Betrayal

THEA

The bed is cold.

I reach out instinctively, my fingers grazing empty sheets, the faint scent of Sebastian’s cologne lingering in the air. My eyes flutter open, and for a brief, disoriented second, I thought I had woken up too early. The room was still dim, and I felt tired. I can never get enough sleep.

Then I turn my head.

The clock reads 9:23 AM.

My heart throbs.

I shoot up, my legs tangling in the sheets as I stumble out of bed. The alarm—why hadn’t I heard it? Had I been that exhausted?

Shit.

Today is Finn’s birthday.

I rush into the bathroom, my hands trembling as I turn on the shower. The hot water scalds my skin, but I barely felt it. I scrub quickly, rinsing away the exhaustion clinging to me like a second skin. 

After that, I hurried to pick a short floral gown I'd prepared for today. I wasn't there for last year's birthday portrait. I need to be there for this. 

By the time I made it downstairs, my hair was still damp, but I looked a little presentable, the dark circles already covered by make-up.

And then I stop.

The kitchen is alive with laughter.

Balloons hung from the ceiling, tied with neat ribbons. A "Happy Birthday, Finn!" banner stretches across the dining area. The table was covered with frosting, sprinkles, and half-decorated cupcakes. And in the middle of it all…

Finn.

His eyes sparkle as he stands on a stool, reaching to place a blue candle on a big cake. Sebastian stands beside him, steadying his waist. The nanny, Claire, was laughing at something Finn had said, her hands covered in flour.

They looked… happy.

Without me.

What happens when the people you love start building a world that no longer needs you in it?

A hollow ache spreads through my chest, but I force a smile and step forward.

I'm just being paranoid.

"Happy birthday, my love," I whisper, gathering Finn in my arms before kissing his chubby cheek.

He smells like home.

He giggles, his tiny arms wrapping around my neck. "Mommy! You slept too long!"

"I know, baby. I'm so sorry," I murmur, tucking a curl behind his ear. "Mommy was just really tired."

Sebastian didn’t look at me.

I glance at him, waiting for his usual sarcastic remark about me always working late, but he is focused on Finn, handing him another candle.

Claire smiles at me, "We wanted to surprise you. Finn wanted the decorations up before you came down."

Finn beams. "Do you like it, Mommy?"

I swallow past the lump in my throat and nod. "I love it."

The morning passed in a blur of preparations—setting the table, finalizing the decorations, making sure the cake was perfect. It was fine. I was fine.

Sebastian sits with Finn on his thigh, Claire adjusting the camera settings. I move to take my place on the other stool, reaching for Finn’s hand—

"Mommy, no," Finn says, pulling away.

I blink. "What?"

He points to the camera. “You should do it.”

“Huh? It's a family portrait, honey.” I say, my eyes darting from Sebastian to Claire and back to Finn, waiting for someone to say something.

His tiny hand motions for Claire to come closer.

“The three of us look more like a family than with you, mommy.”

I can’t think.

The words echo in my head, blurring everything around me. The decorations, the cake, the laughter. Even the warmth of Finn’s innocent voice feels distant, like I’m hearing it through water.

I stand up, tears stinging the corners of my eyes.

He wants this. It’s his birthday. I should give him whatever he wants. It's his day.

So, I force one on, a practiced curve of my lips that I hope he believes.

That's what mothers do right? Smile even when they want to break.

“Anything you like, honey,” I whisper, my voice barely steady.

Then, I move. Slowly, carefully, like if I’m too fast, the cracks in my chest will finally split open. Claire brushes past me, sliding into the seat I should have filled. Maybe she said something—maybe she murmured a quiet apology—but I couldn't hear it over the sound of my own heart breaking.

I set the camera, my fingers trembling as I press the shutter. I don’t check the angles. I don’t adjust the focus. I just take the pictures because I simply can't.

It's breaking me.

Finn laughs revealing his missing front tooth. I remember slipping five dollars under his pillow, telling him it's from the tooth fairy. Sebastian’s arm rests around Claire’s shoulder.

And I… I stand there, watching a picture-perfect family that I don't think I was ever part of.

Or was I?

But I threw it away, didn't I?

I can’t do this.

I straighten, swallowing hard.

"I need to go," I blurt out, my voice cracking at the edges. I don’t wait for a response, I don’t think I can bear hearing one.

I turn and walk out of the kitchen.

Out of the house.

Out before Finn or Sebastian can see the tears spilling down my face.

I don’t know how long I walked. How far.

The cold stings my skin, the wind howling through the streets, but I barely feel it. I just move, first walking, then running. Running until my chest aches, until the sharp sting in my lungs dulls the sharper sting in my heart. Until my legs tremble beneath me, and I have no choice but to stop.

I press a hand against a nearby wall, gasping for air.

I want to cry.

God, I need to cry.

But no tears came.

Maybe I’ve used them all up. Maybe there’s nothing left inside me but this hollow, aching space where something, everything, used to be.

I don’t know how long I stand there. Maybe minutes. Maybe hours. Maybe a lifetime.

By the time I turn back home, night has already fallen.

I barely remember the walk back, the streets a blur beneath my feet. All I know is that I need to see him. Finn. My little boy. My little angel.

I need to tuck him in. To kiss his forehead, to hold his tiny fingers in mine and remind myself that I’m still his mother, even if I’ve failed him. To kiss Sebastian again and apologize because I've failed as a wife.

Maybe he’s right. Maybe I am an absent mother. Always working. Always carrying more than I should. Always trying to hold a family together with hands that are never enough. Maybe motherhood is a losing game. Maybe it has been from the start.

You can’t eat your bread and have it, isn’t that what they say?

But when I unlock the door and step inside, my world stops.

Sebastian and Claire sit cuddled on the long sofa, barely dressed, lips locked, far gone in their little bubble to register my presence.

The TV plays in the background, casting soft warm glows on their being. Finn was on a couch, his sitting posture shows he's already asleep.

And the tears I thought I had exhausted come rushing back all at once.

“Sebastian…” I whisper, my voice weak.