders. Arms.

I breathed in and out carefully, counting in my head, letting my body lead while my thoughts stayed quiet for once, and for a few minutes, it worked.

Then I began doing light exercises… nothing intense, just movements I had done a hundred times before, squats and controlled bends…

At first, it felt fine.

Then an odd feeling rolled out of my stomach. It started as a strange warmth, which was not pain or nausea either, but it made me pause and place a hand on my abdomen.

I kept going.

I straightened, lifted my arms again, and bent forward, and that was when the feeling hit harder, rising quickly from deep inside my stomach up into my chest, sudden and sharp enough to make me freeze in place.

I swallowed once.

Then twice.

My mouth filled with saliva in a way that made my heart start to race, and a cold sweat broke out across my back.

“No,” I muttered under my breath, bending forward slightly. The room tilted as the clean smell of soap I liked suddenly felt too strong.

Oh, shit.

I was going to vomit. My legs barely made it to the small trash bin near the table before I dropped to my knees, gripping the edge of the bin as I retched loudly.

My throat burned.

My eyes watered instantly.

I gagged again, harder, my stomach contracting violently as everything inside me rebelled, and I had no choice but to let it happen.

My body folded in on itself as wave after wave came without mercy.

By the time it eased, I was shaking. I stayed there on the floor breathing hard with my forehead resting against the edge of the bin. Unceremoniously, my hair slipped loose from its tie.

This was not stress or bad food.

I knew that even before my mind fully formed the words. It was the fucking…tears flowed out of my eyes, dripping down my nose and onto the floor as I knelt there, overwhelmed by the reminder I had been trying not to face.

Morning sickness.

I pressed a hand over my mouth as another wave of nausea rolled through me.

Footsteps sounded outside the door.

“Zaria?” Mama Li’s voice came through, careful but alert. “You okay?”

I tried to answer, but all that came out was a weak sound.

The door opened a second later.

“Oh,” she said softly, immediately crossing the room and crouching beside me. “Morning sickness.”

I looked up at her, my eyes wide and wet and she met my gaze with something knowing. “You exercise too early,” she said gently, rubbing my back in slow circles. “Body still sleeping. Baby says no.”

That single word made my chest cave in.

Baby.

I shook my head weakly, tears falling again as she helped me sit back against the bed, handing me a cup of warm water that I drank in small sips.

My hands trembled so badly that I nearly spilled it.

“I didn’t want it to be like this,” I whispered hoarsely.

Mama Li sighed and pressed her forehead briefly against mine.

“Life never asks,” she said simply. “It just comes for no reason.”

She stood and opened the window wider, letting fresh air rush in. Then she disappeared into the bathroom and returned with a damp cloth to wipe my face.

“Rest,” she said firmly. “No exercise today. You listen to bodynow.”

I nodded, too drained to argue as she guided me back onto the bed and pulled the covers up around me, tucking me in with care.

As she turned to leave, she paused at the door.

“But Zaria,” she paused, not looking back.