MasukIt had been hours since I locked myself inside my room.The light outside my window had shifted from pale afternoon to the dull blue of evening, and then to full darkness, but I hadn’t moved. I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling, listening to the quiet hum of the house, feeling like I had folded back into an old version of myself I thought I’d buried.Hiding.Running.I hated how familiar it felt.I was tired of running. Tired of flinching at names, places, memories. Tired of acting like my past was something that could still hunt me if I stood still for too long. I had worked too hard to get here. I had bled too much to heal this far just to fall apart over one sentence from a guy who didn’t even know me.My cousin knows you.The words crept back in no matter how hard I pushed them away.I pressed my palm to my chest and breathed slowly, forcing myself to stay present. I didn’t want my past to ruin the small peace I had started building here. I didn’t want it to touch this life. Th
TESSABy the time my last class ended, my brain felt full in the dull, heavy way that came from too much information and too many new faces.I signed the final admission papers in the department office, my pen dragging slightly as I wrote my name for what felt like the hundredth time. Each signature felt like another quiet confirmation that this was real. That I was really here. That my past was behind me now, even if it didn’t feel that way inside my chestWhen I stepped back into the hallway, Adeline was already waiting for me, leaning against the wall with her phone in her hand.“Done?” she asked.“Finally,” I breathed out.She smiled and slipped her phone into her pocket. “Good. Come on. I promised I’d show you around properly.”We walked together through the campus. The buildings were old in a way that felt intentional, stone walls worn smooth by decades of footsteps. Ivy climbed up the sides of lecture halls. Students sat on benches with coffee cups, laughing, arguing, existing
I bent down slowly and picked up my keys from the floor.My hands were still shaking, fingers stiff and numb like they didn’t belong to me anymore. I stood there for a second too long, chest rising and falling unevenly, forcing air in and out like it was something I had to remember how to do.Someone brushed past me, then hesitated.“Hey, man… You okay?”I didn’t answer.I couldn’t.If I opened my mouth, something ugly would come out. So I pushed past him instead, shoulder clipping his arm as I walked toward the exit.The hallway felt too narrow. The lights were too bright. Every step echoed too loudly in my head. I didn’t look back. I didn’t slow down. I just kept moving until the cold air hit my face and the pressure in my chest loosened enough for me to breathe again.I stopped in front of my bike and stood there, staring at the metal like it was the only solid thing left in the world. My helmet hung from the handle. Frost clung to the seat. Everything looked normal.I wasn’t.I sw
JAXSONIt had been weeks since New Year’s Day.Weeks since everything in me cracked open and never quite fit back the same way.Life kept moving anyway. Morning after morning, I woke up to the same ceiling, the same dull weight pressing on my chest. Every day started with the same quiet hope that maybe today I wouldn’t remember. That maybe my head would be empty for once.It never was.I woke up exhausted no matter how long I lay in bed. Some nights I barely slept. Other nights I slept too much and still woke up tired. Food lost its meaning. I ate when my body complained loud enough, not because I wanted to. Whisky did nothing. Silence was worse. Noise was worse.The panic attacks came without warning now. Not loud at first. Just tightness. Short breaths. A sudden need to leave wherever I was. They were worse when my mind drifted where it always drifted.Tessa.I tried not to think about her. I tried not to picture her face. Tried not to wonder where she was, who she was with, whether
Morning came slowly, slipping through the curtains like it wasn’t sure it was welcome. I blinked awake to the faint chill of London winter seeping into the room, that sharp kind of cold that always made me feel both alive and tired at the same time.I sat up, stretched, and let myself breathe for a moment. Just a moment. Then I pushed off the bed and moved to get ready, because thinking too much this early was always a bad idea.My shower was quick—warm water, steam, a few seconds of pretending I wasn’t living in a mansion with strangers and ghosts of past mistakes still clinging to me. Afterward, I pulled on a pair of jeans, a sweatshirt, and my leather jacket. Warm, simple, comfortable. Something that felt familiar in a world that didn’t.When I picked up my bag and phone, Adeline’s voice floated out from the room opposite mine.“Tee, are you ready?”I caught my reflection in the mirror, hair falling around my face until I tucked it behind my ear. I swallowed, forced a little steadi
BACK TO SCHOOL.By the time we reached the part of London where King’s College was located, the sun had already dipped behind the tall buildings, leaving everything washed in a soft gray glow. The car slowed as we turned down a quiet, upscale street lined with mansions that looked like they’d been plucked out of some billionaire magazine spread.I sat there, gripping the strap of my bag, feeling a little like the world had somehow mistaken me for someone who belonged here.Honestly, I had thought we were going to stay in a dorm. A normal student dorm. I had mentally prepared myself for tiny rooms, mismatched furniture, and girls arguing in hallways.But Mr. Gates told me last night that we wouldn’t be staying on campus.No — we were staying in a mansion.With the Ashford twins.Apparently, this was the same place Adeline and her twin sister stayed last year. A “friend-family” arrangement between the Gates and the Ashfords. Mr. Gates and Mr. Wolfe had bought the place together as a hal







