chapter 49

EZRA

What do you mean that I'm your mate?

Out of all the questions I expected her to ask, this is far down the list.

I inhale sharply.

How do I even put it without scaring her off? Afterall, I've seen the emotions warring on her face when she told me sorry that time like she'd come to a conclusion in that little head of hers.

I watch her.

She sits stiffly, fingers twitching as she looks straight at me, waiting for my reply.

I clear my throat. 

“It means…” I start, my voice barely above a whisper. “That every instinct I have, the rage, the anger, the lust, the pull, is all tied to you.”

I reach out, wanting to touch her, wanting to feel her.

But my fingers stop just inches away from me. I don't want to scare her.

“I knew it the moment I saw you. The moment you stood up to me, when your smell permeated my nostrils, when my eyes met yours. Your soul, your fire, everything about you calls for me, Thea. It still does.”

“And—”

“Is that what your wife meant when she called me an Aureate?”

My hands ball into fist.

“She's not my wife, Thea. And yes, that's what Isla meant.”

“What's an Aureate?”

How much do I tell her? Maybe all. Maybe the more she knows about me, the more she can let me into her world. Maybe… just maybe.

“An Aureate is… the fated mate of a turned vampire.” I say.

I watch as her fingers stop twitching and her stiff posture slowly turns into something relaxed just like she always is when she's running her mouth before me while calling me different sort of names.

“So, you mean you are… turned?” She asks hesitantly.

I nod.

“That means there was a time when you were human?”

I nod again. “Yes. Eons ago.’

She nods slowly, her short bob hair moving as if coming to terms with it in her head.

Fuck. I want this woman. 

Her eyes snaps to mine again. “What happens if I don't want to be your mate or Aureate or whatever?”

My jaw ticks as I click my tongue.

Even with this, she's still trying to escape me. 

“What made you think I'm going to let you go?”

She gulps audibly, speechless.

“I'm never going to let you go Thea. For your information, I'm a pest. An immortal pest to be precise.”

She huffs but I continue.

“And to answer your question seriously, I don't only want you because I want you, sugarplum. We are already too far gone to back out now.”

She taps her fingers against the table, fixing me with a glare. “How so?”

“The council is against us having an Aureate. They will try to get rid of you. And…” I wander off.

“And what Ezra?” 

“And my brothers.” I add slowly.

Silence.

“This is pure unfiltered madness.” She says with a laugh, voice laced with disbelief, but there’s no real fear in her voice. Just... frustration. Stubbornness. That same fire that made me know she was mine.

I smile as I stand up.

“You think I don’t know that?” I murmur, stepping around the table until I’m right beside her, breathing her in. “You think I haven’t tried to undo this? To unfeel you? To remind myself that Aureates are weaknesses, our undoing? That fated mates aren't supposed to be?”

She shifts in her seat, but doesn’t move away. Doesn’t look away either.

“I wake up every night with your name on my tongue,” I confess, voice low. “And I go to sleep tasting the ghost of you. And in between? I’m fighting myself not to tear through this city and claim what’s mine. Forcefully.”

Her throat bobs. “Ezra…”

“You call this madness?” I lean down, one hand braced on the table beside her, the other brushing her jaw—so gently it’s almost reverent. “You haven’t seen a fraction of it, sweetheart.”

I let that sink in.

Let her feel the pulse between us.

Let her breathe the storm I’ve kept chained since the moment I saw her. Since the moment I knew.

She parts her lips like she wants to say something—maybe a protest, maybe a plea—but I cut her off softly.

“If you run, I’ll chase you.”

“If you fight me, I’ll bleed for you.”

“But if you stay…” I tilt her chin up, eyes burning into hers. “I’ll burn the whole damn world down just to keep you and everyone that matters to you breathing.”

She blinks.

Once.

Twice.

And then her hand slaps mine away from her jaw, not harsh—but firm.

“That’s not romantic, Ezra. That’s psychotic,” she says flatly.

But she doesn’t move. She doesn’t leave.

Her chest rises and falls in uneven rhythm, like her body’s at war with her logic.

“I’m not some helpless girl you can chain to your eternity,” she says, voice low and fierce. “And I’m not yours just because fate says so.”

My smile doesn’t falter. If anything, it widens.

“You keep saying you’re not mine,” I say,  “but you haven’t walked away yet.”

She glares at me. “That’s because you just told me your council wants me dead. And your brothers might too. So forgive me if I don’t want to walk out alone into your monster-infested world.”

The word monster cuts deeper than it should.

I straighten up slowly, my jaw clenched. “I would never let anything touch you.”

“That’s not the point.”

“It’s the only point that matters.”

She stands now too, staring up at me. “No. What matters is that I have a choice. And you don’t get to take that from me, Ezra. I don’t care if fate tattooed my name across your soul. It would have been better if I'm only responsible for myself but I'm not. I'm responsible for Finn too. For his future. Not just for mine.”

I step closer, her defiance only making my blood boil hotter. Not with anger—with need. Because I finally get this now.

And again,

Fuck, I want this woman. This fire. This… kindness.

“When I say I want you,” I say. “I mean I want you. I want everything that comes with you, from you. Finn included.”

She gulps.

I step even closer and place my hands on her chin.

“Sugarplum, just… let me in. My world is dangerous but yours is too.”

And I've never been scared in my life.

But what if she refuses. What if Malik gets a whiff of her and thinks she's the reincarnation of his Hailey. Just… what if?

Something wet meets my hand, breaking my train of thoughts.

Tears. 

She's crying.

The last time she did that before me, she was not sober.

I pull her closer to my chest and press her head again my dead heart as she sniffs, as if trying to pull her emotions back.

“You don’t have to hide from me,” I murmur into her hair. “Not the tears. Not the fury. Not the fear. I’ll take all of it.”

She sniffs again. “You don't understand, you bastard.”

I chuckle, rubbing her back.

“I will, if you make me.”

She taps my arms, my cue to pull away.

And I hesitate before pulling away.

She rubs her eyes aggressively with the back of her palm before her eyes finally meets mine again, now red and wet.

“My last question for now.” She says, staring straight into my eyes.

I lean against the desk, hands shoved in my pocket.

“How do you kill a vampire?” She asks.