Chapter 5 - Clash Of Thoughts

RACHEL

My belongings, most of them, were sprawled carelessly on the floor. Tears rushed to my eyelids as I took slow but steady steps toward them. Jeremy had made something clear tonight: he didn’t care what I thought or felt about his order masquerading as a suggestion. He had made his choice, and he was gonna stick to it. He didn’t even waste a day before flinging my things out of the room for his girlfriend.

Maybe it was the heaviness of the situation or the reality I’d finally clung to, but I burst into laughter. That was the only thing I could think of. I crouched, still laughing, and one after another, I packed my belongings properly into the bags.

Afterward, I pushed them into the next room. Thankfully, the cleaner had cleaned it yesterday. Then I went straight into the bathroom. My head was hot, and my body burned from the exasperation and frustration I hadn’t vented out. Since there wasn’t any scapegoat in sight, I decided to do things my way. Maybe it could even help me think of what to do. Clearly, Jeremy had made his choice. It was time for me to make mine.

When I got into the bathroom, I removed the suit and tossed it into the laundry basket. Something fell from it before it reached the basket. When I looked closely, I realized it was a business card. I didn’t know if he intentionally put it there or merely forgot it. Regardless, I picked it up.

Sebastian Raymond. That was his name. Too nice a name for a dumb man.

I placed the card by the side and walked into the shower.

With my eyes shut, I let the water fall freely on my head. Jeremy’s statement, “I want an open marriage”, and Sebastian’s statement, “Agree to it and have a boyfriend”, clashed in my head. I snorted. Sebastian’s statement was really out of line. I was trying to save my marriage, not ruin it.

After spending close to an hour in the bathroom, I stepped into the bedroom and changed into a comfortable nightwear. Maybe it was the aftereffect of the alcohol, but I felt weak and sleepy, and for that, I was grateful. At least I wouldn’t have to stay up all night creating scenarios in my head and wondering how things got ruined between us.

Tucking myself into bed, I stared at the ceiling, trying to distract my mind from the whole thing, but it was impossible. Jeremy’s and Clara’s faces kept flashing before my eyes. I imagined them cooped up together and laughing hysterically at me. My eyes burned with threatening tears, but I blinked them back. It was useless. Crying wouldn’t solve anything anymore. Emotionally blackmailing him would only worsen the disrespect he already had for me. So there was no need wasting my strength on that.

“Baby! Uhm… Ouch!” Clara’s moans wafted into my ears, pulling me out of my train of thought.

I sat up on the bed instantly, beads of cold sweat breaking out on my forehead. This was already happening? They were already having sex? It was barely a day since he proposed the open marriage.

The tears I’d successfully suppressed rushed out unrestrained. I didn’t try to stop them this time. Maybe it would stop my heart from aching. Maybe it would steady my body and stop it from shaking.

“Gosh! Babe! You’re so good. Give it to me deeper, Jeremy,” she continued, making obvious noise.

I could swear Clara was being intentional with the moans. She wanted me to hear. To make me know she won and I lost. To tell me she had invaded my marriage like she promised.

I dug my nails into the mattress and clamped my teeth on my bottom lip, hoping it would stop me. Stop me from making the decision echoing in my head. Stop me from making this mistake. But it didn’t.

I got out of bed and scurried outside. Even when I begged my legs to stop and turn back into the room, they didn’t listen. My mind screamed at me, but my body did otherwise. I stood in front of my matrimonial bedroom, and before I could think, I knocked on it harshly. I didn’t pause. I thumped again, harder and more violently this time, as if I wanted to bring the door down.

They didn’t respond, and knowing the reason they hadn’t only fueled the fury within me. I kept knocking. My hand hurt, begging me to stop, but I didn’t. If it would take an hour for them to open the door, then I wouldn’t stop.

However, it didn’t even take five minutes. I was only about to knock again when the door went ajar, revealing Clara’s face. She was dressed in a white mesh transparent nightgown that showed every part of her body. She was no different from someone unclad.

“Hello, Rachel.” She waved with a pretentious mechanical smile on her lips. “You’re back.”

I darted a hateful gaze at her, gritting my teeth so I wouldn’t burst out and give her the satisfaction she hoped to get from provoking me.

“Where’s Jeremy? I need to talk to him.” I went straight to the point, cold and indifferent.

“He’s relaxing. You know…” She leaned forward and whispered, “We just had the best sex of our lives.”

I felt anger coursing through my veins as I listened to her. My hands curled into vengeful fists as I struggled with the urge to punch her. Instead of responding to her, I pushed forward, shoving her aside as I brushed past her. It was no use speaking to Clara. She was my competitor, so she would definitely look for every means to instigate trouble.

“Rachel, stop there. Why are you disturbing us this late at night?” she shouted behind me.

The scent of sex drifted into my nose as I scurried deeper into the room. My matrimonial room. And the funny part was that the scent wasn’t mine. It belonged to another woman.

I stopped walking as my eyes fell on Jeremy, who was sitting up on the bed. He only had his pants on. My eyes caught the sweat dripping down his abs. Again, my heart shattered. They really had sex. It wasn’t just an attempt to provoke me.

“Rachel,” he called. “You’re finally home. Did you see your clothes outside?”

My lips pursed. “Yes.” I inhaled, trying to catch my breath before I actually yelled and ruined everything.

“There was no space for Clara’s clothes, so I asked the—”

“I agree to the open marriage, Jeremy,” I announced.

Clara rushed to my side. “Are you serious about this? Oh my God. You are so—”

He chuckled. “I’ve always known you to be sensible and understanding. I knew you would eventually see things from my perspective.”

“Yeah, Jeremy.” I breathed out, ignoring Clara’s squeals beside me. “So, I’ll be having a boyfriend too.”

Abruptly, the smile on Jeremy’s face disappeared, and he stood up.

“That’s not possible.”