INAYA -When I woke up the next day I found Hamza already awake as his habit of waking up early, he was working too per his habit of working all day long. The only difference was that this silly man was using his phone instead of his laptop to work because I previously said his laptop was prohibited in the bed when I opened my eyes and found him struggling in his attempt to zoom in and out to read the files.I felt somehow guilty about it."you're awake?" He asked."hmm.. I'll go have a shower and then I'll go cook us something for breakfast, we only had takeouts for days"He nodded in agreement with a wide smile.The reason for my sudden generosity is the mentioned above, feeling guilty.Actually not only that, ever since that man moved in I was freeloading on him in the matter of eating since he has much more budget for food than the one I can afford, the food he ordered daily was exceptionally delicious and nutritious, not to mention that he always ordered 2 meals without asking wh
I followed him to the balcony... It was the logical thing to do, the moment I opened the door two events happened, the first was a cold freeze that hit me instantly, and the second was that I found Hamza shouting on the phone,"you have one hour! you find them in one hour!""Hamza?" I called his name very concerned, it was very rare to hear him lose his calm and yell.He cut the call the moment he heard my voice, and he pushed me inside the living room the moment his eyes caught me standing in the balcony."Why would you follow me to the balcony with your hair wet!" he scolded right after he slammed shut the balcony door.He went to the drawer in the living room where I usually put my hair dryer and tried to look for it aimlessly, the reason for that being that my hair dryer was actually above my bed in the bedroom, I threw it there carelessly right in front of Hamza's watching eyes before I went to the bathroom to take a shower... So his research was fruitless from the start.I had a
INAYA -Once Hamza finished talking about his struggle of living as a "restrained male" with his wife I had no comment to make, it was inappropriate to praise him for being so professional in this aspect to the point where I started to question my womanhood, and it was inappropriate as well to say,"keep up the good work! You were doing just excellently! I can't promise you though to make things easier for you because this woman will remain tempting even wearing a large hijab!"So I ended up spending a long time trying to suppress my laughter and unexplainable joy just to say in the end,"oh... I see"I headed towards the kitchen to cook right after I said this short sentence leaving Hamza staring at me dumbfounded, I had the widest grin on my face the moment I gave him my back, needless to say, it, was this attractive woman - of course I mean me- had suddenly gained back her appetite and energy, and decided to lead the life of a healthy eating person.I opened the fridge to see what I
"I'll wait Inaya... Until you're ready"Hearing that, a small part of me wanted to shout, who said I'll ever be ready! Today was just an exception... I still want a divorce!"But the major part of me still wondered, "do I really still want to get a divorce?""Hamza" I called his name whispering."hmm""This doesn't mean that we're back... I don't want you to misunderstand."He suddenly put his hand gently on my chin, and raised my face to look at his as if he needed to look inside my eyes to speak with me, he said,"I know that Inaya, but this isn't nothing as well... Is it?"I shook my head, so he smiled widely and then he pecked my forehead gently.He lifted me from my waist to put me back on the floor as if I was a little baby, and then he ordered like his bossy usual self,"you dry your hair before you catch a cold, I'll go have a shower so quick and we'll eat together when I finish"I nodded, On my way to my room I heard his phone ringing again, he took the call on the balcony so
INAYA - When I was 18 years old, I said to the 22 years old Hamza,"I don't believe that there's something such as selfless love in the world... We all are selfish, either we want to be loved by others without loving them back, or we want as much love from others as we give them, We always want to be on the receiving end, This is how the world works, take us for example... If I say that I don't love you not even a single bit, would you still insist on wasting your emotions on me knowing that you'll never receive anything in return?"At that age, I was in my last year of high school, and I wasn't in my best mental shape.I used to be a top student in middle school But ever since my mother abandoned me, I abandoned everything else in my life with her departure, my friends, my dreams, and my studies.I felt like everything was pointless... And that people were frauds.I moved from being the first student in the class to hanging just above the average, what saved my barely surviving grad
"Just leave them to me, and I'll wash them for you, But where did they get the dirt from?""I fell" he explained.I inspected him for a bit to search for any apparent wounds from the fall, and then I asked,"did you hurt yourself?"He looked at me pensively for weird moments, I was thinking he was going to report a series of injuries after such long thinking. Unexpectedly he just replied,"No"I looked at the basket and I felt very lazy, we didn't have a washing machine at the time, not because we couldn't afford it, but because my stingy grandmother simply found it wasteful to purchase a machine for something we can do handily. I really had no heart to scrub and squeeze at Hamza's moment, so I sneakily said to Hamza,"how about we have a chat for a bit? We haven't spoken at all since you came. I have sweet hawthorns too, I'll share some with you while we chat"He nodded with an elegant smile, and then he followed me to the bench where I was sitting.We chatted for so long, it was mai
He paused and looked at me for a bit and then he called,"Inaya"I felt strange with him calling my name although I was sitting right beside him, still, I replied,"yes"He took a deep breath... And then he said,"If you can't possibly love me back then I choose to have this with you... A compromised love"It was only many years later when that man honestly admitted, "I hate hawthorns... I hate them the way you hate cabbages, I really don't stand their taste"Yet he forced himself to finish half a bag of them on the rooftop just to accompany me... Just to stay with me.Wasn't that a blunt compromise after all that I still never saw?When he confessed:"I really... really love you"I couldn't even look at the man lying on the bed beside me because I was choking in guilt, it wasn't like his feelings were not obvious, I just chose not to see them. it took me so long before I finally asked,"Since when?""Always." He replied without a drop of hesitation."Even back when I was 18?" I asked
INAYA -I thought that Nadir's issue was long settled by Hamza but I was wrong, Thankfully I was wrong.I was too naive to blindly trust him and hand him Nadir's urgent demand to meet with me, doing that... I almost lost the chance to know the truth that was kept from me for so long.Hereby, I send my attributions to Nadir, the brave knight, and filial son, and Hamza, that scum.It was a regular Tuesday when a coworker of mine walked inside the office where I worked and he informed me,"Inaya, There's a call for you in the reception office,"Being someone who never received this sort of call I logically asked,"then should I go take this call in the reception office or will it be transferred here?"The coworker looked at me rather troubled and then he said,"I forgot to ask the secretary to transfer the call, you just go take it there"As for the reason for us both being this troubled and reluctant in dealing with the reception office, it's because the secretary who works there is the