Ok, how do I answer best to this question. Yes, I like to fuck around in between and have one-night stands wouldn't really help getting away from the image of being a whore. Which I'm definitely not. Evans doesn't seem to be the guy to judge people that fast and I still feel guilty not telling him about what happened with Jake this week. So, I guess sticking to the truth as answer is my best option."I hope you don't get me wrong for what I am about to tell you now and besides Emi no one knows about this", his eyes are soft and full of curiosity."First of all, I hope you don't think bad about me after what I am telling you now, but I want to answer your question truthful. As mentioned I lost my virginity that night. The moans, the smell, the touches just everything about it, is burnt into my soul. After everything that had happened I wasn't able to trust anyone and didn't want to either. Two years ago, I started working in a pub in a nearby town. I did notice I still feel attractio
Looking in the mirror, it tells me I had definitely been crying way too much during the weekend. My eyes still look puffed and underlined. So, I decide to use some concealer and a light make up to cover it up a bit. Fuck I am not going while looking like some sort of zombie, on my first day at college.While pouring myself some coffee and putting some scones into the oven, Emily enters the kitchen."Fuck, you are wearing make up?", she exclaims baffled."Oh, this girl has her eyes already open, even without a coffee in her hand", I answer sarcastically."Have you slept at all? You still look like shit."Yeah thanks for pointing that out, the mirror told me the same. "Has anyone ever told you, sometimes it's better to keep your bloody mouth shut?""Yep, billions of times", she chuckles innocently while taking her cup of coffee I made her."Doesn't seem to have helped", I roll my eyes.We have a quick breakfast, before leaving way earlier than needed but I don't want to be late on my
At half past five Evans knocks at the door. Seeing as we work at the same place, we decided we could just as well walk there together.His eyes scan me, and a smirk appears on his face. "What's wrong with you today? No statement on your shirt?"I am wearing plain light blue skinny jeans and a plain white tank top. It's definitely very unusual for me."Yeah, I thought I wouldn't start to piss people off or scare the shit out of them on my first day at work. Anyways I might get more tips if I am not wearing something with like FUCK OFF on it", I shrug it off making Evans laugh lowly. "Besides some might be frightened enough by all my tatts.""Doubt it. Most of us are wearing tatts in there. But none of us are looking so damn hot with it."His words as so often make me blush. "Yeah right, you trying to impress your new colleague already. Think about it differently, it always depends on the point of view.""What the hell do you mean? Ah wait I get it, I am tall and can look right into you
Still a little drowsy, I thankfully take my coffee from Emily. I know there are many people out there who jump out of bed early in the morning, happy and wide awake. Well, I definitely don't belong to one of those people. I'm more like WTF it's way too early, let me sleep. As I never sleep good at night, it just kind of makes it worse in the morning. Without my coffee, I'd probably die or be grumpy the rest of the day. Emily wants to know everything about my first day at work, and I tell her everything, of course also mentioning Jake, while munching down my frosties."He left with two?" She gasps."Yep, such an idiot. And I really don't understand those girls.""Maybe they know of his qualities, I mean after what you told me," she trails off."Oh fuck, shut up. I wish that night had never happened."Well at least not with Jake, the night was great.******Entering the class, fucking Jake is already seated at his place looking quite dishevelled. I decide to have some fun and let my ba
Authors not: This is only a very first tiny glimpse from JakeShe just slammed her board down and left me behind. I stay in the background watching her with awe. Even if I'd like to crash the pool myself and skate with her, right now, it's best to stay where I am. I've never seen her skate so aggressive as she is now. But gosh she's so good and looks fucking hot at the same time.The sight of her like this is going to haunt my dreams, she has no idea how smoking hot she looks. Every guy is staring at her. Some of the guys here have started coming here every single day since last week, as they hope to get a glance at her.And fucking Evans never leaves her for long, always at her side. He's my best mate here, but right now I an't help it and fucking hate him. He gets to spend time with Sam, she talks to him, smiles and even has fucking fun with him. It's been five fucking years and I know I don't deserve her after what I did to her. But fuck I don't want her to have fun with anyone els
I'm surprised Jake isn't pestering me, one single time during class. It's the first time this week that my whole attention is settled on what we are being taught right now. We are talking about the basics of a novel, and we are asked to write a short novel to whichever theme we want. Perhaps based on our own life experience or whatever we want, writing it throughout the whole period until Christmas break. Our works need to be handed in before that time.My thoughts are now already circling on the theme I could use. To be honest, I have no idea. There's so much I could but nothing I want to write about. I mean, it's just a novel, right? A novel is usually just a story without a real background. I guess it's just supposed to make it easier to write about something we have experienced for real. And a novel you can adjust in any way you want.I am still lost in thoughts while walking out of class. Jake makes me jump when he calls loudly after me."For heaven's sake, Jake. Do you have to
I am in such a fucking mess, I decide to take a cab home instead of walking half an hour. Fresh air might have helped, but with the thoughts killing my mind I probably would have gotten lost on the way. At the moment I don't know how the hell to think straight.Is Jake telling me the truth? Why can't I remember him trying to help me? He's right at that time Jake wasn't fully grown, while Michael nearly was. Michael was in the sports team and very muscular, while the only sports Jake did was our skating. He wouldn't have had a chance against Michael. But why can I remember him running away and not him trying to fight Michael?I remember the words Evans told me about the drugs, maybe it does all make sense.What the hell could Michael's family have against Jake's family, that they would let him get away with rape and even put the blame on me? God, I can't believe what he has just revealed.Jake, my god Jake does feel guilty. Even if I always wished for him to feel it, I hated him the la
Evans lips are soft and the taste of his cherry chewing gum lingers on them. He took me totally by surprise. My lips automatically move along with his. His kiss is soft and tender. It feels good.It takes a few moments until I realize I shouldn't be doing this. Even if it feels good, but it doesn't feel fair or right. Gently I push him away and loosen myself out of his arms."I'm sorry Evans, I can't do this right now. I like you a lot and I need to know I am clear at mind and really want this, when I do this."He sighs. "No, it's my fault Sam, I tried although I knew you aren't ready. You just told me minutes ago. But I won't deny I liked how it felt to have your lips on mine."Fuck why does he have to be so sweet and damn sexy at the same time?I give him a quick peck on the cheek and enter our apartment before I do something stupid. At the moment I simply don't fucking know if I want more or not, it's so confusing.******Nightmares kept me up most of the night, I badly need my cof