You are my Woman!

(Alina Pov)

I looked at his shocked face speechlessly, then dressed myself appropriately with an embarrassed smile.

I felt ashamed. I said I didn't want him but my body reacted so heavily to him. Thinking about the way my body has felt putty. I couldn't control myself, I didn't feel disgusted, all I felt was sweet sensations all over my body, I can't deny that. But… I can't give it a chance, I can't get hurt again, I don't want to face that same embarrassment, that same pain I had faced that day. And what I need now is not love, but power, I need to strengthen myself, I want to take revenge, I want to save my parents and take them out of the hole they are.

I looked at him and decided to make things clear, so I wrote in the book, “Yes, I truly had a mate before, but we didn't get married, but he is one of the reasons I left and you met me in that situation. I was rejected by my mate and now I don't have a mate. But you saying you are my mate is more confusing, because how is it possible to get another mate immediately after one gets broken? Besides I am sorry, you are nice, but I don't want to hurt you. I feel disgusted with myself right now, and I don't have the heart to take in someone as beautiful as you.” I showed him and watched him read it with furrowed brows and then his face grew darker and menacing and I knew I had managed to make him lose his temper.

I waited for his outburst, maybe hitting, but…

“You got rejected by your mate?! How dare he? Who does he think he is? How dare he reject my woman?!”

I looked at the raging man speechlessly. That's not the point, okay! The point is I want to reject him! He is not getting the point at all making me shocked and speechless. So what should I say now?

Then he looked at me deeply, “And what do you mean by you feel disgusted with yourself? You are my, Kennedy’s woman, and you should have confidence in yourself!”

“I am not your woman, I am not yours! I don't need a mate.” I can feel frustration building up inside me. Why isn't he getting it? He is not getting my point at all.

His voice sounded harsh, “Alina!” I knew I had angered him this time. Then he continued, “ I have never had a mate, you are my first woman. You think I had waited for my mate for so long and then when I got one I would watch her leave me? Why do I feel you are selfish, Alina?”

His voice shook me a bit. He said I was selfish. But…

“Let's end this topic here. Take care of yourself, I would be out of the pack for a few days. I will see you when I get back. Take care.” He said and turned back, leaving me to watch his elegant back as he walked out.

But he is going out? Well, it's fine that way, it's awkward facing him and discussing this topic.

I looked down and was shocked to see my coth in disheveled, with my boobs still outside.

“Goodness! That pervert!” He had not warned me or helped me adjust my dress. I bet he had enjoyed watching my exposed self.

I stood up and adjusted my clothes but somehow my mind went back to his words and his angry face.

My heart was stifled and I couldn't help but want to call him back, maybe apologize, but what should I do after apologizing? Reject him again? Even if the mate bond had not been broken. Though I couldn't feel the pull much, I could feel the string. I knew he was hurt and he meant it when he said I am selfish.

But selfish? Haha!

Why can't I be selfish a bit? Why should I give myself to a man I had just met not long ago? Why should I accept him as my mate after the one I had put my trust in almost killed me?

I stared at the mirror in the room, I looked at myself, and my petite self looked back at me. My raven black hair scattered around my back, and my green eyes stared back dazely at me, the shine and fragile eyes which were filled with life and love were now dull-looking. It lacks the shine that once amazed me,

I remember someone once saying how he loves my eyes so much.

That day I clocked eighteen, filled with young expectations. We walked on the river bank alone as we held hands lovingly.

“Marcus, now that I turned eighteen would you introduce me as your mate as you promise?” I had asked shyly.

He had looked at me hesitantly and then smiled when he saw my furrowed brow.

“Silly! Why won't I? But can you wait for me, baby? You know I am trying to fight for a position next to the Alpha and I wouldn't need distractions for now, but I promise by the time I have what I want and able to keep you safe, I will take you and marry you!” He promised then and pecked my forehead and foolish me had believed him, and after that day he kept pushing it and sugarcoating me, even when he later got to a higher position.

I was a fool! Now I have nothing. I got rejected, my parents locked up, and now I am mute!”

Why? I asked myself in the mirror, I wish it was able to answer my questions.

I wanted to know why he had turned his back on my family who had always been nice to him. Why had he done this to me?

Has he never loved me before?

“Marcus!” I yelled in my heart, my heart felt like it was bleeding. My tears fell rapidly.

Have you ever been disgusted with yourself? Because I am right now! Because why would I hate and at the same time still have feelings for someone who had destroyed me?

“Why?!”