002

I couldn't put into words how I felt, was it worse than betrayal, anger, unbelief, frustration I couldn't say but how could they? Was I that disposable? My life had been turned upside down for every decision they had ever made and they wanted to do it again.

I had to drop out of college because they couldn't afford it and I tried to handle it myself and pick up a part-time job but things got way worse that the pressure on me was on bearable that I couldn't keep up I had to focus on paying bills while my brothers, my older brothers at that gallivant around claiming they couldn't work menial jobs for others to save their face and mother never had an issue with them and kept on pressuring me to pick up more jobs saying things like

“They are trying to fix things, you just have to endure for a bit” she will always say and years passed and nothing happened or changed for the better instead it got even fucking worse

And how they could pay me back was to sell me off like a commodity? I was beyond livid

I was pacing back and forth in my room when I heard a knock on the door

“Let me fucking be!!” I shouted in anger yanking a fistful of my hair

“I don't have anything to say to you. I am not getting married!!” I added shouting

“Rae it is me” I heard my mother’s voice say

“Open the door,” she said when I said nothing

I swallowed back the tears that were choking in my throat before opening the door

“Can I come in?” she asked

“I already opened the door, didn't I?” I rolled my eyes in frustration

“Don't give me that attitude” she said as she walked in

“This isn't the time for any of that” I shot at her and I could tell she was caught aback of my tone. I was always the daughter who listened and did as she was told, never one to talk back or argue. That was how my mom raised me, she always said girls are to listen and speak only when needed but the anger brewing in me I couldn't keep that poise attitude. No fucking way.

“This is for our good don't be insensitive,” she said

“For our good? Or for you guys good?” I asked with raised brows

“Am I included in that good?” I asked

“Of course you are, There are some sacrifices you have to make for your family and this is just one of them,” she said

“The ones I have made aren't enough? I have to be sold off?!” I asked and she said nothing so I continued

“I dropped out of college, I work multiple jobs day and night without rest to keep us from starving while your so-called sons do nothing. Haven't I done enough? And this is what I get?!!” I screamed at her

“Racheal” she called my name in full

“Don't Mom, I can't hold it in anymore. I would rather die than get married” I huffed

“Do you know what is at stake, we los-”

“I don't fucking care what is at stake, I have done enough” I hissed cutting her off

“Do I mean nothing to you?” I asked fighting back my tears

“How are you okay with it, I am also your child” The tears ran down my face as I spoke, I couldn't hold it anymore my heart hurt badly as I spoke

“Do you prefer we die in this misery? We have been given a chance and I won't let you waste it” she shot at me, like she didn't care about how I felt and that broke me even more

“That is what family is about, you give everything you can” She patted my back lightly

“You are having dinner with him tomorrow so get ready” she added and turned to leave like what she said was nothing

“I am not going” I stood my ground and I meant every part of it, no amount of blackmail was going to move me

“Racheal!” she scolded

“Why are you so fucking selfish and have to make everything about you?” Jimmy stormed into my room with Josh behind him.

They had been listening to our conversation

“I don't care, I refused to be sold off like a fucking commodity!” I shouted stomping my foot on the ground

“Call it whatever you want I don't care, you are getting married and that's it!” Josh chimed in

“The contract has been signed” he added

“You return the money, I don't fucking care but I would not do it. I would leave the fucking house if that is what you want but you won't force me into anything” I hissed at them

“Mom, can you hear your daughter? Won't you say anything?!” they turned to my mother

“Rae, you have to or we lose everything,” Mother said

“Haven't we already?” I scoffed

“Where is this attitude from? I raised you better than this!” she shot at me, I bit my tongue to stop myself from saying anything else

“We would lose the house if you don't get married,” she said after a while

“What?!” I asked looking between them

“Is no one going to say anything?” I asked

“A loan was taken and the house was used as collateral. The bank has told us to evacuate or pay up” She spoke slowly like she was counting her words

Each word that came out of her mouth crashed on me like a rock, I felt stuck and couldn't bring myself to say anything further.

“With the money, we could clear the debt without batting an eye,” Jimmy said

“When was this?” I asked in a whisper

“Around last year” he answered and my head whipped up immediately

“What do you mean last year? I was already bringing money in” I asked

“You mean those changes?” Jimmy scoffed

“You think those changes could have kept us alive till now?” Josh asked and they both laughed while my ears rang just hearing them speak was unbelievable. All the hard work I put and dropping out of school to work just to get disregard, hurt more than I could have imagined.

“You need to get married or we lose the house,” Mother said and the tears in my eyes ran down freely.

The house was all we had left, it was the only memory I had left of father. I couldn't left them take that too.